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I watch on as Rage follows behind my dad and leaves the clubhouse. The door doesn’t slam behind him like it did with my dad. Instead, the gentle click of it shutting echoes in the now silent common room. No one’s saying a word as I remain seated with my mom and Keegan.
“We all fucked up,” I almost whisper, regret and guilt filling me.
“You did. My baby girl doesn’t make friends easy. She never has. She’s always looked to you guys as her best friends and closest family. Now, she doesn’t feel as if she has that. It’s gutting her to stay away from everyone, but she feels as if it’s the only choice to make in this situation. You’re a member of the club and she sees herself as no one. Not an ol’ lady or anythin’ close to one. She’s your girlfriend and nothin’ more than that. Or your baby mama. That’s not a good feeling to have, Anthony. It’s one that’s been eating away at her for a long time and she said absolutely nothing to anyone here or anywhere else. I don’t want to see her lose her family or you, Anthony, but if Valor is someone that can make her happy, then I’m all for them being together. It’s all about what she wants and that’s all I’m gonna say on the matter,” Keegan says as she stands from the table with tears in her eyes.
We all watch on as she makes her way to the kitchen and doesn’t say a word to anyone at all. Now, I’m sure it’s my mom’s time to say what she’s gotta say about everything going on. She’s been very quiet about everything up till now and I can’t wait to hear what she’s gonna say to everyone here. My mom is usually very quiet and level headed, but when she’s pissed no one is safe from her wrath.
“I’m not gonna talk about your relationship with Kasey, son. I love you. All of you. Even the newest additions to our family. However, you have let down one of your own and that’s not okay. We’re all ready to bring her home just like we were with Autumn. And we didn’t know she had ties to the club before Tank filled us all in. Kasey has been around longer than most of you here. Her dad brought her in and away from her mom when she was nothing but a toddler. If anything, she should be leading all of you. Instead, you let her withdraw and not confide in anyone here. I don’t give a fuck what’s been said between Anthony and you guys because she wasn’t able to hear it. She doesn’t know if you’ve stood up for her or said you’d have her back. What she knows is the club can’t be divided and she’d rather step away then think or feel that you won’t have Anthony’s back. You all just let her fucking do it. I don’t want to see any of you at her grand opening or try to find out where she’s staying now. I can’t stop you from going to the bookstore, but I will be there. If one of you fucking says a damn thing to hurt her, I’ll fucking step in and say something,” my mom says, her voice hard and cold as she stands from the table and leaves the room to go be with Keegan.
Not a single one of us moves as we all process what’s been said by our parents. I look around the room knowing I’m the one to blame for all this shit. It’s a heavy burden sitting on my shoulders as I meet everyone’s eyes. The thought of Valor being with Kasey makes my fucking skin crawl. He won’t ever be with her if I have anything to say about it. I know I don’t have that right at this time, but I’ll make sure he knows to back the fuck off without it starting a war between our clubs.
“We need to fix this with Kasey. She’s not ready to let us back in yet, but she will be. I don’t think givin’ her time is the right thing to do though. What I do know is that she’s been there for every fuckin’ one of us at one time or another. We did her wrong and I’ll be the first one to step up and make it right,” Viking says as he looks around the room. “And I agree with them. If Valor can make her happy when we’ve done shit so horribly wrong to her, then I’ll stand back and make sure it happens. Shield, you’ll always be my brother, but it’s time to put Kasey and those kids first.”
“She’s pregnant again,” I say, not sure if anyone is really gonna hear me with how quiet my voice is.
“You know for sure she’s pregnant?” Vanessa asks me.
“Kasey wouldn’t fuckin’ lie about that shit!” I bark out, my voice echoing off the walls.
“That’s not what I’m saying, Shield. What I’m saying is has she been to the doctor and had it verified? Does she know how far along she is? I know Kasey wouldn’t lie about that or anything if we’re all being honest here,” Vanessa says as Venom wraps an arm around her.
“As far as I know she’s been to the doctor. I know for a fact she’s pregnant. Saw the swell of her stomach myself. She’s carryin’ another one of my babies and this is how I’m treatin’ her. If somethin’ happens to her or the baby, I’ll never forgive myself,” I state as I look around the room. “If somethin’ happens to our baby, I know I’ll lose any chance of makin’ things right with her if that’s what we decide to do.”
No one says anything as I look around the room and remain in my seat. We all stay quiet while looking around at one another. The only sound in the clubhouse is from the kitchen where my mom and Keegan are slamming things around. I know they won’t be making a meal for anyone with how pissed off they are. They just need to be away from us and on their own for a while. I’m sure it won’t be long before they make their way to Kasey’s to spend time with her instead of being here with us. I don’t see them spending a lot of time at the clubhouse with us.
