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Devil kept nodding. “Yes. Yes, well, this is a very serious condition and we want to make sure you’re all clear. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That’s what Einstein used to say.”
“Ben Franklin,” Harris said.
“What?”
“Ben Franklin said that. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
Devil froze for an instant, then immediately began nodding wisely once again. “Yes. Yes, indeed. Now, let’s get started, shall we?”
Nikki stood perfectly still. She felt like her nervous system was about to jump out of her skin and run off down the hallway with her sanity. It was all fun and games up until now. Now, they had a real live FBI agent, sitting right here, and they were faking giving him an exam.
Anything could happen.
Devil cleared his throat and almost began his bullshit examination before Nikki held a pair of rubber gloves toward him. For a second, she thought their game was up, but he simply nodded serenely again and pulled on his gloves before stepping up close to Agent Harris.
“All right then,” Devil said, pushing Harris’s lips wide apart and staring at his mouth. “Gums look normal. Open wide. Tongue to the left. Now to the right. Good.”
What the hell are you doing?Nikki wanted to scream, but there was nothing she could do other than to kick herself for not going over what an actual exam looked like with Devil ahead of time.
True, Devil could spontaneously bullshit like none other, but bullshit could only take you so far. Or could it?
Devil now pushed Harris’s eyelids apart and stared into his eyes up close. Then, looking satisfied, he began slowly squeezing the tips of Harris’s ears.
Oh, shit,Nikki thought.He’s derailed.
Just as Harris frowned and said, “Doctor,” Nikki coughed loudly and held up a stethoscope she’d snagged from a tray of instruments on the desk near Harris’s phone.
Harris’s phone. What she was supposed to be paying attention to, and instead, she was trying to keep the moment from exploding in their faces.
“Here’s your stethoscope, Doctor,” she said, before Harris could finish his complaint.
“Ah, thank you,” Devil said.
She caught his eye while handing him the stethoscope. Using her eyes, she looked demonstrably at the phone on the desk, then back at Harris. Devil had to turn Harris around. She couldn’t do a thing until he did.
A few more pointed looks, and Devil seemed to get the message.
“Let’s have you stand up and turn around, Mr. Harris,” he said, guiding the FBI agent to his feet and turning him around.
As soon as Harris’s back was turned, Nikki wasted no time in getting Benny’s phone next to the fed’s. She started counting out the seconds in her head, one, two, three, but they seemed to take forever to tick forward.
Three minutes suddenly seemed like a long, long time.
“There we go,” Devil said, moving the stethoscope around on Harris’s back. “And cough. And cough again.”
Devil shot her a nervous look. Nikki knew what he was thinking. He was running out of places to put the stethoscope and she’d only counted to twenty-five.
When did three minutes get so goddamn long?she thought.It’s never this long when I’m trying to get to work on the morning.
She shook her head to Devil and shrugged at the phone. Devil paused for a moment, looking at his stethoscope, looking at Harris. Harris straightened up a bit and began to turn back around.
Nikki’s heart did a back flip and she almost made a grab for the virus phone.
“Wait, wait,” Devil said, keeping Harris from turning around and placing his stethoscope on his back again. “Cough one more time for me.”
As Harris complied, Devil mouthedwhat should I do?to her.
I don’t know!she mouthed back, gesturing wilding at the phone and then Harris and then the back of her wrist to indicate time. She didn’t know if he understood any of it. She was starting to lose it, panic rising up in her and making her feel almost nauseous.
