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Clarissa huffs and struts away, putting that extra little bit of sway in her steps as she goes. Just before she enters the hall leading to the office and dressing room, she looks back over her shoulder at me. Clarissa gives me a wink and blows a kiss in my direction as I finally pull my eyes from her.
“Are you fuckin’ stupid, Shield? What the fuck are you playin’ at when you got Kasey and your boys at home?” he questions me, turning his full anger on me instead of Clarissa.
“We weren’t doin’ anythin’,” I say, not looking at him while answering him.
“Maybe not right this second. If I hadn’t walked up when I did, I’m sure she would’ve had your cock out and either been fuckin’ or suckin’ you,” he states, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on between Kasey and you. What I do know is you’re at the clubhouse more often than not, you hardly go home, and we rarely see Kasey unless one of the parents are in town. Your personal business is yours to deal with. I’m not about to have you start some shit here with a stripper who fucks anyone she can or hurt Kasey. We all care about Kasey. We care about you. I don’t want to plan a fuckin’ funeral because Rage kills your ass for hurtin’ his baby girl.”
“He won’t fuckin’ kill me,” I state, not even sure if my words are true at this point.
Rage is a fucking badass. When he loses control of his temper, there’s no one who can hold him back or stop him from destroying everything in his path. We’ve all seen him when he loses his shit and it’s not pretty. The people he will destroy the world for without hesitation are his wife and kids. If he gets the slightest hint that anything is going on with Kasey and me, he’d be here quicker than I could even think of hiding from him. My dad wouldn’t be far behind him either. He loves Kasey as if she were his own daughter and would choose her over me in a heartbeat. We’ve had many long talks about my future with Kasey and where I want it to go. It doesn’t always line up with how my father feels and he lets me know he’s not happy about that shit.
“Figure your shit out and don’t bring it to fuckin’ work,” Viking states before walking away from me.
Turning around, Brantley is just shaking his head at me. He doesn’t say a word because he knows his place as a Prospect. Setting my half-full beer down on the bar top, I turn and walk away. Tonight I’m playing bouncer and want to check in with everyone before the doors open for the night. Shit gets crazy in here no matter what day of the week it is. Wild Things is popular and we need to hire more staff in order to keep up with demands. I’ll have to bring it up again to Viking. But not when he’s so pissed at me. I’ll wait until this shit blows over and then talk to him.
Tonight has been long and fucking busy. There were so many fights in here tonight during the girls dancing and I hardly had a second to breathe or think. These are the nights I honestly love because it means I can’t spend time thinking about what’s going on with Kasey or if I want to fix things between us. The only thing I can focus on is work and making sure everyone has a good time. When I wasn’t busy breaking up fights in the club, I was helping Brantley behind the bar. He was getting slammed and needed the extra help. Viking was also helping wherever he could instead of doing the paperwork or watching the monitors from his office. Not that he usually remains in there for his entire shift. Viking is very hands on and doesn’t ask us to do anything he wouldn’t do himself.
After walking the girls out to the parking lot and watching them leave, I head back inside to finish locking up so I can get the fuck outta here. All I want is a hot shower and something to eat. I already know there’s no point in going home because Kasey didn’t cook tonight. Not that I was planning on going home tonight anyway. I can sleep better in my room at the clubhouse than the couch at home.
“Where you gonna be tonight?” Viking asks me as we walk through the club and make sure everything is locked up tight.
“Clubhouse,” I tell him without looking in his direction.
Viking shakes his head and grunts at my answer before leaving my side. Everyone is pissed at me and I haven’t done anything wrong. What happens between Kasey and me is between the two of us and no one else. Yes, everyone with the exception of some of the ol’ ladies have grown up with her and love her, but our relationship doesn’t involve everyone in the club. At this point, it’s just a matter of time before someone lets it slip that we’re having problems. I can almost guarantee it won’t be Kasey because she is loyal to a fucking fault. She would suffer in silence instead of running to her dad.
If there’s one thing I can say about Rage, it’s that he raised Kasey to be strong and independent. She’s taken self-defense lessons, learned how to shoot a gun, and was Rage’s shadow for most of her young life. At least until more kids started showing up and she realized she could spend time with us and have fun. Rage still made sure she went to her lessons and learned everything she could from him. I don’t know where that side of her went, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her get fired up about anything. Especially where I’m concerned. Part of me wants her to fight for me.
Walking out of Wild Things behind Viking, I lock the door after setting the alarm right inside. We walk to our bikes where Brantley is already waiting for us. He’ll follow us back to the compound as he does every night. Getting on my bike, I don’t let Viking get another word in about anything as I start my engine and rev it a few times. Without waiting for Viking or Brantley, I take off from the parking lot. All I need right this second is the wind racing over my body and a few minutes to get my mind clear. It hasn’t happened yet, but maybe one of these days a ride will work as normal and help me get my thoughts straight about what I wanna do when it comes to my personal life.
