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“Is there any way I could take a shower at your place? Mine are out of commission, and I can’t really go get a hotel room like this.” He almost leaned against the banister but shifted away from it quickly.
“Sure, you can stay in the same room if you want,” she relented. He was right—he couldn’t go into a hotel looking like he did. And if she locked herself in her room, she wouldn’t even notice he was there. Or she hoped she wouldn’t notice. She turned away from him, walking down the stairs without touching any of the rails as she went.
Calling after her, he asked, “Will the house be full when I wake up?”
“No,” she yelled back. “Just me tomorrow.”
Out the door and across the street, she didn’t stop until she was in her bedroom and had the door shut. Leaning against it, she forced herself to stop thinking. He was her past and should stay there. He had destroyed her at eighteen, and he didn’t even know who she was today. Wasn’t that enough reason for her to stay away from him?
Right now, she should be letting him die in the house that he was not so slowly killing. There was no reason that she should let him stay with her. He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to be near her at all.
But there was something about him that always made her feel protective of him. Though he was always bigger and stronger than her, she always felt there was something soft about him. It was part of his attraction.
Before she moved away from her bedroom door, she heard her guest shower turn on. Now she knew he was naked in her house again. Still, she wanted to join him, but she forced herself to shower in her own bathroom so that she could wash her awful thoughts away.
By the time she had washed him and her day off her body, the house was silent. Not wanting to stay up all night like she did the last time he stayed over, she forced herself into bed. Though she was not overly tired, she couldn’t let herself leave her room that night. Even though he had hurt her time and time again, she would crawl into his bed and let him hurt her all over again. Because she craved him too much not to.
