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“Do you know how hard it was for me to hear that? Why did I need to be included in that conversation? Why did Sasha? That should have been a conversation between you and her. Now I have to sit here wondering why my own mother didn’t give a fuck about me. You can say you didn’t know, but I know you’re a liar. What mother can’t tell that her baby girl’s vagina been fucked with?”
She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m sorry, Kee, but I couldn’t tell. I really couldn’t.”
The tears slid down my cheeks, and Joel pulled me in his arms, surprising the hell out of me. I glanced up at him then resumed the conversation with my mama. “I still don’t believe you. I can understand how traumatic it was for Yunique to walk in on that and to be told he would kill her if she told, but again, she didn’t have to tell me. Now I want to find him. I’m gonna kill him. So, if for some reason you can’t find me, check the jailhouse.”
I ended the call and brought my hands to my face. “I left Vegas at the grocery store. You got Joel, baby girl. Come here.”
My eyes widened slightly as I looked up at him. He was serious, and that only caused the tears to really fall. I fell against him, wrapping my arms around him. He kissed my head. “Mo is a fucking waste of skin. He ain’t worth you going to jail though. I had no idea he was capable of no shit like that. There was no way Yonkers knew about that shit and left him walking the face of the earth.”
“I don’t think he knew either.” I lifted my head and stared into his eyes. I softly kissed his lips. “Thank you for caring, but I’m cool now. Like you said last week, I guess I’ll see you around.”
I stood from my seat, and he stood too. He didn’t walk to the door though. He grabbed my hand and said, “I’m not leaving yet. Not until your petty comes back. Then I’ll know you’re okay.”
“My petty doesn’t take a break. Whether I’m angry, hurting, sad, or emotional, that shit is intact.”
He slowly shook his head as I led him to my bedroom. I just wanted to lie down. For once, I wasn’t thinking about fucking. I just wanted to sleep. When we walked inside, I grabbed the folded T-shirt from my dresser. “This is yours. I wore it when I left your house since you ripped my halter top. You owe me for that shit.”
He chuckled. “Well, keep the shirt as payment.”
“Nigga, if I keep this shirt, you will still owe me. That halter was almost a hundred dollars.”
“Say less.”
He pulled a huge wad of money from his pocket and pulled off two one-hundred-dollar bills. “Buy two of ’em… different colors. That shit looked good on you, Barbie doll.”
“Barbie doll?”
“Yeah. You don’t think you look like a Barbie doll?”
“No. Not hardly. I hear that shit a lot though.”
“You don’t like people saying that?”
“I don’t care. I know they mostly mean it as a compliment. Thanks, but keep your money. I was only joking.”
He set the money on my dresser as I pulled my jeans off. When he turned to see me doing so, he pulled off his wind pants and T-shirt. God bless it. This man was so fucking fine. I got a nightshirt from my drawer and took off my shirt as he watched me. His eyes graced every part of my body as my eyes had done his.
The tremble that went through my body nearly caused me to fall to the floor. His gaze did that to me. That shit looked like he was ready to tear me apart. When he licked his lips, I knew I had better hurry and get my nightshirt on before he really had me in my feelings. Once I got the shirt on, I slid my hands underneath it and took off my bra, pulling it through the sleeve, then got in my bed. Joel joined me, only clad in his boxer briefs. I already knew I was fighting a losing battle. The minute his dick pressed against me, I’d be ready to slide down it.
SEVEN
VEGAS
Iknew Mo could be a shady muthafucka at times, but from what I gathered, he molested Keondra when she was a baby. That was some sick shit. Had Yonkers or Ice known that shit, his body would have come up missing. He would have been done so fast niggas would have really thought he disappeared. When she said that her mama should have noticed, I knew it happened while she was still in diapers.
I couldn’t stand to see her crying. That shit was my weakness. I thought I would be able to get through this life without being close to her, but the minute I saw her in the grocery store, all that shit went out the window. Keondra was going to have my heart if I didn’t do something to prevent it. The crazy part was that I didn’t know what to do to stop it. My efforts didn’t work.
I lay behind her, holding her in my arms. That shit was fucking with her big time. Her sister was full of shit for even telling her that. Listening to her whimpers had me soft as shit. I kissed her exposed shoulder. This nightshirt she had on was thin as fuck, and it hung off her shoulder. My dick was hard as hell, but I didn’t even want to take advantage. That was crazy as hell too.
“Joel?”
“Yeah, baby?”
I closed my eyes. Calling her baby came natural. Maybe I should take Jungle, Ali, and Seneca’s advice and stop fighting it. It was harder to fight it than to just give in. While I felt slightly uncomfortable holding her this way, it still felt good… good for my soul. It was so damn peaceful and soothing. I was angry that a nigga could do that to a baby, especially to her, but this moment allowed me to put that anger on the back burner.
“I know I’ve said thank you for this a couple of times already, but really, thank you. This is soothing for me. Tell me… why do you even want to do this for me?”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, thinking about how Ice used to talk to Mrs. Elaine. I tightened my embrace then said, “I care about you. I don’t know why I feel that way though. I mean, you cool until your petty comes out, but for some reason, I just wanna be here for you. Seeing your tears softened me. It’s like I’m high right now, and I haven’t smoked in a couple of days. Why you letting me be here though?”
