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“The Internet,” she whispers back, redness burning in her face. “We’re all over the Internet, according to my boss.” She isn’t meeting my eyes, which causes a thick layer of panic to settle in the pit of my stomach. “Someone took photos of us kissing last night.”
No.
I can’t believe it. I refuse to believe it.
I have always been careful. I have never let the press know anything about me until Riley. But even that wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was just going to give her the information that I wanted; I didn’t want anyone to find out aboutus.
Shit.
I roll over quickly in the bed and grab my cell phone, with my heart hammering so hard against my rib cage that I fear it might break free at any given moment. Sickness swirls within me. I can hardly see straight as I open my browser to see what Riley is talking about.
“Holy shit…”
Seeing the photos steals the air from my lungs as well. I am starting to understand why Riley is freaking out. There it is. Plain as day. Me and Riley kissing. Shit, I don’t know what to say now. The nausea I was feeling beforehand has intensified a million percent.
“Oh God,” Riley groans as she sees the images as well. “This is worse than I thought.”
She’s about to see why I do everything that I can to keep my life private. Because this is going to be dreadful, there are no words for the shit storm that we’re about to face. I feel sorry for Riley, but I also feel sorry for myself. Neither of us want this…
“What do we do?” Riley hisses, fear dripping off her tongue. “How do we deal with this?”
“I… I don’t know…” I wish I had more for her, but I don’t. This isn’t a position that I’ve ever found myself in. I have always been so careful, and I can’t believe I let my guard down.
This is why I shouldn’t have gotten involved with the press. Although, I have to admit that despite everything, I don’t regret all the time that I’ve spent with Riley. Does that mean Benjamin is right and there is something between me and her?
I suppose this isn’t the right time to worry about that.
“I need to talk to my coach,” I say as I jump out of the bed, the world crashing down on me, imploding. “I need to explain this to him. He’s going to kick my ass.”
Oh God, Coach really is going to kill me. The more I let that thought sink in, the harder it is to process. He made me work with Riley for the journalistic piece, but he’s going to be fuming to know that I definitely overstepped the line.
“You’re going now?” Riley’s eyes widen as she sees me gathering up my clothing. “Seriously? What am I supposed to do?“
I gather her up in my arms and embrace her in a tight hug. I can feel her heart hammering against my rib cage, just as mine is. Unfortunately, I can’t find the right words to make this okay, mostly because there aren’t any right words.
“I need to sort this out with my coach. Maybe you need to sort it out with work.”
She sinks into my arms, her legs buckling as the pressure gets to her. I hate even thinking about leaving Riley right now, but I know I have to. We’ve both opened this crazy shitstorm and we both need to find a way to work through things, to make it right in our own lives. I don’t knowhowthis will affect Riley’s life, so all I can do is figure it out on my own.
“I will be back, I promise you, but I think I need to speak to Coach now.”
My blood gets cold as I say that. My heart starts racing faster, but it doesn’t feel good. It’s like my heart is thumping painfully. I would love nothing more than to hide under the duvet with Riley and block this out, pretend it just isn’t happening, but I know I can’t. I have to face this, even if it kills me.
“When will you be back?” Riley asks me with tears in her eyes. She’s breaking my fucking heart right now, which makes this so much worse. “You’ll keep in touch, right? Because I don’t want to say or do anything that will make this worse for either of us.”
“Soon,” I promise, even though I don’t know if I can stick to that. “I swear, and I will keep in touch the whole time. If there’s anything I need you to do…” I swallow hard as it hits me how selfish that sounds. “Or anything you need me to do… it’ll be fine.”
Oh God, this doesn’t feel good at all. I know this is going to suck for a while and that Riley might not be happy with me, but I need to do something about this before it makes everything so much harder for the both of us.
It’ll be fine in the end. It has to be.
***
Benjamin is the first one to catch my eye as I walk into the gym, where I know we’re supposed to be working out today. The moment he spots me, he lights up like a damn Christmas tree. My heart sinks because I already know where this is going.
“Oh my God, there you are, Alex. You really are a dirty dog.”
He isn’t the only one with so-called hilarious comments for me. I guess it’s because I’m the only one who hasn’t been in this position before. I’m never the center of attention for this reason. I try to take all the jibes on the chin, but I can’t hide the anxiety coursing through my veins. Until I see Coach and work out what he has to say about all of this, I don’t think I’m going to be able to calm down.
