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The three of us head inside and I find Glock and Melody getting the boy’s dinner ready for them. Once we all have plates of food in front of us, the boys start talking a mile a minute while eating pizza and garlic bread. We all pretend as if this is normal and our entire lives haven’t just been uprooted and changed in the blink of an eye. Anthony’s parents and mine stay until the boys are in bed before they head to the clubhouse. They’ll be staying there while they’re in town. For the second time all day long I’m completely alone and I have no clue what to do with myself. So, I wander around the trailer and make sure all the doors and windows are locked before making my way to my room. Leaving the door open, I quickly change for bed and slide between my new blankets. Sleep doesn’t claim me as I lay awake most of the night just staring at nothing.
Chapter Twelve
Shield
KASEY MOVED OUT almost a week ago and I still haven’t managed to see my dad or Rage. I haven’t been staying at the clubhouse, choosing to go home and be completely alone. I’m sure they know it’s where I am, but neither one have made an attempt to see me. I can’t really blame them. Not when they were here to help Kasey move out. She fucking surprised me when I first walked in the house after dropping the boys off to her. As she said, Kasey left almost everything. All the pictures minus a few remain on the walls. A photo from Kasey’s maternity photoshoot hangs on the wall over the fireplace. Everything in the house is completely clean as if Kasey and the boys will be returning after a short trip.
I spent hours in the boy’s rooms. Not only did she leave half their things for me, she made sure everything was spotless. I’ve got clothes and toys for the boys here when I have them. There’s bath stuff in the bathroom across from their bedrooms. The only room you can truly see a difference in is our bedroom and bathroom. All of Kasey’s things are gone. Her clothes aren’t mingled in with mine in the closet and nothing of hers litters the counter in the bathroom. I open the drawers of the dresser and everything has been taken out. My dresser is still stuffed full as I open the drawers there. Our bed has been made and when I sit down on it, I don’t smell anything of Kasey. The orange blossom she usually smells like doesn’t float up to surround me from the blankets. It’s simply the laundry detergent she’s always used for our clothing. Every single trace of her has been removed from the house. If it weren’t for the pictures, I wouldn’t even know she stepped foot in this house.
Today, I have to show my face. I’m not a damn coward and I refuse to hide from Rage and my dad. After taking a quick shower and getting ready for the day, I make my way to the clubhouse. Parking in my usual spot, I quickly shut the engine of my bike off and see my dad’s truck parked next to Rage’s in the parking lot. They’re still here and haven’t gone to see Kasey and the boys yet. With my head held high, I get off my bike and make my way inside the clubhouse. The door barely shuts behind me before a fist is slamming in my face just under my eye.
Looking up, Rage is standing in front of me. His chest is heaving with the anger filling him as he glares at me.
“You fuckin’ hurt my baby girl. You’ve broken her heart and made her believe she has no one she can rely on or turn to. All because you’re fuckin’ bored and she doesn’t want to come between the club and you. I want to fuckin’ beat the absolute shit out of you right now. However, I’ve promised your dad and my daughter that I won’t. So, that’s my one fuckin’ hit and for now, I’ll leave you alone,” Rage grinds out as my dad steps up next to him.
He shakes his head at me and doesn’t say a word as they both turn and walk back to the table where our moms are sitting. I make my way over and join them. Vanessa brings out a bag of ice for my face and a cup of coffee shortly after I sit down. Thanking her, I put the ice on my eye and take a tentative sip of my coffee. It’s just hot enough where I won’t burn my mouth drinking it.
“Let me have it,” I say, looking between our parents.
My mom refuses to look at me. She keeps her attention on everything around but me. I can’t really blame her. For a few years, it was just my mom and me. When my dad entered my life, I became his little shadow. Now, I’ve disappointed and hurt two of the people in my world who I never wanted to do that to.
“What the fuck happened, Shield?” Rage asks me, folding his arms on the table in front of him and leaning toward me.
“I don’t know. It’s so fuckin’ hard to explain. I feel like everythin’ in my relationship with Kasey is fuckin’ stale. Like we do the same shit every damn day and nothin’ ever changes. Our sex life is borin’ and routine too. It’s like I’m livin’ that fuckin’ movie where the guy has the same day over and over again. I can barely explain it to the four of you. How am I supposed to sit down and talk to Kasey about this shit?” I ask, looking at them all in turn.
“Did you even fuckin’ try to talk to her? Or to take her out on a date? Do anythin’ to just be spontaneous or do somethin’ different? I’m not about to talk about my daughter’s sex life, but I’m sure if you just talked to her about spicin’ it up, she would have done somethin’ to make it happen,” Keegan says as she looks at me.
“No. I didn’t think to do any of that. I just gave up. I stopped goin’ home. When I did, I slept on the couch instead of gettin’ in bed with her. Then, I simply stopped talkin’ to her for any reason. The main thing we talk about is the boys. And it’s mainly through messages,” I answer honestly.
“This could’ve all been prevented if you’d taken your head outta your fuckin’ ass for a few seconds and opened your damn mouth to talk to her,” my dad growls, his voice hard and cold again. “Anthony, you're my son and I’ll always love ya. Right now, the sight of you makes me want to kick your ass. The only reason I’m leavin’ you alone is because of Kasey and my grandsons. What happened yesterday when you dropped the boys back off to her?”
