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“Getting what in writing?” I asked.
“I pitched my nine-point plan to get people off the streets. I told him one of the problems was a California state law that required all government-funded drug rehab facilities use a harm reduction program, and we needed city facilities that required sobriety and helped people achieve it. He told me he would do it my way, and if the state challenged it, he would sue them. That’s a huge plus.”
“Wait—he’s going to implement your plan citywide?”
“No, he’s not that brave. But he’s giving me a small region and a substantial grant and my own team at homeless services. I’ll have twelve dedicated social workers at my disposal. I can use existing staff or hire new staff. Train them. The grant goes to First Contact for housing, rehab, cleanups and staff. I made sure my contract requires me to provide monthly reports of our progress, so everything is transparent. I will prove that accountability works. And I need a good computer person, someone who sees the homeless as people, as human beings, not as profit makers. Who knows the system and how it works. I need you.”
“You want me to work for you?”
“Yes. I can pay you now. I’ll pay what you made for the city. Together, Violet, we can make a difference. If I run this pilot project successfully and prove that I can get people off the streets and turn them self-sufficient in three years? Maybe they’ll expand it citywide. Statewide.”
“You’re an optimist.”
“Yes, I am. And you’re a pessimist. And together, we make a good team.”
He took my hand and didn’t let go. “At least,” he said quietly, “I think we make a great team.”
I looked down at our joined hands. I didn’t know where this was going, but for the first time in forever, I felt a hint of hope...of optimism for the future.
For my future.
I smiled. “We do make a great team.”
45
Kara had been sitting on her condo’s roof for an hour before Matt found her there. She was lying on a blanket she’d pulled out of her closet and staring at the night sky, listening to the ocean waves and trying to figure out why she was so miserable.
He sat next to her. She didn’t say anything, but she liked having him there with her.
What could she say? She didn’t know what she was going to do with her life. She wished she’d brought up a six-pack, but she hadn’t thought to, and then she didn’t want to leave the comfort of her roof.
Finally, she said, “Lex told me I could come back. Detective, promotion, any precinct I wanted. No undercover work, but I can pick my squad. Narcotics, Homicide, Property, whatever.”
Matt didn’t say anything.
“I quit.”
When he still didn’t say anything, Kara said, “I blew it.”
“You didn’t do anything, Kara. None of what happened this week had anything to do with you.”
“Not that. Fuck—I’m always ready to take the blame when things go sideways, but this is the one time that none of it was my fault. But—I quit. I’m not a cop anymore. I’m not an FBI agent.”
“You will always have a job with me.”
“I don’t know if I have it in me, Matt. I don’t deal well with FBI bureaucracy, I don’t want to go through the FBI academy—and I don’t even know if they’d accept me, even with you helping to smooth the way. I recognize that I got in through a back door this last year—but I’ve been really lucky. I don’t handle office politics well, and I don’t really like a lot of people. A lot fewer now than last week.”
She wasn’t angry. Oh, she had been angry. She had never been so mad in her life. Now she was...heartbroken. Just...so deeply hurt she didn’t know how she was going to crawl out of this pit.
“I have been worried for months that I wouldn’t be able to come back to my old job. That because of Chen and everything else that had been going on at the beginning of the year I wouldn’t have a job anymore. It terrified me to lose it, thinking I was nothing without it. This—this is ten times worse. I trusted them. Elena. Lex. And especially Colton. I trusted all of them.”
Her voice cracked and tears fell. She hated that. She didn’t want to give any of them tears. They didn’t deserve it.
But maybe she did. The loss she felt was so big, so vast, she didn’t know if she’d ever get over this betrayal.
Matt wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. She turned her face into his chest and closed her eyes, trying not to sob, silent tears streaming, soaking into his shirt.
Kara didn’t want to need Matt, she didn’t want to need anyone, but right now she was so grateful that he was here with her. What had she thought before? That Matt was the man who was behind her, in front of her, at her side. She wanted him...but she didn’t want to want him. Everything had changed—she had changed—and she didn’t know what the future held for her, for Matt, for them.
