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Everythingokay?
Rosalie:
Allgood.
Hedidn’t reply this time, andRosalielaid back on the bed, letting the weight of everything she was feeling pin her down.
AllRosaliewanted was to get out of her head about the wholeJackhaving a kid situation.Shedidn’t want to think about it anymore.Shedidn’t want to think about what it meant about how he felt—or didn’t feel—about her, about how she’d opened up to him like an idiot and he hadn’t even told her that he had a daughter.Shetried working, answering emails, making phone calls.Buther heart wasn’t in it, something she’d been dealing with more and more lately.Itwasn’t that she didn’t like working forCarrie.Itjust felt…meaningless, sometimes.Whichsounded shitty, and she wasn’t ungrateful for the job she had, but sometimes she wondered if she’d be happier, more fulfilled doing something else.Shehad no idea what, though.
Whenwork failed to distract her from her churning thoughts, she ran a bath and grabbed a book, using a red-tipped match from the little matchbook to light a couple of the candles.Andwhile the book, a historical romance with dukes and duchesses and balls and making out in carriages, was good, it didn’t absorb her the way she needed it to.Maybebecause she kept picturing herself as the heroine, andJackas the duke.Notexactly helping her with her goal of not thinking aboutJack.
Outof the tub, she dried off and pulled on a pair of matching cozy sweats and twisted her damp hair into a messy bun on top of her head.Sittingon the bed, she let her gaze drift out the window, where the setting sun was painting everything in hues of pumpkin and lavender.Itwas a moment of peace in what had been a surprisingly turbulent afternoon.
Andstill.Shecouldn’t seem to shut her brain off.Sheordered room service, not wanting to go down to the restaurant and see anyone, and ate it sitting on her bed, watching an old vampire movie she’d found on one of the streaming services.
Butnothing worked, and finally, once she’d eaten and the sun had disappeared, leaving behind a velvet sky painted with gently twinkling stars, she gave up on handling her swirling thoughts alone.Sheslipped her shoes on, poked her head out of the door, and then padded down the hallway toward the hotel’s biggest suite, located at the very back of the sprawling mansion.Shewaved atChris, one ofCarrie’smain bodyguards, who nodded at her from his position in the hallway, and then knocked onCarrie’sdoor.Itopened a second later,Carrie’stall, willowy frame appearing in the doorway.Herblond curls were pulled back in a loose braid, and she was wearing a pair of pajamas with cats all over them.
“Hey,” she said, frowning slightly. “Ithought you had plans with your hot cop tonight.Whathappened?Didhe have to work?”
Rosalieshook her head, and to her absolute horror, she felt her throat thicken and her eyes start to sting.No.No.Shewasnotgoing to cry over this.
“Oh, shit,” saidCarriesoftly. “You’dbetter come in.”Rosaliestepped inside, andCarrieshut the door behind them, sealing them away in her gorgeous suite.Thewood floors gleamed beneath her feet, strewn with colorful, plush area rugs.Theliving area had a plaid-upholstered sectional that faced a massive stone fireplace with floor-to-ceiling windows on either side.Thebedroom door was ajar, givingRosaliea glimpse of a king-sized four-poster bed complete with embroidered curtains.Anantique-looking chandelier hung from the ceiling in the living room, which stretched beyond the fireplace and to the back of the space, where there were two enormous bookshelves laden with books, a desk facing another window, and a set of armchairs.Amassive gift basket sat on the desk, and without waiting or asking,Carriecrossed the space and ripped open the cellophane, pulling out boxes of chocolates, fancy pretzels, and a bottle of red wine.
“Iwas looking for an excuse to dig into this, soI’mglad you came by,” she said.Shedipped into the bedroom and returned with two wine glasses.Theysettled onto the sectional sofa, facing the softly crackling fire. “So…what’s going on?” she asked, effortlessly opening the bottle of wine and pouring them each a glass.Rosalietook the oneCarrieoffered to her, curling into the sofa and tucking her legs beneath her.
“He…has a kid.”
Sayingit out loud didn’t make it feel any less surreal.
“And?”Carrieasked, one eyebrow arched.Shesipped at her wine. “He’sa single guy in his late thirties.He’sbound to have a past.”
“Iknow.It’snot the fact that he has a kid that bothers me.It’sthat he didn’t tell me.”
“Oh.Huh.Yeah…that’s…not great,” saidCarrie, her nose wrinkling.
“AndI…told him stuff.Aboutmy family, about my childhood, really personal stuff thatIdon’t really talk about with anyone becauseIthought we…”
Carrieblew out a breath. “Youthought you were, like, dating.Andthis has you feeling like he sees things differently.”
Shenodded. “Prettymuch.Ifeel like an idiot.I’musually so good at not letting myself get caught up in situations like this.”
“Youfelt a connection, and you let him see parts of you you don’t normally share.Thatdoesn’t make you an idiot.Itmakes you brave.”
Rosaliesighed and sipped her wine, letting her gaze go soft as she stared at the undulating flames. “Whydidn’t he tell me?”
Carrieshrugged. “You’llhave to ask him.Maybehe had a good reason.Maybehe just never found the right time.Or, maybe you guys aren’t on the same page.Youwon’t know for sure unless you ask.”
“Iknow.I’m…”Sheshook her head. “Idon’t do this, you know?Dating, relationships, putting myself out there.Idon’t know whatI’mdoing.Idon’t know how to do this.”
“Babe, no one does.Weall just kind of fumble our way along, hoping to find someone who’ll see the real us and not run screaming in the other direction.”
Rosalielaughed softly despite her low mood. “Ihaven’t even been hoping for that.I’vebeen perfectly content to just have my fun and not worry about connections or vulnerability or any of that shit.”
“Perfectlycontent?Really?”
“What?”
Carrieshrugged lazily. “Activelyavoiding something isn’t exactly content.Contentmenthas an ease to it.Anacceptance.There’sa peace that comes with contentment.You…well, you survive.Youhave your fun, run at the first sign of emotion, and tell yourself you’re not lonely.”
