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But as I drum my fingers on the table, I find myself very unconvinced by that theory. Ireallyfeel like there is something blooming between us, something real. I don’t think Riley could ever be that good an actress.
If she isn’t here, there’s a reason for it.
As my heart starts to hammer violently against my rib cage, I take some money out of my wallet and toss it on the table before stalking out the restaurant. Someone else can have my beer since I’ve paid for it anyway. I need to check on Riley.
I know I thought she might have been… not overreacting, exactly, but panicking too much about the thought that she had been doxxed, but with her vanishing like this, without a trace, it’s freaky. She’s usually in touch with me as much as she can be, and she’s never stood me up before.
None of this makes sense.
Oh God, if shewasright to worry and something has happened to her, then I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Guilt is already flowing rapidly through my veins, freezing me over. I pick up the pace, practically running until I get to Riley’s home.I’m out of breath as I get to her front door, and not only because of the exercise. I’m freaked out.
“Hey, Riley,” I cry out as I hammer on her door. “Riley, you there?”
I get nothing but a painful silence back.
It seems like she really isn’t here.
I call her again, this time so fired up, even if I don’t know what to do with all of this pent-up energy. If sheisin trouble, I know I’ll get her out of it. Whatever I need to do.
This time, much to my surprise, not only does the phone ring, but Riley picks up.
Shit. If something is going on, I’m about to find out.
“Alex, sorry,” she answers with a painful croak in her voice. “I wasn’t ignoring you. I just didn’t have any battery on my phone…”
“Where are you? I thought we were meeting for dinner…”
“Shit, yeah, I’m sorry about that. I forgot… Well, I didn’t forget. I’ve just had to leave the city. I had to go back to my mom’s house.”
My heart drops down. I feel sick to my stomach as I lean forward to grab my knees. She isn’t here anymore? That really sucks. I haven’t felt truly alone in this nightmare for one moment, until now.
With Riley gone, a creeping sense of loneliness moves up my spine.
I don’t feel nearly as equipped to handle this as I thought I was.
“Oh, I see…”
“People started sending weird stuff to my house, Alex. I didn’t feel like I could stay there anymore. Someone definitely knows my address, and I didn’t know what was going to happen next. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know before I left, but I was in a hurry.”
I understand.
That’s the hardest thing about what she’s saying.
I might not like it, but I get it. Of course, she wouldn’t want to stay in the city where people can find her—the same people who may well have been posting vile things and thinly veiled threats online.
I don’t know if I’d want to stick it out, either.
“I’m sorry, Riley, that sucks.” I rake my fingers desperately through my hair. “That’s horrible. I wish you weren’t going through this.”
“I… I don’t know when I’ll be back,” she confesses, hurting my heart even more. “I can’t be there for now though. It’s just too much. I definitely haven’t been dealing with it very well, and the worse it gets, the worse it feels.”
I nod along, rationally accepting every single word, even if it’s killing me. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that, Riley. I hope you’re okay. Is there anything I can do?”
Obviously not. I’m too far away, but I have to offer anyway.
“I don’t think so. But thank you, Alex, that means a lot.”
The silence hanging between us speaks volumes. There is so much I want to say here, and I sense that there are words she’s holding inside as well, but that’s how they remain.
