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“Devil, actually,” Pony said, then added, “You’re not the only one who’s full of surprises.”
“Clearly,” Piper said, and slid carefully through the cracked open back door and into Harris’s house.
Pony followed her closely. They held their guns at the ready, each covering a different part of the room that they entered. It was dark and quiet, and Piper could hear more sounds of Harris moving around in a part of the house where the lights were on.
With a touch on her shoulder and a nod, Pony indicated that he was going to split off and go a separate way. Piper, in turn, began to tip-toe toward the sounds in the kitchen, where she heard what sounded like Harris grunting.
As she got closer, the grunting stopped, and there was the soft rustling of clothing, followed by the distinct sound of a zipper being zipped up. Piper had to shake off her curiosity as to what Harris was doing to focus on staying quiet, very quiet, as she moved slowly and carefully towards the lights in the kitchen.
There was a clatter that sounded like something was being dropped on a countertop. Piper was close to the kitchen now, sliding through the dark dining room, navigating around a long wooden table and the chairs set along it.
At the threshold to the kitchen, Piper gave herself a second to pause and listen. Nothing, now. No sounds at all.
Nothing to do but go in. Quick as a cat, she stepped through the open doorway and into the kitchen, pistol held high.
Nothing.Empty.
Piper frowned. Had he gone to the bathroom, perhaps, or another room? She moved forward, straining her ears for any trace of where Harris had gone.
As she moved further into the kitchen and turned toward the hallway leading to the front door, there was the distinctive sound of a pistol hammer being clicked back. It was off to her side, in the dark, and she froze, knowing that she would never be able to move quickly enough.
“Did you forget how long I was undercover?” Harris said, stepping out of the shadows with a large revolver in his hands. “Those instincts don’t just disappear.”
Piper held her hands up, turning towards him slowly. He was grinning now, smiling smugly as he lined up his pistol sights on her head.
“Thanks, Piper,” he said, putting his finger on the trigger. “Thanks for making this so much easier.”
From behind him, Pony said, “Not so easy.”
Harris froze, gun still pointed at Piper, finger still on the trigger. Piper could almost hear the gears spinning in his head as he tried to think his way out of his predicament.
“I’ve got no problem shooting you in the back,” Pony said. “Killed plenty of people in my day. One more won’t make any difference.”
“All right,” Harris said, lowering his gun. “All right. Let’s just take it easy, talk about this.”
Piper darted forward and snatched the gun out of Harris’s hands before the corrupt FBI agent could so much as twitch. Once his gun was in her hands, her foot swung up hard between his legs, smashing into his testicles with a meaty thump that dropped Harris to the ground.
“Takethateasy, asshole,” she said. “That’s for setting up my sister. And…”
Piper paused, catching sight on the kitchen countertop of a half-empty, rolled up tube of what she first thought was toothpaste. She remembered the clattering sound she’d heard earlier, of something being dropped on the counter, along with the grunting and zipping up of Harris’s pants. On closer inspection of the tube, she could see the word RECTICARE on the side of it.
“What’s this?” she said, picking up the tube and looking at it.
Harris struggled to his knees, still clutching at his swollen privates. “I had a… a doctor’s appointment.”
Piper looked at Pony and held up the tube so he could see the name on the side. It was too much. Neither one could help it; they both burst out into laughter that they simply couldn’t contain.
“It’s not funny,” Harris said.
“It’s definitely funny,” Piper said. “Pony?”
Pony said, “It’s about as funny as funny gets.”
Once she was sufficiently recovered, Piper dragged Harris to his feet, restraining his hands behind his back with a pair of disposable plastic flex cuffs.
“Get up,” she said.
“You have no idea what you’ve stepped into,” Harris said. “No idea.”