Chapter Thirteen
Kasey
I’VE BEEN LIVING in the trailer for just over a week now. While I’m getting used to being on my own with the boys, it’s been harder than I thought it would be. Not because I’m on my own or anything. It’s because living here means I have no security. The locks on the flimsy doors aren’t going to keep anyone out if they really want to get inside the trailer. Plus, I’ve grown up having members of the Wild Kings around me. The men have always made sure we’re protected and safe no matter what’s going on. Now, I don’t have that layer of security. Everything I’ve grown up with is gone. It’s just my boys and me and I have to be okay with that. I made the decision to leave Anthony because of everything going on and not stay in the clubhouse on the opposite side where Autumn used to stay. So, I’ve gotta get used to being on my own.
So far, I haven’t met any of my neighbors. I just haven’t ventured out to meet them. I’ve seen them out and about as they come and go from the trailer park. It seems like there’s mainly women living here. That kind of makes me feel a little better because I’m not surrounded by men. However, it also means there are only women here if something goes on and we need help. It’s kind of a toss-up living here. I’ll take what I can get for now.
My parents, Glock, and Melody have been here to spend time with us daily. They spend hours here and help me do anything I have to get done before heading to the shop in order to get work done there so I can open it up. I’m still waiting on some inventory to come in. While I wait for that, I’ve been cleaning the shelves and putting up everything I’ve already gotten delivered and checked in. My dad and Glock have been doing the heavy lifting for me. Yes, I got yelled at by them for moving boxes of books because I’m pregnant. So, they move them around and climb the ladder for me when I want things put up on the higher shelves in the store. I’m honestly glad for their help because I hate climbing ladders for any reason. It’s the only drawback of my shop but I’ll get used to it. I have no choice in the matter.
Anthony has taken the boys for a while every single day so I can work in the shop. They spend time with him at the clubhouse or wherever he takes them for the day and then he brings them back to me. We’ve been meeting at the shop since I still haven’t told him where I live. I guess you could say he’s been trying to make an attempt at getting along better. When we meet for him to take or bring back the boys, he always wants to have small conversations now. I usually give him one word answers if I can. The only time I don’t is if it involves the boys and something going on with them. He’s even asked me about doctor’s appointments I have coming up and if he can go with me. I don’t have a problem with him showing up, but he can’t be there one time and then not the next. So far he’s proving that’s not how he’s going to be with the boys. I’m just hoping our new little peanut gets the same treatment from him.
Valor stopped over to see our parents yesterday. It’s been a long time since he saw them and my mom invited him to stay for dinner. I don’t know what game she’s playing, but I have a feeling it’s her trying to make me see that there are other men out there who are single and worthy of being with me. My dad and Glock weren’t too happy with him staying for dinner or my mom sitting us next to one another at the table. I just laughed and got through the night the best I could. Valor is a good guy. He’s a friend and has been there for me over the last few weeks. That’s all he’s ever gonna be though. My heart belongs to one man and that’s Anthony. I don’t see it ever changing. Anthony has been my person for so long and that’s not something you simply get over in a few days or weeks. Plus, I have my kids to focus on and opening up the shop. That’s what’s important to me right now.
“Mama,” Andrew calls out, his voice filled with sleep as he comes in the living room.
“Hey, baby boy. Did you have a good nap?” I ask him as he climbs up in my lap and lays his head on my shoulder.
Andrew nods his head yes before promptly closing his eyes again and snuggling into me. My phone is sitting next to us on the arm of the couch as it begins vibrating. Looking down, I see a message from Anthony.
Anthony: I was wondering if I could get the boys today. Maybe keep them overnight. I’m not working tonight and thought you could get a full night’s sleep or something. If you don’t want me to, that’s okay.
Picking up my phone, I try to figure out what to say to him. There’s no reason I wouldn’t let Anthony take the boys overnight. He’s their dad.
Me: Of course you can take the boys overnight. I told you I wasn’t going to keep the boys from you and I meant it. If you want to keep them overnight, there’s no reason you can’t. The only time I would ever say maybe is if one of them has an early appointment the next day. But you can take them to the doctors just like I can. So, there’s no reason you can’t have them.
Anthony: Where do you want to meet?
Me: Can we meet at the diner? I’m not working in the shop today.
Anthony: Are you ever going to let me know where you’re living?
Me: I honestly don’t know. There’s a lot of hurt, Shield. Right now, I’m still processing everything and trying to find a new routine in my new life. I don’t have a ton of people at my back like you do.