“I told her we needed to talk sooner rather than later. We’re gonna set somethin’ up to sit down and talk. She doesn’t want me to know where she’s stayin’ right now though. I apologized to her and told her if she or the boys need anythin’ to call or message me. I’m not gonna ignore her anymore or just let this shit keep festerin’. No matter what happens between us, I’ll do my best to make it right. Even if we don’t get back together. I do love Kasey despite what everyone thinks. Kasey has always been my person. The one I’d do anythin’ for. I know I’m not showin’ it right now, but it’s still the truth,” I tell them, getting upset instead of pissed off for the first time since all this started.
“And what about the new baby? Have you been to the doctor or anything with her?” my mom finally asks, still not looking at me.
“No, I haven’t. That’s one of the things we need to talk about. I’ll love this little one just like I love my boys. Do we need a baby right now? No, we don’t. However, it’s happenin’ and there’s nothin’ I can do to change that. I want to be there when our son or daughter is born and go to the appointments with Kasey like I did with our boys. I’ll message her in a little bit and make sure she knows I want to be there. Yesterday was the first time I even saw her stomach and the baby bump where our little one is,” I answer, looking at my mom as she finally looks in my direction.
“Get this fuckin’ talk taken care of,” Rage grinds out, his teeth clenched as he continues to glare at me. “The longer you drag this shit out, the more my baby girl hurts. And I can’t stand the idea of her livin’ where she is on her fuckin’ own with our grandsons. It’s not fuckin’ safe. Now, what’s goin’ on with this fuckin’ stripper all over your nuts?”
“She’s been fired and supposed to be out of Cedar Bay. The last time she was supposed to be gone from here, she showed back up and I found her in my fuckin’ bed when I came out of the shower. I was hungover and didn’t fuckin’ touch her. We saw a club girl give her a key to my room so she could get in. I don’t want her and never fuckin’ did. That bitch is nasty and thought we were in some type of relationship or some shit,” I answer them honestly.
“Did anyone actually follow her out of town this time to make sure she’s gone and won’t be comin’ back?” my dad asks, his voice pissed that this bitch pulled one over on us.
“I think Brantley, I mean Kountry, did. I stayed here to deal with the club girl who gave up the key. She was just as fuckin’ crazy as Clarissa. She did get followed out of town and warned that if she comes back or one of us sees her that we’ll make sure no one finds her body,” I tell them as more people come in the common room and greet our parents.
“I want this shit handled, Anthony. And why the fuck did you never make Kasey your ol’ lady?” my dad questions, his voice loud enough for everyone in the room to hear him.
“There wasn’t time. If it wasn’t somethin’ goin’ on with the club or some shit, then one of the Prospects was gettin’ patched in or someone else was claimin’ an ol’ lady. When the fuck was I supposed to do it?” I return, looking around the room, waiting for anyone to say anything to me. “I’ve had her rag for almost a fuckin’ year. It wasn’t a matter of me not wantin’ to claim her, the timin’ was never fuckin’ right.”
“That’s a bullshit excuse if I ever fuckin’ heard one,” Rage growls out, his voice also raised so everyone can hear. “If you truly wanted to claim my baby girl, you would’ve made it fuckin’ happen. Just because you have a rag doesn’t mean shit. It’s about the fuckin’ follow through. Do you think any of us waited to claim our women? Or made one excuse after another? No, we fuckin’ didn’t. We claimed them because it’s what we wanted to do. The men here in this club claimed their ol’ ladies because it’s what they wanted to do. They didn’t wait for the shit in the club to be done or make sure no one else was gettin’ patched in bein’ claimed. Havin’ her rag for almost a year tells me you really had no intention of followin’ through with claimin’ her.”
“It’s not a fuckin’ excuse, Rage. I’m tellin’ you it just never felt right. The timin’ was off and I don’t want to take away from anyone else. So, it just didn’t happen. Now, I don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on and there’s no point in talkin’ about this shit,” I respond, getting angry because I know there was never any reason for me not to claim Kasey. Rage is right and it pisses me off.
“You dropped the fuckin’ ball a lot when it comes to Kasey,” my dad adds in, staring me down. “She’s one of the best women I know and there’s no reason for her to feel the way she is right now. And not a single one of you are makin’ any attempt to keep her close. You’re lettin’ her pull away and stay separate from the club. You all grew up like fuckin’ cousins and there’s no fuckin’ excuse for any of this shit. She’d rather turn to Valor and the fuckin’ Phantom Bastards than ask any of you for a damn thing. How does that make you all fuckin’ feel? I thought this shit ended when Brick and Ghost needed to pull their heads out of their ass with Autumn. Instead I find out a girl most of you grew up with is on her own and feels like she has no one to fuckin’ turn to. I’m done with this shit!”
My dad stands from the table and leaves the clubhouse. The door slams shut behind him as he makes his way out of here to go somewhere else. Rage doesn’t take long to follow him. He stands from the table and looks around the room.
“I watched most of you here grow up. You all have a special place in my heart and always will. Right now, I don’t wanna see a single one of you. And don’t bother contactin’ my daughter. If she wasn’t about to open her bookstore, I’d be bringin’ her home with me. I don’t want her near any of you. I’m gonna talk to Vault and Valor to make sure one of them can keep an eye on her and the kids. You all better fuckin’ figure out how to make this shit right with my baby girl,” Rage says, anger filling his voice as he looks around the common room. “Keegan, I love you. I’m gonna go with Glock. We’ll be back later on. Here’s the keys to the truck if you and Melody wanna go see Kasey and the kids.”
