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“When are you movin’?” my dad asks, his voice turning cold as hell.
“As soon as I get some boxes from Valor and other businesses in town. I’m not going through anyone in the club for this. They already want to know what’s going on and I don’t want to bring them in the middle of our shit. They need to believe in Anthony and have his back so he can have theirs if anything happens,” I tell him, not sure of an exact date I’ll be moving.
“I’ll be there to help you move, baby girl. What’s goin’ on with you talkin’ to Valor? Kiera mentioned somethin’ about it when she talked to me.”
“Nothing. I’ve taken the boys close to their clubhouse and ran into him. We’ve had lunch and he was gonna help me open the bookstore if the Wild Kings didn’t want to help. Well, he was going to take it to the table with their club. Nothing is going on with him and it won’t. Anthony has my entire heart and has for as long as I can remember. I don’t want anyone else, Dad. I’m perfectly fine being single and raising my babies on my own.”
“You’re openin’ your bookstore? That’s great news, baby girl. I’m so fuckin’ proud of you. Don’t you worry about anythin’. Your mom and I have your back and we’ll help in any way we can. Do you need anythin’ for the new house?”
“I’m gonna need furniture, everything for the kitchen, and I don’t even know what else. I haven’t really allowed myself to think about that stuff. For now, I’ve just been focusing on keeping the boys happy and not letting them get caught up in this shitstorm.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to your mom and we’ll figure something out. I want to hear your voice every day, Kasey. You can come to me about anythin’ and that will never change. You just leave Anthony to me. I’ll get his ass sorted out. Are you sure you’re not lyin’ to cover for his ass?” my dad asks me, anger filling his voice which I know won’t take much to turn to rage.
“I’m not lying. I don’t think he’s fucked anyone. Though, there’s a girl at the strip club who wants him. I don’t know what’s happening though. I’ve been staying at the house or going out and doing something with the boys each day. I can’t really tell you the last time I hung out at the clubhouse with everyone. Like I said, I don’t want them having to choose sides in this. Anthony is a member and I’m nothing more than the mother of his children,” I say as more tears fall from my eyes and emotion clogs my throat.
“You’re more than the mother of his kids, baby girl. That kid is gonna get my fuckin’ boot up his ass when I see him. I love you, Kasey. Call me every day so we can get down there in time to help you move. I’m gonna bring Glock with me to help lift the heavy shit. You can spend time with your mom and let her spoil you rotten until I do,” my dad says, letting me hear the smile in his voice.
“I love you too, Dad. Tell Mom I love her and I’ll see you guys soon. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I tell him as I hang up the phone.
I stay sitting on the bed for a few minutes and try to get my emotions under control. My music starts playing through my phone again and the tears only fall harder once again as our song plays. Forever Girl by Jon Langston plays and I remember the first time Anthony played it for me.
I was sitting in the yard at the very edge of the compound property. Anthony was out on a date and it broke my heart. He’s a few years older than me and I can’t blame him for wanting to be with girls his own age. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt me any less though. I have loved him for as long as I can remember. Anthony has always been there for me. When I’ve needed a shoulder to cry on, a friend to talk to, or help with anything he’s always been there for me. Now he’s got girls hanging all over him on a constant basis. Most of the older boys involved with the club do. Jameson is the same way when it comes to girls. It hurts Zoey as much as I hurt when the boys go out with girls. But neither one of us says anything to them because they deserve to live their lives as they want to. So, when I know he’s going out, I tend to be away from the clubhouse. This field has become my safe haven from everyone. I don’t want to see anyone look at me with pity in their eyes because every member of my family knows that I love Anthony and want to be with him.
Sitting all alone, I watch the sun as it begins to set in the sky. The huge, fluffy clouds stand out against the last rays of sunshine as the sky begins to darken. Tears slide silently down my face as I let the gentle breeze brush the strands of my hair across my back. I do nothing to stop the tears as I sit completely still in the field. Zoey is the only one who knows where I am and she knows to leave me alone when I’m out here.
