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Once he's secure, I grab the medication for Stella. Crushing up three Tylenol pills in a bit of water and grabbing a piece of cloth I go back into the bathroom. The steam is almost oppressive when I open the door again but I know it's good for the both of them. I'll deal with it.
I wake her up so she doesn't choke and let her drink it down. She doesn't stay awake but she does drink the medicine down. I breathe a sigh of relief when she doesn’t choke. The baby starts whimpering again but I don't know what else to do with him. I stare down at Chance trying to figure out what else I could do to help him.
I've never really been nurtured when I was a child, my brothers and sisters were the only ones who really cared for me. But I do remember that I did always want to be held as a child. I wanted someone to put there arms around me and tell me that it was okay. Maybe that's what he wants right now.
I take Chance out of the holder and cradle him to my chest. He squirms for a little while but I don't give up. I sway from side to side and comfort him as best I can. Soon he settles and just looks up at me. I see the intrigue and wonder in the little boys eyes.
Softly I whisper words of encouragement to him, tell him how good he's doing and how he's going to feel better soon.
Shortly after that Chance is falling asleep in my arms and I’m hesitant to put him down.
Just a short while ago he was just another child to me and now he's my entire life.
Eighteen
Stella
The steam is overwhelming but it makes my chest feel better.
I open my eyes and don't see anything but the white mist. Slowly my eyes adjust and I can see through the fog. To my surprise, instead of being in here alone, Vitto is in here with me. I watch even more shocked as Vitto rocks back and forth with Chance in his arms like he's the most precious thing in the world. He whispers sweet words and caresses his cheeks. This is the same person I watched shove a stone through a man's eye and now he's touching my son's face like it's a piece of porcelain.
I wanted to ask him what was going on, but as I opened my mouth I got my answer. A hard cough wracked my body. I don't know what kind of bug we managed to get but it knocked me on my ass.
A soft whimper catches my attention and I try to turn my head in Chance's direction. I want to grab hold of him and hold him to my chest. I want to comfort my son. But it seems like Vitto already has it covered.
"Shhh, it's okay little one. You're going to be okay." I hear him whisper to Chance.
I blink a few times trying to make sure I'm not hallucinating. Who is this man?
A strange calming feeling washes over me as I secretly watch Vitto consoling and taking care of my son. Even when I was home with my own family I never had anyone show this level of care. And yet I'm watching one of the most ruthless men I've ever come across baby talk my son. I can't wrap my head around it. I shift slightly and realize that not only is there a cloth on my head but there are ice packs under my arms. Not only is here taking care of Chance but he's taking care of me as well.
I fight to keep my eyes open but the fatigue overpowers me. Even as the lure of unconsciousness call to me again, I feel at ease. Vitto may be a killer but I know for certain he will take care of Chance. I always wanted someone who'd be a good father figure to Chance and even though I can't say he's a good roll model he definitely is the best protector.
* * *
I don't know how long we've been sleeping but when I wake my body feels like it's been put through the ringer. My forehead feels dry so at least I know the fever I had is gone. "Chance." I croak and try to roll over to my back. The second I do, my ribs contract and I cough up a massive amount of phlegm.
"Stop it. Just be still."
My eyes scan the room and I see Vitto in the corner with Chance still in his arms. "Give him to me." I put my arms out and they shake as I hold them in the air.
"No." His answer is final and it pisses me off.
"What the hell do you mean no? That's my child and I want him." I argue.
"He's my child too and right now you look like you might drop a pillow if I laid it in your arms. I'm not going to take a chance." Vitto snaps back at me.
I open my mouth to issue him a petulant response but I know he's right. I don't have my strength yet and I could injure him if I dropped him. Still I wanted to be near him. My son keeps me grounded and right now I feel like I'm losing my mind.
"Can you at least come sit by me. I just want to see him." I soften my voice so Vitto doesn't take it as an attack. I've learned in the short time that I've been with him that his temper is quick to flare but also he's confused by sweetness.
"Yeah. Okay." Vitto gets up slowly and I can see the exhaustion in his face. I must have been sleeping for a long while. I move over to the side, another hard racking cough coursing through my body.
Vitto sits down next to me and after I get myself together I look over my son who is looking a little flushed but doesn't seem to have a fever. His little chest expands so hard as he breathes and I can hear the wheezing.
"I need to get him some medicine."
"I did it already." Vitto replies.
