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This man has come into the diner every day since I've started working here. All with one plan on his mind. To get me to go on a date with him. It didn't matter to him if he was already in a relationship with someone else. I was the one woman he's never had and that meant he was going to do anything in his power to get me. Problem with that is I wasn't the least bit interested in him. Sure he's handsome but if I told him to jump out of a moving car he'd do it as long as it meant I'd fuck him at the end of the night. I don't need someone who is just going to give me everything I want. I want someone who's going to challenge me.
"Tom, good to see you." I paste on my phony smile and turn to look at him over my shoulder.
"You too Ella," He says using my alias.
It took me a long while to get used to answering to that name. It took a lot out of me not to reach out to anyone in my past. Took everything to become nothing.
"On your way home then?" I ask just as Alan calls out for me to run another errand.
"Yeah, Well I was just trying to make sure that you still weren't available for dinner tonight?" Tom raises his eyebrows in question.
"No, Tom. I'm not available but I'm sure your girlfriend would be more than happy to take my place." I roll my eyes and walk away from him. I'm tired of telling him no all the time.
"She's not really my girlfriend. She's just there for a little fun. I promise you it's nothing long-term with her." He shakes his head and all I can do is glare at him in return. He'd dismiss any other woman for a chance to get in my pants. I guess I can give him points for persistence.
"Either way, I'm not available. Sorry, Tom." I shrug and walk back over to where Alan is hoping that Tom will get the hint and leave.
"Did you already fill up the pastry display?" Alan asks as he flips through the pages on the clipboard.
I squeeze my hands together and shoot a glance in the direction of the pastry display. It's not more than three feet in front of him. All he has to do is look up and he'd have the answer to his question but that would be too much work for him.
"Yes, Alan, all the pastry displays have been refilled."
"Good, I hope you didn't take any for yourself. You're one more danish to having to get a new uniform. You wonder why Tom is always sniffing around you when you're about to bust right out of those pants." He scoffs and walks away like he didn't just insult me to no end.
Looking down at my body I realize I have gained a few pounds since he's known me but when he met me I'd only been clean for a few weeks. I hadn't yet gotten my appetite back or my muscle mass. Now I'm healthy and he has the nerve to tell me I'm getting fat?
"I haven't taken any. It's time for me to go." I give Alan a tight smile and turn on my heel to walk out.
The minute I step foot outside the door of the small cafe and feel the warm air wash over my face I break out into a wide smile. My hand digs into my pocket and I feel the bullet that I'm sure should have been the bullet that was to take my life. Every time I touch the cold hard metal it just reminds me how lucky I am.
The minute I left New Jersey my life turned for the better.
Looking down at my watch I realize that Frieda will be by shortly. I need to get back home if I'm going to be there on time. I've never been late. I don't plan on being late now.
My life may not be what I ever dreamed of but now with the blessings and second chances that I've gotten, I have to say it's exactly what I needed to get my life back on track.
As I make my way to my small front yard, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It's been a long while since I've felt like this. When I first got to town I'd feel like someone was watching me every day, it never turned out to be anything more than an opossum or raccoon so I've learned to shake off the feeling except now I can't shake it off. I truly feel like someone is hiding just around the corner waiting to jump out at me.
Slowly I scan the area trying to find anyone out of the ordinary. Of course, no one is there.
With a shrug, I make my way over to the back of my property and start taking down the clothes that I have hanging there on the line. I don't have enough for an indoor washer and dryer but I make do with handwashing the bulk of our clothing. Anything else I take to the laundromat in town to wash. As I start pulling down some of my unmentionables, my stomach clenches again and butterflies run rampant in my gut. I can't shake this feeling.
"I just need to cool down a bit. The heat is making me delirious." I say to myself as I look over my shoulder one final time. There's still nothing back there. It has to be some sort of animal lurking around in the woods that's got me so on edge like this. Maybe it's a bear.
With that new found fear, I grab the few pieces of clothes in front of me off the line and hustle into my house. I know it's probably just some anxiety about living this far in the sticks but the last thing that I want is to be some bears lunch.
The instant I'm in the house, I make sure to close all the windows and lock the doors. I pull the drape open so I can look out the front and keep an eye out for Frieda. If there is any danger in the back I don't want her to mistakenly go in that direction. I'm sure she's going to tell me that I'm being ridiculous. Frieda has been living in this part of town since she was a small child. I doubt there's any animal that she's afraid of.
More and more the tension in my gut grows like the danger is getting closer and closer. Days like this I really wished I had a gun for protection. I never thought I'd need one. If an animal decided to come in and eat me I don't think I'd have the nerve or calmness to shoot it before I dropped down to my knees and cried to God for mercy. I'm not built that way.
Finally just as the collar of my shirt begins to get damp with my cold sweat I can hear Frieda and Chance coming down the street. Her silly nonsense words and his high-pitched squealing laughter. Instantly all the fear and uncertainty I'd felt moments ago vanished. Could it be I was just missing him?
I don't know for sure but I know ever since that little boy came into my life not only did I find more to live for but I've become happier than I've ever been.
I named him Chance because that's exactly what he is, my second chance at a better life.
Ten
