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Whatever he said now, he knew it wouldn’t be enough, so instead, he moved in on her and captured her mouth in a bruising, punishing, aching kiss that left his heart open and his soul on fire. She tasted sweet and warm, and he wanted to lose himself in this woman for the rest of his life. When she gave out a little moan, he pulled back, cupping her face. “Does that feel like a job to you?” He asked.
The anger in her eyes was gone, but there was still pain, and something else. Desire. Fuck, she still wanted him as much as he wanted her. “Pack your stuff. I’m driving you home.”
Hallie stared up at him with those gorgeous eyes, almost as if she was at a loss for words. He didn’t know what else he could do, what more he could say, but he wasn’t backing down. He wasn’t running away. He was here to stay.
“Okay,” she finally said.
Chapter 18
Caden sat with Hallie in his quiet dark car, nothing but the moon, the stars, and a few street lamps for light. He’d promised to take her home, but now that they were finally alone, all he could think about was how he wasn’t ready to be apart from her again. He needed more time with her. “Would you mind if I showed you something before I took you back to your apartment? It won’t take long and we can leave whenever you want.”
It took her several long moments, but she finally said, “okay.”
Her softly spoken word, so thinly laced with a mere fragment of the trust she once had in him, pulled at his heart strings. He would earn that trust back no matter how long it took.
They drove in silence until he pulled into the driveway of the abandoned house he’d seen earlier that day. He drove clear across the property, through the field of dead grass, and stopped just short of the creek.
“What is this place?” Hallie asked. “Are we even allowed to be here?” Her hand lay palm up on her lap, and he covered it with his, intertwining their fingers. Her warmth seeped into his skin, and he never wanted to let go.
He didn’t miss the fact that she didn’t pull away, and it gave him the sliver of hope he’d been craving all night. “Remember when I told you that I was getting tired of my apartment and was thinking of buying a house?”
“You bought this house?” Hallie asked, a hint of excitement in her voice.
Caden smiled. “Not yet, but I’m seriously considering it. There’s a creek that flows through the property, about twenty feet ahead of us.”
“Can I see it?” Hallie asked.
“I was hoping you’d say that. Come on, just watch your step. I’ll leave the headlights on so we’ll have plenty of light.”
They got out of the car and as soon as they met in front of the hood, Caden carefully put his arm around her. Again, she didn’t pull away, so he brought her in closer, his body instantly reacting to having her pressed against his side. Every nerve ending came alive inside him, almost as if she’d jump-started him back to life. “There.” He pointed with his free hand. “See the flowing water?”
Hallie nodded. “I think I heard it before I saw it.”
The sound of trickling water penetrating the dark silence was unmistakable, rivaling only the loud crickets and a woodpecker somewhere in the distance. The air smelled of cedar and oak, an intoxicating blend of forest and calm. He took in their surroundings, noticing how this place almost looked magical under the veil of darkness.
All he’d wanted was to share this place with Hallie. And now that she was here with him, there was so much he needed to tell her. He should’ve gone to her sooner. Letting so much time come between them was the biggest mistake of his life. Her question about their kiss weighed heavy on him, and he knew he had to answer it before they could move forward. He braced himself for the words he was about to say, hoping she wouldn’t turn away from him once she knew the truth.
“Hallie, I kissed you on Garrett’s dock because it was the only thing I wanted to do. Because watching you talk and laugh with my friends made me feel like you were meant to be a part of my family. A part of my life. I kissed you because I thought it would bring us closer, and I wanted that too. And yes, I kissed you hoping you’d let your guard down and tell me the truth about your involvement in Blake’s shooting. But more than anything else, I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you more than I wanted to breathe in that moment.
“If that makes me an asshole, so be it. I never said I was perfect. You don’t have to be perfect to wear this badge. I’ve given up a lot for it and I was ready to give you up for it too, only I couldn’t. Something had to give. I saw this place for the first time earlier today, and all I could think about was you. You are all I’ve thought about for weeks now. You and our kiss that I can still taste every time I draw breath.”
Hallie’s body went rigid. Had he said too much? Not enough? She started to pull away from him and the urge to fight her, to hold her to him was overwhelming, but he wouldn’t do that. He’d never force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. Even if it killed him. They were standing almost two feet apart by the time she spoke, her gaze still on the creek ahead. “Orly was right. You’re a good man.”
Caden didn’t speak. He didn’t move. He barely breathed.
Hallie fidgeted with her fingers and he sensed her hesitation. “She told me to trust you, but after what you told me about how I was under FBI surveillance and what you didn’t say about our kiss, I honestly wasn’t sure if I could. I mean, I trust you to keep me safe and all that, but with my heart, I just didn’t know. Then you went and said all that, and it’s like I don’t even know where to start. There’s so much you don’t know about me. So much I’m terrified to tell you. But you just opened your heart to me, so it wouldn’t really be fair if I didn’t do the same.”
“No, that’s not why I told you that,” Caden said. He didn’t need her to tell him anything. He just wanted her back in his arms right now. The rest they could deal with later.
“I know. But Caden, I really do think you should know this about me. I think it will change how you see me.” She was still fidgeting with her fingers, her gaze going everywhere but at him.
“I see you as a smart, funny, incredible woman whom I’ve come to care about more than I ever thought was possible to care about anyone.” Nothing she said would change his mind about her. Not after he’d spent weeks missing her the way he had. For better or worse, he wasn’t going anywhere.
Hallie closed her eyes and her fingers tightened into small fists at her sides, like she was preparing herself for what she was about to say.
“Whatever it is,” he said. “We’ll deal with it together.”
“I see glimpses of the future,” she blurted out, suddenly opening her eyes and bringing them up to meet his gaze, as if expecting some sort of reaction out of him.
