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“Thank you so much,” I tell her before turning and walking back down the porch steps and heading for the three bedroom trailer first.
The boys and I walk across the driveway and up the front steps of the trailer. The porch on this trailer is a little larger than the rest of them. There’s enough room to put a chair I can sit in and watch the boys play during the day in the small yard right between this trailer and the one next to it. I unlock the doors and we step through the door. To my right is a larger kitchen than normal. It’s already got the appliances inside as I take in the white walls, stainless steel appliances, and new tile covering the floor. Directly to my left is the living room. Again, it’s larger than I was anticipating. There’s a light brown carpet that covers the floor and looks as if it’s brand new. The walls are white like in the kitchen. The boys and I walk down the hallway to find the three bedrooms and a bathroom.
In the master bedroom, there’s an ensuite with a large soaker tub and shower. Everything in the bathroom looks brand new like the rest of the trailer. Through the bathroom is a walk-in closet with shelves and more than enough room to hang all of my clothes. The boys go through each room with me and don’t say a word. I’m sure they’re confused as hell and don’t understand what I’m doing looking at this new house.
The last two bedrooms are large enough to make one a nursery while putting Andrew and Griffin in the other one together. The bedrooms are large with new carpeting and plenty of room for the beds and toys my children have. Not that I’m going to take everything from Anthony. He’ll still have plenty of stuff for the boys to do when they visit him. If they visit him. I’ll always leave the decision about that up to him and won’t ever take the boys away from him. The bathroom is large and I won’t have any problem getting the boys ready for bed in here. There’s one more room I see and that’s a laundry room. There’s a hookup for a washer and dryer that sit beside a counter that’s perfect to fold laundry on. I think this is the one I’m going to take. There’s no reason to even look at the other two trailers.
Making my way back outside with the boys, I lock the door and make sure it’s locked behind me. We walk back over to Elaine’s trailer and I knock on the door. She doesn’t hesitate to make her way to open the door and let us in her house.
“What did you think?” she asks, a smile on her face still.
“I’ll take the three bedroom. I didn’t even look at the two bedroom trailers. What I saw is perfect for us and that’s where I’d like to rent,” I tell her honestly.
“Sounds good. We can go over the paperwork today if you’d like and as soon as you pay, you can start to move in. I’ll need the first month’s rent plus a security deposit. You’re responsible for the internet and cable, electric, and water. There’s a dumpster at the end of the park for all residents to use. It’s emptied weekly. Our small town might not be much, but it’s my home. If there’s anything you ever need, Kasey, I’m here for you,” Elaine says as I fill out the rental application and then take my bag so I can get her the money for the deposit and first month’s rent.
I pulled a bunch of money out of my savings account a few days ago and I’ll still have enough to take the boys to dinner, get what I need for here, and do whatever else I need to.
Elaine looks over the rental application before tucking it in a folder. She takes back the keys for the other two trailers while letting me keep the set for the one I’m renting. After letting me know I can start moving in immediately, Elaine walks us to the door and I head out with my boys. For the first time in months, I can take a deep breath. It’s filled with pain and fear, but I can finally start to breathe easier. I’m putting plans in place and doing what I have to do for my family. Anthony and I will be living our lives separately from now on, but that’s his choice. I’m doing what I have to do for my boys’ happiness. They can’t continue to see us filled with so much tension and pain. I won’t do that to them.
The rest of the day I make all about my boys. We go to the same park we did the last time that’s close to the Phantom Bastards clubhouse. Valor meets us there and hangs out with us for a while. He even goes to lunch with us. It’s nice to catch up and hear how the kids from Slim’s club are doing. We were all so worried about Vault for the longest time, but he’s finally pulling his shit together and on the right path. Leading the new club is helping him have a purpose and not lose himself in the grief he’s felt since their dad was killed.
After having lunch with Valor, I head for the storefront where I’ll be opening up my bookstore. The boys and I go inside and we spend hours cleaning and looking around at where I eventually want everything to go. By the time I’m done cleaning there, I’m hot, sweaty, and ready for a hot shower and bed. Grabbing takeout from the diner on the way home, the boys and I will have a lazy night at home before I start getting busy tomorrow. I have to pack up everything I’m taking with us and still work on the bookstore to get things ready for it to open. Bull and I are going to sit down in a few days to order my inventory so that it can start arriving and Venom is going to meet me there to figure out where I want all the shelves and tables to go inside. I’m going to be busier than ever before and I can’t wait.
Chapter Eight
Shield
PREGNANT. FUCKING PREGNANT. I can’t believe Kasey is pregnant again. That’s the only thing playing on my mind since she told me hours ago. I came straight to the clubhouse and grabbed a bottle of Jack to take to my room with me. No one said a word as I headed out of the common room or tried to stop me. Not only because my vibe is telling everyone to back off, but because no one wants to talk to me with everything going on with Kasey. They don’t want me to go off on them again when I refuse to answer their questions or bite their heads off because they try to butt into my personal life. Yes, I’m used to everyone being in everyone else’s business. It’s part of growing up in the club. However, this time, I don’t want anyone involved. Not until we know what’s going on for sure.
