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I want to get off my bike and make my way over there to find out what’s going on, but I remain on my bike and simply watch her. For the first time in months, I see a large, genuine smile on her face. Griffin and her are laughing as Andrew joins in. The three of them are living their best life and I’m on the outside looking in. I didn’t think seeing something as simple as this would fucking gut me, but it does. Seeing my boys and girl all alone and enjoying such a simple moment like this is how it used to be between Kasey and me. Now, I’m the last to know she’s opening up a store and I don’t know how to fucking feel about that.
Pulling away from the curb, I head out of town. I miss Kasey looking up and seeing me ride past with tears in her eyes because I’ve completely fucking broken her. Andrew running up to the door to get to me is missed as I ride past the store and rev the engine. Once again, I’m fucking up and don’t even realize how bad.
Chapter Eleven
Kasey
TODAY’S GONNA BE a long fucking day. I’m spending the morning in the shop until my dad, mom, and Glock get here. They’re coming in to help me move today. However, I couldn’t just sit at the house and make sure everything is ready to go again. I’ve been through everything on a daily basis and it’s driving me insane. I’ve double checked the boxes to make sure I haven’t packed anything of Anthony’s and that I’m only taking what is the boys and mine. I’m leaving everything behind because I don’t want the memories most of it brings to me. Including most of the photos we’ve put on the walls since moving in here. Anthony can have them because I live with those memories on a daily basis. When things were actually good between us and my heart wasn’t shattering every day because Anthony is letting the distance continue to grow between us.
Parking behind the shop, I get the boys out of the SUV and head toward the back entrance with my boy’s hands in mine. Unlocking the door, we head inside after I turn on the lights. Andrew makes his way over to the toys and sits on the floor while pulling out his cars. I left the doors open going from the backroom to the front yesterday so I can clearly see him as he starts to play. Some of the inventory came in late yesterday afternoon and I’m going to start going through it today and stocking the shelves.
Letting go of Griffin’s hand, he makes his way over to his brother as I hook my phone up to the speaker I have behind the counter. Choosing some random playlist, the music begins to flow from the speaker and fill the silent shop. The last thing I’m waiting for is the sign that will hang out front. Once I get that in and it’s installed, I can officially open the doors of my store. Kiera is going to come down for a signing during the grand opening. She’s excited to help me out and will be shipping a large number of books directly here so she doesn’t have to bring them down with her. I can’t wait to see her and watch her do a signing. I’ve never been to one, but have always wanted to go.
I head for the closest stack of boxes and start to open them. I’ve got the inventory list with me as I start checking things off when I count the right number of books. When I’m done counting, I put each book back in the box so I don’t make a bigger mess in here before I can get these up on the shelf. Taking a marker I write on the box that it’s been inventoried and set it to the side. I really shouldn’t be moving these boxes with how heavy they are, but I don’t really have a choice in the matter considering I’m here on my own. Maybe I should wait until my dad gets here. I know he’ll help me move things around.
“What the hell is goin’ on here?” I hear Anthony’s harsh voice behind me.
Whirling around, I find him standing in the doorway leading to the storeroom. He’s looking around the shop and taking every small detail in.
“Shield, you scared the hell outta me. What are you doing here?” I return, not answering his question.
“I’m here because I saw you in here last night. What are you doin’ in here, Kasey? I thought you wanted to be a stay at home mom. Now, you’re openin’ up a store of some kind. What are you gonna do with the boys while you’re here? You certainly haven’t been doin’ anythin’ with anyone from the club. So, who’s gonna watch our boys when you’re at work?” he barks out, stepping closer to me.
