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“If a girl has been with a guy. Even just a kiss…” She clears her throat. “She’s obligated to disclose that information to said friend who now has a thing for him.”
She and I have continued to refer to our encounter as ‘just a kiss,’ but we both know it was more than that. I can still remember the swell of her chest beneath my fingers and the way her breath hitched in her throat when I reached beneath her skirt and felt the heated lace of her underwear. I love knowing I made her feel that way, because she made me feel things too. Things I still feel today.
“Did you tell her it was more than a kiss?” I ask before I catch myself.
Her eyes shoot up to mine and a blush spreads across her cheeks. “I…um…” She gulps and fumbles through her words. “Well, you said it was just a kiss, so I just piggybacked off your story.”
“So, isn’t that against the girl code, then?” I tease.
She averts her gaze and picks at her napkin absently. “It’s kind of weird to talk about it now.”
“That’s fine,” I answer quickly, trying to make sure I’m not making her feel too awkward. God knows I’ve done plenty of that already. “You can tell her whatever you want. I’m just giving you a hard time.”
She shrugs. “Maureen really likes you.”
“Maureen doesn’t know me.”
Sophie meets my eyes again. “Do you let anyone really know you?”
You, Sophie. I’d like you to know me. You already know more than most.
I take another sip of water and adjust my napkin on the table. “I don’t really want Maureen to know me. And I don’t particularly want to know her either.”
She raises an eyebrow, and I can read her mind in an instant.
“I had a moment of weakness.” I shake my head.
“Because you were frustrated with me.” She doesn’t phrase it as a question. It’s a statement she already knows is true.
I hold her gaze for a moment, studying her big eyes and the way they stare so intently back into mine. At the same time, our waitress reappears with our meals, too fast to know they were made with much quality, but fast enough to know they’ll be greasy and delicious.
When we are alone again, I sit back and truly meet her eyes. “Yes, I was frustrated with you. But also with myself. That’s been a never-ending saga since I met you. We are who we are, and I made a promise to you.”
She watches me quietly for a few seconds and then nervously tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear as she picks up her fork. “Has the promise been that hard to keep?”
Is this a test? Is she looking for a yes or a no? I study her expression, trying to figure out which way to answer. My gut says ‘yes,’ but if I’m honest with her, will it blow back up in my face? Will she accuse me of flirting again? It’s like a mathematical equation that doesn’t have a definite answer.
So, instead of an answer, I ask a question, ignoring the food on my plate. “Do you remember what I told you last night?”
She scrunches her nose. “You told me a lot of things last night, but I’ve probably blocked them out in an attempt to erase the entire evening.”
I frown, realizing that of course she’s still struggling. I keep my voice gentle. “I told you that you’re always eager to see the good in people. And I think you’ve seen some things in me that I haven’t even noticed about myself yet.”
“Like what?” She cocks her head.
I take a deep breath. “Maybe some things that make me consider breaking that promise.”
When her shoulders freeze, I immediately know I’ve gone too far.
“But mostly some things that make me want to keep the promise even more strictly,” I quickly add.
It’s the truth, after all. More than anything else, I’m terrified I’ll break her heart. That would hurt so much worse than knowing I let her go without giving it a chance.
She cuts off a tiny piece of hot dog, stabs it with her fork, and lifts it to her lips. Who eats hot dogs with a fork? Sophie. Sophie does. And she makes it adorable.
“I, um…” She stumbles over her words once she swallows. “There shouldn’t be any reason to break your promise. So, I’m not sure I understand.”
The corner of my mouth turns up as she avoids my gaze. “No, you’re right. There’s not. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
