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She swallowed the lump in her throat and drew in a breath. “Hi.”
Trax remained still for a second and then leaned his against the door, tucking his hands behind his back. “Hey.” His voice was purposely soft, and she assumed it was for her benefit.
She stared back, waiting for him to come forward, but he never did. Was he waiting for permission? Did he think she would go bat shit crazy being locked in his room, knowing what was happening? I actually don’t know, and I’m not sure I want to.
“Hungry?”
She shook her head.
“Got some water in the fridge.”
“I’m good.”
He nodded with his gaze drifting around his room.
This was awkward.
“Déjà vu, huh?” The corner of her mouth curled when she saw his brows hike up through the dark room. She angled her body to face him, remaining seated on the bed. “You standing at the door, waiting for me to lose my shit.” She smirked. “And me sitting on your bed, wondering what you’re thinking.”
“That what you’re doing, Chey? Wondering about what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah.”
His back pushed against the wall, and he stood straight. His arms fell to his sides, and although he didn’t move forward, she sensed it. He wanted to. She could sense it, without a doubt in her mind, he wanted to come to her, wrap his arms around her, and hold her tight. Or maybe that’s just what I want.
“I’m thinking the odds of you sticking around are probably shit after what went down here tonight. Thinking the one thing I wanted to do, keep you outta club shit, bit me in the fucking ass tonight.” He drove his hand through his hair with a muttered curse. “Thinking of ways to lie to you, trick ya into thinking this won’t happen again when I know my life is unpredictable and shit will go down again.” He paused and then stepped forward, the light hitting his hard features. His jaw clenched, the small lines at the edge of his eyes bunched, and his lip curled. “Never have regrets living this life, but seeing you sitting here…” He clamped his lips, and her heart raced. She wanted him to finish what he was saying. He glanced up at her. “Thinking, for the first time in my life, I wish it were different. For you.”
“Trax,” she whispered. She needed to say something. This was not at all what she’d expected when he’d walked into the room. Of course it might be a bit awkward. They had things they needed to work out, but not this. This was an end it all speech. Was that what she wanted? She bit her lip.
No!
“I don’t want you to be different.” She made no attempt to move. She had spent the last five days going over everything in her head and finally had made the decision to be with him if they could work through his betrayal. It had been a hard few days, and she wouldn’t relive it. If he was going to end it between them, truly end it, then she was leaving with closure.
“Shit will go down again, Chey.” He said it as fact, without wavering. It was honest and scary.
Her gaze locked on to his stare, and she nodded, lifting her brow. “Yeah, and shit will go down in my life too, Trax. Maybe not the same kind, but things will happen, and I’d do my best to protect you from it…” She clasped her hands on her lap. She tried to hide the fact they were shaking. “That’s life. You decide to share yours with someone else, eventually your crap runs into their lives.”
His face softened, and she caught a faint smile. “You’re worried about your shit affecting me?”
She shrugged. “Laugh if ya will, but you haven’t met my mom.”
The corners of his eyes crinkled. He was clearly amused. He grinned and folded his arms, cocking his head to the side. “I need protection from your mom?”
She sighed, resting her hands on the mattress and leaning back slightly. “Everyone needs protection from her. She hasn’t gotten the memo yet. Ya know, the one that explains her kids are grown and capable of handling their lives without her interference.”
He spread his arms out in front of his body and smirked. “Mom won’t approve?”
“Oh, she’ll approve. She’ll charm you, and then stealthily and sneakily insert herself in your life. You won’t even realize it’s happening, and then…” She fisted her hands in front of her chest and jerked her fingers open wide, shouting, “Boom! You’re living next to her, you’re friggin’ neighbors, and she’s in your kitchen having coffee, unbeknownst to you since it’s five in the morning and you’re still sleeping. All of a sudden, you’re in her book club, at her house every Sunday for dinner.” Her chest deflated, and she sighed again. “Your fate is sealed. There’s no way out.”
She jerked her head when he burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny.”
“It’s damn funny, babe.” He chuckled. “I know you’re not talking from experience, seeing how ya live in your apartment.”
“My brother.”
He snickered. “Maybe your brother needs to grow some balls.”