Pulling into the compound, I park my bike in the line of them where I usually am. Immediately, I shut the engine off and make my way inside the clubhouse. The sight that greets me is one I’m more than used to. Kevlar and Ricochet are sitting at a table while they watch two of the club girls put on a show for them. Hawkeye is leaning back against the bar with a beer in hand and another club girl sucking his cock. Since most of the families have moved into our homes, the single guys aren’t as shy about where they get fucked. Less chance of little eyes seeing shit they shouldn’t.
“What are you doin’ here, Shield?” Ricochet asks, not taking his eyes off the two women in front of him.
“Need a hot fuckin’ shower and bed,” I answer, walking toward my room without stopping.
“You got a house for that shit. Not to mention a warm woman in your fuckin’ bed. Why the fuck would you stay here when you got that at home?” Kevlar asks me, taking his attention off the show to look at me.
“Don’t wanna wake the boys up since it’s so late,” I give my standard answer.
“Bullshit. I’ll make sure to say some nice words at your fuckin’ funeral, Shield. You hurt Kasey Rage is gonna kill you. Slow and fuckin’ painful,” Ricochet says as I continue walking down the hall toward our rooms.
I don’t know what the fuck is going on but I’m getting really fucking tired of everyone telling me Rage is gonna kill me. I’m also over everyone wanting to have an opinion about my personal fucking life. I don’t butt into everyone else’s life so no one should offer their opinion into mine. Especially if I don’t ask them for their help or opinion. When I go to someone, it will be up to me about who I want to talk to and what I say to them. Fucking shit sucks!
Chapter Three
Kasey
TWO WEEKS HAVE passed since the night Anthony didn’t come home. He hasn’t been home since then either. I guess he’s using the clothes he has at the clubhouse to change into. I haven’t been down there either. There’s no reason for me to be there. If Anthony wants his space from us, he can fucking have it. I’m done catering to him and trying to fix something he clearly doesn’t want to fix. The boys are my focus and all I give a fuck about right now. As long as I make everything right for them, I’ll be okay. Though, Andrew is starting to ask where his daddy is. That hurts me every single time he looks at the door or asks me when he can see his daddy. Today it’s time to message Anthony and let him know his sons want to see him. I shouldn’t have to remind him that he’s got two young boys who love him more than anything else in their world. Both of our boys look up to Anthony and him being gone is hitting them harder than me.
Getting out of bed, I have to rush to the bathroom. There’s really nothing for me to get rid of because I didn’t eat dinner last night. I couldn’t stomach getting any food down as I watched the boys eat. This shit with Anthony is getting on my nerves and it hurts so bad I can’t hardly eat anything on a daily basis. After a few minutes, I have to check something out. There’s a slight possibility that I could be pregnant. I know it’s been two months since Anthony and I last had sex, but we’ve never done anything to prevent a pregnancy in the past. It’s not something we’ve worried about. Now, that’s changed and we should’ve been taking precautions. Especially with how estranged we currently are.
Opening up the cabinet door under the sink, I grab a pregnancy test. Yes, I keep some on hand most of the time. I open it up and do what I have to do in order to take the test. Setting it on the counter, I turn my attention to brushing my teeth and running a brush through my hair before letting my eyes wander down to see if I’m pregnant or not. Immediately my eyes are drawn to the positive sign on the test. I’m definitely pregnant. Which means I’m about two months pregnant at the very least. Fuck!
I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do now. This time Anthony isn’t gonna be happy I’m pregnant with his baby and I’ll be a single mom to three kids under the age of five. This pregnancy isn’t going to do anything to fix what’s wrong between Anthony and me. In fact, it might end up driving a wedge further between us. I hope I’m wrong, but that’s honestly what I see happening when I actually see the man who owns my heart and can tell him. This isn’t something I’ll tell him over the phone or through a damn message. It’s too personal for that shit.
Once I’m done in the bathroom and have hidden the test from sight, I make my way back into my room and get dressed. Since I don’t plan on going anywhere today, I choose a pair of leggings and one of Anthony’s shirts that I stole a long time ago. It’s from when he played football and has his name and number on the back. It’s a name I’ll never have as my own and I have to become okay with that. I’ve had more than enough time to get used to it, so now I have to start making plans of my own. A way to move forward while taking care of the boys and this new little one I’m currently carrying.
Heading downstairs, my eyes land on the couch to see if Anthony came home last night. He didn’t. The couch is as I left it last night with no signs of Anthony being here yet again. Walking into the kitchen, I pull out what I need to make the boys something for breakfast and grab my phone from the counter. Pulling up Anthony’s name, I type out a message for him.