“Kasey bear, what are you doin’ out here all alone?” I hear Anthony ask me as he comes to stand at my back.
“Why are you here, Anthony? You have a date tonight,” I answer without turning to look at him.
“No I don’t. I canceled it because there’s only one girl I want to take out on a date these days and I can’t do it yet,” he states, taking a seat next to me. “Why are you cryin’, sweet girl?”
“I’m crying because I can. Just leave me be, Anthony. Please,” I beg, still not stopping the tears from flowing.
“Dance with me, Kasey bear. I can’t take you out on a date yet because your dad asked me to wait. But, we can dance in this field as the sun sets. I’ve got my phone. Give me just a minute,” he says, pulling his phone from his pocket and doing something on it.
I don’t turn to look at him or move from the seat I took so long ago. Anthony finally finishes on his phone and sets it down in the grass right next to me. He takes my hands in his and pulls me to my feet. The song playing is one of my favorites and I’m sure he knows it because I listen to Jon Langston all the time.
“Dance with me, sweet girl,” he says, pulling me into his arms and holding me close.
Placing my hands on his shoulders, Anthony wraps his arms around my body and starts to sway us to the music. He leans down close to my ear and sings the song to me. We don’t stop dancing for a long time. Anthony must’ve put the song on repeat as it continues to play one time right after another. I place my head against his hard chest and close my eyes as we continue dancing together in the middle of the field behind the clubhouse.
Shaking my head, I clear my thoughts before standing from the bed. I turn to face the door and find Anthony standing there. He’s looking at me with the most serene look on his face. It’s not something I’ve seen on him for a long time now. I guess I’m not the only one who was remembering what it was like in the very beginning for us.
“I need to head out. It’s time for me to head to work. The boys are down for their nap. I’m sorry, Kasey,” Anthony says, hanging his head as he remains in the doorway.
“Me too. I’ll see ya around, Shield.”
With nothing more to say, I walk in the bathroom as my heart continues breaking and I shut the door softly behind me. I don’t move from the door as I listen to Anthony leave the bedroom we once shared. The tears continue to slide down my face as I lean heavily against the door and let them fall. I can’t be in this house any longer. It’s time for me to leave and start my life over again, on my own with my children. Anthony needs to do what’s best for him and I’m going to do what’s best for our kids. It’s what I’ll always do at the end of the day. With a deep breath, I get back to work after checking on the boys and making sure they’re actually sleeping.
Chapter Ten
Shield
SEEING KASEY CRYING as she listened to our song yesterday fucking broke me. She’s hurting so much and it’s all because I can’t get my head out of my ass long enough to talk to her about everything I’m feeling and thinking. I wanted to go to her and wrap her in my arms more than anything else, but I stayed in the doorway of the bedroom and didn’t go to her. I didn’t say a word to her other than to tell her I had put the boys down for their nap and then telling her I had to get to work. Before all this shit started, I would have kissed her and held her close before leaving to go to Wild Things. She would have walked me to the door and gotten one more kiss before I headed in to work. Now, we don’t touch and hardly speak at all. This shit is all on me too. I’m the one causing the distance between us and why our relationship is falling the fuck apart.
This morning, I’m sitting in the common room with a cup of coffee in front of me. It’s so early hardly anyone is awake at this point. The only ones I see are the Prospects as they clean the bar area and the club girls who are making breakfast and cleaning the kitchen and common room. Missy is no longer here and hopefully Clarissa has been removed from Cedar Bay. I don’t give a fuck about either one of them, but they need to disappear. Those girls are fucking the worst because they have no clue what’s really going on and how to remain loyal to anyone but themselves. They’re selfish and only out for what they can get to make them better than everyone else around them. We’ve all seen it plenty of times and know they’ll never change.
My phone vibrates in my pocket as I sit in the silent common room and try to think of what I want to do. What I need to do. Pulling it out, I see my dad is calling me. Taking a deep breath, I answer the call and put the phone to my ear.