“The boys will be here with me. I plan on hirin’ someone to work the closin’ shift and I’ll be the one to open the store. Andrew and Griffin won’t be out late and they have an area they can play in while we’re here and I’ve got an area set up in my office for their naps. Cameras are all over the place and I can keep an eye on them no matter what I’m doing here in the shop. However, that’s none of your concern, Shield. In case you didn’t know, I have to have some kind of income coming in to take care of the boys and pay the bills. I’m not gonna ask you for money. So, the club is backing me opening up this store. I’ve done my research and put together a complete business plan. Maybe you would’ve known that if you just had a simple conversation with me. That’s something you don’t want to do these days though,” I tell him, trying to keep my voice steady and strong as the boys finally notice their dad and rush to his side.
“What you do is my concern, Kasey. It affects you and the boys so it concerns me. Do you think it’s wise to have them in here all day long while you work? Can you truly keep an eye on them?” he questions me, picking the boys up in his strong arms and holding them close.
“Yes, I can keep an eye on them. I’ve been watching them and taking care of them since the day they were born, Shield. Being here won’t be any different than if I were at home with them. I’ve got this. You go live your life the way you want and don’t worry about us,” I state, putting my hands on my hips which draws my shirt tight around my stomach.
Anthony gasps as he takes in the slight swell of my stomach where our new baby rests in peace as he or she grows bigger every day.
“Kasey, we gotta figure this shit out,” he states, his voice resigned with the knowledge that I’m not consulting him about everything I do like I would’ve in the past. “And are you really spendin’ time with Valor? Bringin’ my boys around him and shit.”
“Valor is a friend and I can spend time with whoever I want. He’s always been a friend and will continue to be one. He was willing to step up for me if this didn’t go through here. It’s more than I can say for you lately. So, again, what I do is none of your concern. I’m not asking you about the strippers and club girls you’re fucking or hanging out with,” I say as tears fill my eyes and threaten to spill over.
“I’m not fuckin’ anyone, Kasey. I haven’t had sex since the last time we were together. I’m not hangin’ out with anyone either. We need to talk and it has to happen sooner rather than later.”
“Now you wanna talk. We’ve had months to talk and you’ve done nothing but ignore me. I’ve got all of this inventory to take and put up before our dads get here to help me move. Yes, I’m moving out of the house at the compound. I’ll still be in Cedar Bay before you say anything about it. When I’m ready, I’ll let you know where I’m living. Right now, if you want to see the boys, you can text me and either pick them up from here or I’ll drop them off at the clubhouse. You can come out to get them so I don’t have to go inside,” I tell him, turning my back on him so he doesn’t see my tears.
“How did this get so fucked up, sweet girl?” he questions, his voice almost a whisper.
“I don’t know. All I know is you’re not happy with me and are no longer in love with me. That’s okay. I’ll learn to live without you. I love you, Shield. I truly do. But, I can’t live in the house that’s supposed to be our home and know that you won’t walk through that door. Or that if you do come there, you’ll sleep on the couch and ignore me instead of talking. We used to be able to talk about everything we were feeling, thinking, or going through. Now, we’re nothing more than complete strangers,” I say, my voice clogging with emotion as I hear Anthony move behind me. “Can you please leave so I can get back to work?”
“Do you want me to take the boys with me? I can spend the day with them while you’re here. Once you’re done, I can meet you or your dad can get them from me,” he asks, coming closer but not touching me.
“If you want. Do you have your bike?”
“No. I’m in the truck today. Their seats are already in there and I can take them to the clubhouse. Maybe get them some lunch before we go there. When are our parents supposed to be here?”
“I don’t know. My dad said he’d call when they get close,” I answer him, turning so I can tell my boys goodbye.
Taking Griffin from Anthony’s arms, I hold him close and give him a kiss on his chubby little cheek. He snuggles into me and wraps his arms around my neck. I close my eyes as I hold him close. Passing him back to Anthony, I take Andrew and give him a big hug. Kissing his cheek, I don’t let him go.
“Love Mama,” he says, giving me a kiss on my cheek.
“Love you, baby boy. I love both of you so much,” I say as a tear finally spills over and rolls down my cheek.
Andrew wipes it away with his little finger before pressing both of his hands against my cheek.
