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“I did love him,” he rasped out as tears slipped down his cheeks. “I loved him so fucking much, Hedra.”
“I know, honey.” She pulled him close and purred to him, resting his head against her chest until he had more control over his emotions.
He straightened and took her hand again, holding it tightly. “Derek didn’t want Cooper and the others to know. I wanted to tell them, but he thought they would look at us differently.”
“Why?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I never really understood it, to be honest. He knew we didn’t care who he loved, but when it came to me and him… it just hit him differently, I guess. Maybe because we worked together, and he knew Cooper frowned on that sort of thing. Don’t shit where you eat, sort of idea, you know?”
“Yes,” Hedra said.
“It’s why he has a no sleeping with the clients rule at the security firm. Anyway, what the others thought of him, Cooper especially, meant a great deal to Derek. He asked me to keep it quiet, and I agreed because I loved him. We would have told them eventually, but then Derek died, and after that, there was no point.”
Hedra squeezed his hand. “You didn’t tell them after Derek died?”
Boone shook his head, and she said, “Why not, honey?”
“What was the point?” he said. “Derek was gone, and we were all drowning in grief.”
“Yes,” she said gently, “but your grief has a different intensity to it that Cooper and the others would have wanted to know. You needed a little extra love and support.”
“They miss him as much as I do,” he said.
She made him look at her again. “It’s not the same, and you know that, Boone. Losing your best friend, who was also your mate, is entirely different.”
He was crying again but didn’t feel embarrassed as Hedra rubbed the tears away from his cheeks with her thumbs. “I’m sorry you lost your mate, and I’m sorry you had to go through your grief alone, honey.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her throat and accepting her touch and her comfort as she rubbed his back and purred softly to him. After a while, he raised his head and pressed a kiss to her mouth. “Thank you for letting me talk to you about Derek.”
“Honey, you can talk about him anytime you want.” She gave him a serious look. “I mean that, Boone. Your love for him is something I never want you to feel guilty about or hide from me.”
He sucked in a deep breath as an intense wave of love for Hedra made his chest tighten and his heart beat so hard he could hear the heavy thud of his pulse in his ears. He loved Hedra and her kindness. Her acceptance of how much he’d loved Derek and still did shoved away the guilt he felt.
He smiled at her. “I love Derek and always will, but, Hedra, I…”
She ran her fingers along his jawline. “It’s fine, Boone. You don’t have to explain.”
He squeezed her waist, his tiger purring and trilling to Hedra. “I pushed you away this week not just because of grief but because of guilt, too.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I felt guilty because I love Derek and miss him, but being with you has shown me that I can be happy again. That I can find someone amazing and wonderful who I will try every day to be worthy of her love. You are my mate, Hedra, and I love you.”
She stared at him in mute surprise, and he had a brief moment of dismay that she didn’t feel the same way before she kissed him hard. “I love you, too.”
“Thank fuck,” he said, the relief apparent in his voice.
She giggled. “Did you think I didn’t?”
“I didn’t… I mean… it probably wasn’t the best timing to tell you I love you, but you and I both know how fucking short life can be.”
“We do,” she said.
They stared silently at each other, and when Boone’s stomach growled, she smiled softly. “Did you not eat dinner?”
“I wasn’t hungry. I just wanted to be with you,” he said.
“C’mon, handsome, I’ll make you a sandwich.”
