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“Come on.” She runs her eyes up and down me. “Let’s at least get you changed. That might start to help you feel a little bit better…”
I doubt it; any movement makes me want to throw up again, but I’ve lost the strength to fight with her. I take the clothes shegives me and dress while trying to keep my head steady. Luckily, I manage to succeed in a way that I only throw up one more time before we have to go.
The drive to the doctor’s office is a painful one. The movement of the car isn’t fun, jolting my stomach all over the place. I really hope whatever the helliswrong with me, I can get some meds or something for it to make this go away.
Although I’m pretty sure I would have been better off just being left at home to deal with this on my own. I already miss the iciness of the bathroom floor.
Mom sorts an appointment as I take my seat in the waiting room hell. It seems to be forever we’re in there, with people coming and going, until finally, it’s my turn, and I’m called in.
The doctor listens carefully as I explain my symptoms, then proceeds to run some tests on me: blood pressure, a urine test, an ECG—the works. It all seems a little unnecessary to me when I clearly just have a virus or a bug of some kind.
But whatever.
Eventually, I can see the doctor’s expression turn into a frown, which, I have to admit, does make my heart race a lot faster. I wasn’t planning on getting any actual bad news here. My anxiety runs amok while I mentally try and prepare myself for the worst.
Not that I have any idea what the worst might be.
“Miss Anderson, I think I know what’s been causing your sickness.”
“You do?”
I tuck my hands in my sleeves and fold my arms protectively around myself. Oh God, I’m not going to be able to protect myself from anything though, am I? Whatever this man says could throw my life off kilter completely. Everything that I’ve been going through might end up not meaning a thing…
“From all your test results here…” I squeeze my eyes closed. “You’re pregnant.”
Pregnant?
What the hell?
What the hell am I going to do now?
Chapter 22—Alex
I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.
It feels like I’m reaching the end of my Goddamn tether.
“Alex, what is going on with you?” Benjamin moans as he joins me in the dressing room after practice. “You werenotyourself out there. You haven’t been playing well for ages; what the hell is happening? Is it because of what happened the other night?”
I shake my head with irritation. “I already told you it has nothing to do with the drama at Vipers. Jax was drunk and we eventually got him out of there. No damage done.”
Well, there wassomedamage. That security guard is probably still bruised, and the photos in the paper certainly weren’t great. I was the only one put in the spotlight again, with all kinds of speculation, which I didn’t like.
But mostly, no damage was done.
“I know that sucked for you, Alex, but at the same time, we’ve all got to move forward as a team. We’ve got to find a way to keep on going, okay? Or we are going to keep on losing and screwing up.”
This isnota conversation that I want to be having.
I don’t like being called out, but Benji is right. I’m certainly not the team player I’m supposed to be.
“Don’t worry. It isn’t like any of us blame you…” I glance up to give him a knowing look. Iknoweveryone blames me, and why wouldn’t they? Benjamin averts his gaze. “Look, Alex, we’re allon your side, and we all want to do whatever you need to get you back on track. Without you being on track, we’re all messy, you know? We’re all over the place.”
See? That’s the pressure I can’t handle. Knowing that everyone is relying on me makes my head spin. I can’t handle it. I usually love that pressure. I like being the star player and having the team rely on me, but while I’m sinking like this, it’s too much.
My head falls into my hands.
Truth be told, there’s really only one thing that would clear my mind and make me feel better. I need to see one person to get rid of this fog in my brain, but she’s made it very clear that she needs a break from all of this. She’s gone back home, she’s done with New York City, and who knows when she’s coming back again.
