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Only a hot shower and a good cry will make me feel better. I set the power as high as it can go and let the punishing heat and the roar of the shower drown out my wrenching sobs.
I’m trying, I really am. Saving as much as I can and putting my dreams on hold. I should be providing the little angel with a home. She should experience the joy of being raised by her relative. This was something Viv and I never had.
Images of Harriet’s adorable blonde curls and chubby arms fill my head, fueling my desperation. She looks just like me. Like Vivian.
I leave the shower, my eyes red and skin wrinkled, but feeling so much lighter.
I wipe the fogged mirror, and for a moment, through the distorted image the steam makes, it seems like Viv is staring back at me.
Vivian and I could pass for twins. I gently finger-comb my thick, blonde, almost silvery hair, then grab a towel to dry it in a way that retains the natural waves.
I force my thoughts to more pressing needs, declaring my pity party now over.
I say to my reflection. “Stella, you’re going to get a new apartment and in a better neighborhood. It’s never going to be the Hamptons, but hell if you’re going to let that cow you.”
As I leave the foggy bathroom, I wonder whether it might be worth getting a regular-paying job. Bonnie has started working in Ethan’s company, and she doesn’t seem to be regretting it so far, despite the man being a bosshole.
I’m about to pull on my favorite silk robe when my phone vibrates on the dresser.
It’s Ryan.
I let out a huff of irritation, ignoring the way my heart skips a beat. Again? He’s been calling me every day for the past week now. What’s crawled under the guy’s ass?
The last time the guy called me this frequently was five months ago when I stormed out of his hotel room, wishing I would never lay eyes on him again.
Of course, that notion was laughable. Short of moving out of New York, I was unlikely to get that particular wish granted.
We ended up meeting again and again, and every time, I came away hating him a little bit more.
Craving him a little bit more, that snarky voice mocks.
I decline the call with a savage flick of my thumb and fling the offending phone on the bed. Then I whip off the towel on my head, drying my hair in vigorous jerks, something I tell my clients to never do. But I need to dispel these horrid thoughts.
What could he possibly want from me this time?
I remember those early morning calls just before Brooke and Xavier’s wedding. How I managed to come away from that with my sanity intact is beyond me. The man just gets under my skin like no one ever has.
I enjoy teasing men and calling the shots, but Ryan is like uncharted waters, wild and unpredictable. I hate the way something inside me trembles when he’s near. I tell myself it’s the sheer size of him, but I know better.
I glare at the phone until it finally stops vibrating. Then, I head to the kitchen to fix myself a much-needed sandwich. I’d skipped breakfast because my stomach was in knots this morning.
I’m just settling at my kitchen table and loading up my laptop, ready to power through some client bookings when the doorbell rings.
Awesome! Must be the delivery for the new makeup brushes I speed-ordered yesterday.
I refasten my robe’s belt, take the towel off my head and fluff out my hair. Then, I quickly pad across the living room and pull the door open without even checking the peephole.
I’m shocked to see it’s Ryan.
He fills my doorway, tall and imposing. His hair is sexily mussed, like he’s been running his fingers through it. This time his eyes aren’t cold. They’re scorching. Helplessly, my own eyes rove over his tailored black shirt. It contrasts with his tanned skin and lovingly molds to his torso.
I catch myself and yank my gaze back to his before it has a chance to descend even lower. And I find his own eyes haven’t quite made it back to mine because they’re busy roaming all over my silk-clad body.
Shit. I thought this was a quick delivery.
I jerk the edges of my robe more firmly together. “Ryan?”
His smile widens. “Stella.” My name sounds like a prayer rolling off his lips.
