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“You could say that.”
He gives me an appraising look as if he’s wondering whether to ask what’s happened, but we don’t know each other well enough, and he just says, “Shall we go in, then? Get stuck into the mulled wine?”
“Don’t you want to wait for Cassie?”
He looks away, along the road, his smile fading. “I’m not sure if she’s coming.”
“Aw,” I say.
His eyes are distant, and he looks thoughtful. I wonder what they argued about. It’s a shame, so near Christmas, but then I know the pressure of the festive season puts added tension on relationships.
“Is she the one?” I ask, before I can vet the words.
His gaze comes back to me. “How does one know?” he replies, with some amusement.
“Does she make you happy?”
He opens his mouth to reply, then hesitates and closes it. His puzzled eyes meet mine, and our gazes lock. Oh man… I adore this guy, and I know my feelings must show in my eyes, but I can’t tear them away. My pulse speeds up, and for a long moment I can’t catch my breath.
“Hello.”
The woman’s voice comes from beside me, and I glance over to see Cassie standing there. Her gaze isn’t friendly. She saw us staring at each other.
“Hey, Cassie. Nice to see you.” I flash her a smile, conscious of the temperature dropping by ten degrees. “I’m going in to find Gaby.” I slip away before either of them can say anything and go into the bar.
Jesus. That was a close escape.
The place is hot and heaving. Christmas music mingles with laughter and voices. Fairy lights flicker above the wooden bar and on the huge tree in the corner. The whole place smells of cinnamon, orange, wine, and the spicy scent of mince pies.
I spot Gaby standing with some of the others, and I push through the crowd to stand beside her. “Hey, you!”
She turns, her face lights up, and then she throws her arms around me. We’ve been best friends since we started high school, and she met her husband, Tyson, only a few years after that. I watched her fall in love, and then saw her heart break when Tyson ended up in a wheelchair after a car accident. I have to admit I assumed she’d break up with him after that, but she stuck by him, and after several years of physio, and thanks in no small part to the mobility aids his friends invented for him, Tyson can now walk, albeit a little stiffly.
“I’m so glad you came,” she says. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” I think briefly about my parents, and despair flutters in my stomach. But I ignore it, and I turn to say hi to the others, determined to enjoy myself tonight.
Chapter Two
James
“I wasn’t sure if you were going to come,” I say to Cassie.
She doesn’t reply, and as we study each other, I’m conscious of the yawning chasm that’s been growing between us.
I very rarely lose my temper, and even when I am pushed beyond my limits, it switches off in seconds like a boiling kettle. Cassie’s like one of the geysers in Rotorua, constantly running at a high temperature, always ready to blow. I never know if she’s about to take offense at some throwaway comment, and she erupts regularly, sending scalding water onto me.
I’m not angry with her anymore. I’m just tired of the argument. But fury still brims in her eyes.
For a moment, I think she’s going to accuse me of having an affair with Aroha—she always assumes I’m sleeping with every woman I meet. But instead, she says, “You’re not going to apologize?”
“No, because I don’t have anything to apologize for.”
“You never admit it when you’re wrong,” she snaps.
“Cass, I haven’t lied to you at any point. I told you when we first started dating that I don’t want kids. It’s not my fault you assumed you could change me.”
“All guys say that when they’re young,” she replies. “Everyone goes on to have children eventually.”
