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“I missed this,” I murmured to him, lifting my gaze. “I missed you…”
He didn’t say anything to that. He quickly helped me out of my dress, sliding it above my head, leaving me in only my panties and a bra. His hand slid between my legs and I expected his usual caresses, but he was much more rough while he was running his finger along the entire length of my labia. Despite the unusual sensation, it felt good. My body responded to his touch immediately, shivering, waiting for more.
I expected him to make me luxuriate in sensations, as he always did, before we proceeded to the main course. His foreplay always sent me over the edge and I would moan with pleasure just from his fingers alone. But not this time.
He slid a finger inside of me deep, then added another one. The feeling was overwhelming, aching and tantalizingly slow. I wanted more. I always wanted more of it, but instead, he pulled his fingers out and adjusted himself on top of me.
I expected to be showered with kisses, so I offered my lips to him. He gave them a superficial peck, then he buried his face into my neck. I could feel his hot breath spilling onto my skin, and as always, it made me yearn for him more. I didn’t care that we would skip foreplay this time. It wouldn’t be a first, so I enjoyed the moment as it came to me.
He pulled down his boxer shorts, exposing his manhood. I cupped it with my hands, eager to play with it, but he took me by the wrists, brought them back up, leaving me immobile.
I looked at him, his eyes seemed much darker than usual, but it wasn’t just that. They were empty somehow, if such a thing was even possible. As I was still trying to be in the moment, my body suddenly awakened to a lack of compliance.
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. This was my husband. Why couldn’t I relax with him like always? Why was I so tense? Why couldn’t I enjoy this like before?
A million questions started to swarm inside my mind, as my husband entered me with a grunt, with his face still buried in my neck. He did it slowly, deliberately.
Pleasure started to rise inside of me, slowly, almost embarrassingly. I couldn’t understand it. His size left me speechless, as always, gasping for more. I smiled. Maybe this was all in my head, just like before. I was the one creating trouble where there was none. All I had to do was relax.
I surrendered to him, to the bliss that he was bringing me. I hooked my legs around his waist, keeping him closer. We didn’t need to look at each other. I wrapped my arms around him, inhaling his scent, his presence. I opened myself up to him, giving myself to him in any way he wanted. I loved him so much, no words would ever be able to describe this feeling.
He worked in a rhythm that I liked. Deeper with each thrust, he managed to rub my clit at the same time, while his other hand squeezed my breast, pinching my nipples, creating that sweet pleasure and pain moment. It all lasted mere minutes, but he left me shaking as always. I exploded instantly, without the usual build up, the world around me blurring.
Then, something strange happened. I had no idea whether he came or not. All I knew was that he pulled away so suddenly from me, so unexpectedly that I had no idea what to say. In a blink of an eye, he was up, getting dressed, with me still lying on the sofa, my legs spread, feeling more exposed and vulnerable than ever. I didn’t know whether to call after him or cry silently. I didn’t do anything, and it cost me all my conscious effort.
He lingered for a moment in the doorway, his hand on the doorknob, then he left and I was once again alone, now feeling even worse than before, because I had no idea what to think.
I quickly got dressed, subduing an onslaught of tears and decided that this night, I would sleep in my sister’s bedroom. I rushed over there, sneaking like a thief in the night, gripping at my own body, then closed the door behind me. I wanted to leave the world behind, to make it disappear. I laid down in her bed, and clutched at the covers, which I pulled over my head. Tears would not come anymore. I banished them from my eyes. All that was left was a big, gaping hole with darkness I could not fathom.
Chapter Thirteen
Adrian
I had no idea how long I had been in the hole. It became my personal abyss, a never-ending nightmare of solitude that gnawed at my soul. Seconds felt like entire hours, while hours felt like days. Although I’m sure that it couldn’t have been more than a day. My body started to feel hunger, human hunger for food, but it was still under control. My hunger for blood had surprisingly diminished, and I thanked heavens for that.
