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They had all loved their friend, but Eloise was the only one that had been forced to see the way death had stolen the color from her cheeks. The only one who knew that the sight of those bruises on her neck could put a fear into your heart that made it impossible to move.
The small crack she’d sensed between them in the days leading up to Kim’s murder had grown into a chasm, and she didn’t know how to reach them now.
“I’m sure,” she assured them.
Sarah’s eyes were hidden behind the black veil she wore with her tiny, fashionable hat but she sniffled and dabbed at her wet cheeks with a white handkerchief as they walked away, and Eloise felt her heart tremble. She hated leaving them alone in their grief, but she already felt like her own was deep enough to drown in.
The short drive to the cemetery gave her time to clear her thoughts, to push the intrusive images out of her head and try to pull together what she should say to them, but the words vanished as she stepped out of her car and saw them huddled together beside Kim’s grave. A fresh wave of pain washed over her and with it a surprising spark of anger.
They had each other and somehow, by losing Kim, it seemed she was losing them, too. She greeted them quietly and they responded with polite smiles, but the connection between them was strained and thin.
There were birds chirping in the trees when they lowered Kim’s casket into the ground and afterward, that was all Eloise could remember. Her friends and Kim’s family had drifted away into the background, and she’d cried, silently and more alone than she’d ever felt before, while butterflies flitted from flower to flower, and the breeze danced among the branches.
She jumped when the first shovelful of dirt hit the top of the casket, body taut and emotions drawn painfully tight. There was a limit to what she could endure for the sake of saying goodbye and she moved as quickly as she could once the first mourners turned toward their cars.
“Eloise, wait!”
Chloe and Sarah were hurrying toward her, and she paused as she reached the line of cars parked beside the narrow lane that wound through the rows of tombstones. It was a beautiful place, quiet and peaceful, but she felt an itch under her skin, the urge to flee making her fingers twitch. Kim would be here forever, and whatever Chloe and Sarah wanted to talk about, it could wait until Eloise was somewhere as far from here as possible.
“Maybe we could talk about this later?” She tried her best to give them a tight smile as she reached for the car door. “I’m not feeling well.”
“We just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Chloe said quickly, stepping in beside Eloise to block the door from opening. There was a crease of worry between her brows that did little to soothe Eloise’s fracturing nerves. “You seem really upset.”
“Not that we blame you,” Sarah added. “After Kim and then that thing at your house the other night. It would be enough to make anyone unsettled.”
“I’m not unsettled,” Eloise corrected. “I’m terrified that the next time the two of you go to someone’s funeral, it’s going to be mine. I don’t want you or my family to have to go through this.”
“Nothing else has happened since then.” Sarah reached for Eloise’s hand and her fingers were cold despite the warm day. “I’m sure it’s going to be fine.”
“Yeah,” Chloe agreed. “It was probably just a coincidence. I mean, there’s no reason for anyone to be after you, right? You didn’t see anything and there’s nothing connecting you to whatever happened to Kim?”
Eloise didn’t miss the questioning note in Chloe’s voice and it grated on her already brittle patience. It wasn’t the first time since Kim’s death that one or the other of them had hinted that she might know more than she was letting on and though it would explain some of the strange distance between them, it reignited her anger.
“I told you I don’t know anything,” she said stiffly. It came out less kindly than she’d intended, and she wasn’t shocked to see the look on Chloe’s face change from guardedly friendly to frigid.
“Then I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.” Chloe flashed a quick smile and moved away from the door. “We’ll see you at work.”
“Yeah.” Eloise tugged the door open and slid behind the wheel. “I’m sure you will.”
It had always been the two of them that were closest, so it shouldn’t have surprised her when they walked away together, neither of them looking back as they went. Sarah had been Eloise’s best friend, but she couldn’t say that the same had been true for Sarah. They obviously thought she had something to do with Kim’s death. Why else would they keep asking her about it?
They didn’t trust her.
If it had been one of them that had found her, would she have trusted them? Eloise wanted to think she would have, that the bonds of their friendship went deeply enough that she would never have suspected them of something so heinous.
But she knew she’d never really be sure.
She drove home in a daze then sat in the driveway, trembling with sorrow and impotent rage until Ethan found her. The soft rap on her window startled her and she jumped, heart leaping in terror, until she recognized the exact shade of his hair and the puzzled frown on his familiar, plush mouth.
The tears that had been frozen inside her rushed out as relief chased the fear from her mind and she sagged against the seat, sobbing openly. Such a raw display of vulnerability in front of him would have shamed her only a few short weeks ago. Was it Ethan that had changed her? Or the shock of her loss and the subsequent fear?
He opened the door and unbuckled her seatbelt, welcoming her into a soothing embrace as she turned into him, seeking comfort in his strength and his warmth, the solid and steady beat of his heart and the faint smell of cologne.
“I knew I shouldn’t have let you go to the funeral alone.” There was a frightened catch in his voice, and he was running his hands over her subtly, checking for injuries as well as he could without letting her go. “Did something happen? Are you hurt?”
She could only shake her head, unable to catch her breath enough to explain the horrible mix of loss and anger that had overtaken her. It seemed like such a foolish thing to lose her composure over so completely, but she knew if she’d been able to get the words out, he wouldn’t have judged her for it.
“Shh,” he soothed. He pressed his lips to her temple then buried his face in her hair, tightening his grip when she only cried harder into his shoulder. “I’m here and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
