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I’m so confused with how he’s acting toward me lately. There isn’t a time we talk or message that he’s not calling me sweet girl. I don’t know what it means though. We still haven’t talked or spent any time together to start a long conversation. It’s still definitely needed, but I can’t do anything until we both have the time needed to make it happen.
Walking inside, I get checked in before sitting down in one of the many chairs filling the waiting room. Anthony remains at my side the entire time. He doesn’t leave me for a second as we take our seats and wait to be called back. Doc will perform her exam and then have the tech come in for the ultrasound. When I come back in for my next appointment, I’ll find out the results of the ultrasound. If there’s anything wrong, Doc will immediately call me in and not make me wait.
“How’s the shop comin’?” Anthony asks as we sit together.
We’re so close our legs are touching and it’s been a long time since I’ve had any physical contact with Anthony. A thrill goes through me and it sets my already raging hormones on fire. Being pregnant sucks when you can’t have sex. I’m so fucking horny and there’s nothing I can do about it. Well, I mean, I’ve taken care of it myself but it’s just not the same as having a man give you what you want. For me, it’s not the same as having Anthony buried deep inside and making me feel sexier than I’ve ever felt in my life.
“It’s coming along. Your dad and my dad have been helping me move the boxes and stock the shelves. They caught me doing it myself and didn’t like that. So, if I’m at the shop, one of them are always there with me. It’s been good to have them be a part of this. Our moms have been helping me out too. And tonight a new friend is gonna show up and help us again. My parents will stay with the boys while I’m there,” I tell him honestly.
If Anthony wants to talk, I’m not going to hold back and ignore him because I’m hurt or feeling some type of way about our situation. There’s no reason for us to continue the pattern we’ve been in when we can talk and figure things out.
“Kasey,” a nurse calls out, coming to the end of the hall and waiting for me.
Anthony helps me stand from the chair and we make our way back to the exam room that doubles as an ultrasound room. I won’t have to leave after my exam and can still get everything done at once. It’s one of the many reasons I didn’t choose another doctor to take care of me through this pregnancy.
My weight is checked and the nurse takes all of my vitals. She lets me know my blood pressure is slightly elevated and she’ll make a note of it for the doctor. They don’t want to keep anything from Doc and we talk about everything no matter how embarrassing it is to talk about. If I didn’t know Doc so well, I probably wouldn’t talk to her about as much as I have through this pregnancy.
Anthony and I are led to an exam room and I take a seat on the table while Anthony pulls a chair up close to me.
“How have you been feeling? Anything you’ve noticed that you don’t usually experience?” she asks me while looking over the notes from my last appointment.
“Nothing has been out of the ordinary. I’m a little surprised that my blood pressure is elevated. That’s about the only thing I can think of. I haven’t been sick and I’ve been feeling pretty good on a daily basis. The only thing still lacking is my appetite. It’s not making me stop eating or anything like that. I simply don’t want to eat and I haven’t had any cravings at all. By now with my last two pregnancies, I was craving all sorts of weird shit,” I answer her honestly, making sure Anthony knows what’s been going on at the same time.
“Okay. And you’ve been taking your prenatal vitamins?”
“Every morning. That’s the first thing I do before heading down to make breakfast for the kids. Doc already knows about the loss of appetite. We talked about it at my last appointment. I’m not sure what else I can do other than what we’ve already discussed,” I answer keeping my attention on her and not on Anthony at my side.
“Okay. Dr. Tallman will be in shortly. She’s going to perform a quick exam and then you’ll have an ultrasound done. You don’t need to strip down or anything for today’s appointment. She’s mainly going to be listening with the doppler and measuring your stomach,” the nurse informs me before she leaves us alone in the room.
Anthony and I remain silent as we sit together. The silence isn’t exactly awkward, but it’s not comfortable either. Not when we both know there’s so much we need to talk about. However, this isn’t the time or place to have that kind of conversation. This is the time to talk about the baby and that’s it. I don’t know what to say to him though. He’s heard everything I’ve been going through with this pregnancy just now and there’s not much else to say.
“Do you want me to take the boys this weekend? I can keep them from Friday to Sunday if you want. We hired some new staff at the club and it’s been giving Viking and me more time off. I’ve been getting more days off in a row,” Anthony asks me, leaning closer to the table. “I don’t have to keep them for the entire weekend if you don’t want me to though. I’m good with just taking them overnight again.”
“Can I think about it? It will be the first time I’m away from them for an entire weekend. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to deal with that,” I answer him honestly as I turn to look at him. “I want you to see them as much as you want though. So even if I can’t let them go for the weekend, maybe you can still spend the days with them instead.”
Doc comes in and gives me the exam doing exactly as the nurse said. We get to hear the baby’s heartbeat on the doppler as it beats strong and steady, filling the room around us. Anthony looks on with amazement as he usually does. This is one of my favorite parts of being pregnant. Listening to the heartbeat and seeing the little one on the screen during an ultrasound. She tells us everything looks good and asks if we have any questions. When neither one of us speaks up, she leaves the room and sends in the ultrasound technician. I lay back on the table and pull my shirt up while lowering my pants. Anthony helps out by putting the cloth thing over my lap and tucking it into the top of my pants. Feeling his fingers against my skin is something I’ve missed more than I thought I would.
He looks at me with eyes filled with emotion. I can’t even decipher what’s going on in his eyes there’s so many different emotions flashing through them. Blinking my eyes, I look away and turn my head toward the screen where our baby will show up. Anthony rests his hand against my arm and I don’t move to separate us.
“Are you guys wanting to find out the gender today?” the technician asks us as I look at Anthony again for his response.
“Yeah. We wanna know,” he answers her, keeping his eyes on me instead of anywhere else.
I know that will change once our baby comes up on the screen, but for now I’m all he can see. Tears fill my eyes because it’s been so long since I’ve had him look at me like that. Anthony can make me feel so many emotions with a simple look. His eyes show everything he doesn’t want anyone to see if someone simply takes the time to look and see what’s being shown to them.
“Alright. I’m gonna take some measurements before anything else. As soon as I’m done with that, we’ll see how cooperative your little one wants to be today,” she says, turning on the screen as I turn back to face it.
In a matter of seconds, our baby shows up on the screen. He or she is moving all over the place and I can’t help but laugh. Anthony moves even closer to me as he gets a better look at what’s going on. The technician moves the wand and presses some buttons before repeating the process all over again multiple times. When she’s done taking the measurements, she looks at us and gives us a smile.
“Okay, Mom and Dad. Let’s see if your peanut will show us what they are,” she says, moving the wand thing around again. “It looks like you’re gonna have a little girl.”
The technician points out something on the screen, but I honestly have no clue what she’s showing us. After typing out that it’s a girl, she takes a few more pictures before letting us know she’ll print out some pictures for us to take with us.
“Can we get two sets?” Anthony asks. “I’d like to have some with me and still have Kasey have the pictures to show her family as well.”
“Of course. I’ll be back in a few minutes with them. You can get cleaned up and go to the bathroom right through that door over there,” she says, pointing to a door that’s slightly ajar on the other end of the room.
With a nod of my head, I pull the paper covering thing from me and wipe the gel stuff off my stomach. Once it’s as gone as I can get it without taking a shower, I let Anthony help me down off the table and head for the bathroom. After taking care of business, I head back out to find the ultrasound technician opening the door to come back in the room. She hands Anthony both sets of the pictures in envelopes. I take one from Anthony when he hands it over to me and we head out. I only stop long enough to make my next appointment so Anthony knows when it is. With the card in hand, Anthony and I leave the office. He walks me over to the SUV and helps me inside but doesn’t shut the door.