Though, I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on considering Kasey told me she’s done if I walk out the door. I didn’t stop or try to fight for my family. Her calling me a coward was right. In this situation, I am absolutely being nothing more than a coward. If I weren’t, I’d have stayed and talked to Kasey about everything and tried to figure something out. So, now I’m going to stay in my room, get drunk, and not talk to anyone. That’s exactly what I do. The bottle of Jack is over half gone before I even realize it. This shit is fucking with me and drinking is my way of coping right now.
Waking up, I rush to the bathroom and lose all the alcohol I drank last night. My head is pounding and my stomach is rolling uncontrollably. When I finally stop getting sick, I strip down and hop in the hottest shower I can stand. Instead of washing off and getting out to get ready for the day, I drop my head and place my hands against the shower tiles in front of me. The hot water helps ease the tension in my muscles and clears my head. Not enough to get rid of the pounding from the massive hangover, but from all the thoughts swirling through my mind. For the first time in months it feels as if I can breathe fully without the weight of the world sitting on my chest. No, I still have no clue what to do about Kasey, but I’ll figure it out. She’s already said she’s done with me so there’s not much else I can do at this point.
Maybe that was my goal. To get Kasey to end things with me so I don’t feel like a giant asshole for leaving her. I honestly don’t know. Finally, I get out of the shower and dry off. Walking into my room in nothing more than the towel I wrapped around my waist, I stop short when I find Clarissa in my bed. She’s naked and staring at me with lust filled eyes. Her hand is between her legs and the second she sees me, a moan escapes her.
“What the fuck are you doin’ in here?” I yell out, my voice echoing off the walls in my room.
“Baby, you know you want me. I heard you in the shower and decided to wait for you in bed instead of joinin’ you,” she purrs, moving her fingers even faster than she already was.
I stomp to my door and yank it open. I know it was locked last night when I came in here. I don’t ever leave my door unlocked. None of us do. The club girls are fucking ridiculous and this is the type of shit they’d pull just because they want more than the guys are willing to give them.
“Otter! Hawkeye!” I yell out, hoping they hear me in the common room as I remain as far away from Clarissa as I can.
No matter what Kasey said last night, I’m not going to fuck anyone. Things aren’t settled between us and no decisions have been finalized. Fucking someone right now would be cheating on her and that’s not who I am.
“What’s goin’ on, Shield?” Otter asks, walking up to me and stopping just outside my door.
“How the fuck did this skank get in here? Again. I just came out of the shower and found her in my bed. I don’t fuckin’ want her or anythin’ to do with her. Vikin’ said somethin’ about makin’ a phone call and her more than likely bein’ fired from Wild Things. She’s actin’ as if I’m in a fuckin’ relationship with her and I’m not,” I answer him, Clarissa moaning behind me as I keep my eyes off of her.
“I don’t know how she keeps gettin’ in here, but she’s about to be banned. Permanently. Vikin’ did fire her last night and she was told she’s no longer allowed on any club property or inside any of our businesses here in town. As far as he knew, Brantley followed her out of town after she packed up her shit. I don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on with her,” Hawkeye answer me, his voice showing how angry he is.
“We’ll get her out of here before anyone shows up and sees somethin’. This situation isn’t gonna help things with Kasey. She isn’t on the compound right now which is a good thing. I saw her headin’ out of town on my way back here,” Otter says before they enter my room and head straight for the bed.
Neither man lets Clarissa get her clothing or anything else as they drag her from my bed and out of my room. I get as far from my door as I possibly can so she can’t touch me with her fucking nasty hands.
“Why are you letting them do this to me, Shield? You love me just like I love you!” Clarissa screams out as she tries to stop them from dragging her away from me. “Why aren’t you fighting to keep me at your side? You know we’re together. You don’t need that stupid, fat bitch Kasey or those fucking brats she had. I bet they aren’t even yours!”
“That’s enough!” I yell out, snapping at this skank talking about Kasey and my boys. “Kasey is more of a woman than you’ll ever fuckin’ be. She’s not a desperate slut showin’ up where she’s not fuckin’ wanted. And I know those boys are mine because I’m the only man Kasey’s ever been with. I bet you can’t count on your fuckin’ fingers and toes how many you’ve been with. We’re not together. I don’t fuckin’ love you. And I want absolutely nothin’ to do with you. I suggest you get the fuck outta Cedar Bay and far away from here. If this shit happens again, I’ll make sure no one ever finds your fuckin’ body!”
