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I sit up. How long has he been standing there? For some reason, I think it was more than a few seconds. “It’s okay. I was tired and I dozed off, sorry.”
“It’s not a problem. Everyone’s gone. They all said to say goodbye.” He tips his head to the side. “Why didn’t you come back out?”
“They’re your friends, James, I didn’t want to intrude for too long.”
He frowns. “Gaby’s your best friend.”
“I know. But she’s part of your world.”
“What do you mean, my world?”
“She’s used to mixing in different circles. She’s not intimidated.”
His eyebrows lift. “You feel intimidated?”
“A little.”
“By whom?”
“Nobody in particular.”
He studies me, puzzled. “Is this about… money?”
“Of course it’s about money. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but I haven’t traveled, I don’t eat in posh restaurants, I don’t know the difference between different wines and whiskies, I don’t run my own business. Your experiences are very different from mine. It just reminds me that I’m… well… staff.”
He gives me an exasperated look. “You’re not staff.”
“You’re paying me to do a job, so yes, I am, and that’s fine! I’m happy with that. I’m not complaining. I’m just trying to explain why I feel a bit uncomfortable.”
He glares at me. “I don’t see it like that. You came to the trivia night with us, and to Damon’s wedding. You’re Gaby’s friend, and you’re my friend now who happens to be helping me out with my niece. I might be compensating you for your time, but you’re not staff.”
We study each other for a moment. He folds his arms and lifts an eyebrow.
“Is this you putting your foot down?” I ask.
He runs his tongue across his teeth, fighting not to smile. “Maybe. Look, the contents of our bank accounts are irrelevant. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Yes, but that’s a very naïve comment to make.”
“Are you going to give me a speech about being entitled and privileged now?”
“Of course not, I wouldn’t be so rude. But money does give a person a different outlook on life. It gives you confidence and a sense that you can do anything.”
“Are you saying you think I’m powerful and masterful?”
I give him a wry look. “Definitely not.”
He smirks. “I think that’s what you’re saying.”
Embarrassed, I decide to say what’s on my mind. “James… come on, don’t be dense. I’m staying in your house. I don’t want the others to think I’m sleeping with you because I’m after your money. I know what they all think of women like that.”
He stares at me. Then he says, “I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. And anyway, for all my faults, they know I’m not the kind of guy to bang the nanny.”
My face warms. That very declaration puts me in my place. Whatever he says, he sees me as staff, and because of his strict, self-imposed rules, he’s never going to be interested in me.
I think of how I gave him a massage today, and the feel of his skin and hair beneath my fingertips. I so badly wanted to lean over him and kiss him at the time. I like this guy so much. But I’m not in his league, and we both know it.
“Come and have a cup of coffee,” he says.