I would doze off, thankful for the rest, but then I would wake up even more exhausted and stiff than I was before. My spirit was weighed down by the crushing sound of noiseless isolation. The silence was deafening. My own thoughts started to torment me instead of being my way out of this hell. I would scream, just to hear a sound, but my own voice reverberated against the cold, unforgiving walls that seemed to close in on me in this pitch darkness. I felt like this hole was clawing at my sanity, eroding it bit by bit. I did my best to stay alert, to stay awake, to remember that I had someone to go back to.
Then, I heard an actual noise that did not come from me. At first, I thought I was dreaming, that it was my own mind playing tricks on me. But it wasn’t. Salvation from darkness arrived in the form of heavy footsteps drawing near. The clinking of keys and the stiff groan of the cage door above me signaled an end to this cruel confinement.
A flashlight was aimed at me, but it was too bright. I shielded my eyes with my palms, afraid that the bright light might harm them. My heart raced as the cage door swung open. I was still squinting at the glare, when silhouettes of several guards materialized from the darkness.
One of them extended a hand to me. I was too exhausted to try anything, and they could all see it. I doubt anyone who had been put in this hole for any amount of time still had it in him to fight them. I hesitated for a moment, my eyes adjusting to the light, before taking his hand and clutching at it. With his help, I emerged from this pit of despair, my body frail and my spirit battered, but a spark of hope was still inside of me. Constantine didn’t manage to break me completely. I was on the brink, but the guards came just in time. I had no idea if Constantine planned it in such a way, but I was grateful for the timing, nonetheless.
We retraced our steps through the dimly lit corridor, our footsteps echoing in the silence. The guards’ grip on my arms was firm, a constant reminder that I shouldn’t try to escape again, because I would be surely thrown back into the hole. My mind raced with doubts and fears, but I tried to keep them under control. I reminded myself that my own negative emotions only intensified the doppelganger’s own negativity and that would place Cass and Lilith in even more danger than they were already in.
Upon reaching the room, the guard swiftly unlocked the door and ushered me inside. The sound of the heavy door closing and the click of the lock sent a shiver down my spine. I was back in the same cold, oppressive space, the room that had become my grim reality. As I stood there, the weight of confinement settling upon me once more, a sinking feeling of despair washed over me. It was a harsh reminder that my struggle was far from over, and that I was still at the mercy of Constantine.
I tried to remember that this was far better than being thrown into the hole. I walked about the room, pacing slowly, stretching my entire body. It felt good. I could hear my bones cracking, one by one. Then, I lied down on the sofa, old and stale, but it was still softer than the floor, and it allowed me to stretch my entire body, for which I was extremely grateful at this moment.
Exhaustion overcame me like a heavy blanket, and I could no longer fight off the weariness that had plagued me for so long. My eyelids felt heavy, as if there was a bag of sand on each of them. My body was completely drained of energy. The cushions underneath my back provided a semblance of comfort.
Every muscle in my body ached from this ordeal, while my mind struggled to stay alert and awake. I closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would offer some rest despite the turmoil that raged within me. As I lay there, the world around me slowly faded away. The sounds of the room became distant echoes, and the weight of exhaustion pulled me into the welcoming embrace of sleep. In that moment, the only thing that mattered was the peaceful oblivion of slumber, a brief escape from the harsh reality that had become my life.
After a while, I slowly stirred from sleep. Immediately, I could feel a change within me. I felt as if a dormant reserve of strength, one of the last ones, had been awakened, infusing my body with newfound strength and vigor. The fatigue that had weighed me down was still there, still surging through my veins, but at least it was kept under control now.
I sat up on the sofa, blinking away the last remnants of sleep from my eyes. The room, still dimly lit and oppressive, locked away from the rest of the world, now seemed to hold a glimmer of hope. I felt like hope and despair were swinging on a pendulum inside of me, with each side taking over depending on the situation. Now, it was hope filling me to the brim.
I took a deep breath, inhaling the stale air of the room, and I felt determination take over me. I survived the hole. I hoped I wouldn’t have to go through that again but at least now I knew what to expect from Constantine. And that probably wasn’t the worse thing he could do to me.
