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And with that small declaration, my heart finally breaks open. The box around my feelings disintegrates, the walls come down, and the knots come undone.
Yet here, in this small garden, in front of this sparkling fountain, I don’t move. I don’t let those emotions reach my face. I’m afraid to.
Memories of Heather threaten to close me off again, and I shut my eyes, fearing my walls will slam back up. Except, this time, they don’t.
I open my eyes and look at Sophie again. She’s different. I want her completely. But not like I wanted her in Long Island. This time, I want her trust, and her touch, and her gentle, honest heart. I want to keep her in my arms, give her everything she needs, protect her from all her fears, and promise I’ll never let her go.
I want to erase my original promise and replace it with this new one.
Every time we’ve kissed, her lips have unknowingly worked out the kinks in my damaged heart and opened me further to the possibility of risking it all again.
I gulp and release my arms from her back, glancing at the camera crew across the garden. If I tell Sophie I want to be with her, with hearts and flowers and all that comes with a real relationship, she won’t believe me. I’ve been too adamant about my aversion to commitment. I’ve been angry with her so many times for forcing the issue, it would be embarrassing to admit my change of heart.
I barely believe it myself.
When George gestures that we can return, I clear my throat and pull away from her. “Ok, looks like they got the shot.”
“Oh, right, good.” She smiles shyly and steps back. The cool air rushes against my chest, stealing the warmth from her touch.
If it’s possible, she’s even more gorgeous to me now that I’ve stopped trying to pretend like she isn’t. The tousled, copper strands of her hair hang across her tiny shoulders, framing her sun-kissed cheeks and those perfect rose-colored lips. So many times, she’s pulled that full bottom lip between her teeth when she looks at me just so. She did it in my hotel room last year when I lost the last bit of my control. And as if she’s reading my mind today, she does it now, grinning up at me.
I should pull her into my arms. Heck, I should have kissed her just moments ago, improvising like we find it so easy to do. But I simply smile and turn away. I leave her alone and go back to chat with the crew. We still have three months of shows. If I’m a man of my word, I’ll have to keep my promise for at least that long…
Then what? Once the project is over, will the promise still matter? I’ll probably head home to Chicago and continue my career there for a while, and she’ll probably want to move on too. By then, the opportunity will have been wasted.
All because of one respectful, genuine, stupid promise.
***
Preview week goes perfectly. The first reviews are coming in, and the consensus is we’re having great success. Sophie and I are being applauded for portraying such a believable, turbulent love story to audiences. Apparently, we have chemistry.
Go figure.
Neither of us has mentioned the moment we shared in front of the fountain, which now results in an unresolved tension that hangs between us. Kissing her is sweet torture. I try to remove myself from the moment each time, channeling William as much as I can. I’m not sure it’s working, though. Each time I feel her lips against mine, my resolve to keep my promise grows weaker.
The love scene is even harder. I can’t believe I have to do this for eleven more weeks.
Today, I’m on my way up to Sophie’s apartment with a bag of takeout I promised her when I spot Maureen exiting the stairwell. Her eyes catch mine and she slowly comes to a stop.
I pause in front of her, clearing my throat with a nod. “Maureen.”
“Hey,” she replies, pulling her purse over her shoulder anxiously.
“What are you doing here?” I ask casually, looking around.
“I was visiting Sophie,” she replies.
I’m surprised. I haven’t asked Sophie about it, but I assumed they were still on pretty tense terms after Drew’s big reveal at the club.
“We talked for a while.” She takes a deep breath, studying me closely. “You know, you two should really get together already.”
I shift my weight from one foot to the other, watching her skeptically. “Um, well…I don’t know. I don’t think she wants that…”
She shrugs and shifts her gaze to the ground. “I just told her the same thing. And she had the same response.”
I raise an eyebrow, wondering if she’s telling the truth.
“Never thought I’d be playing matchmaker.” Maureen scoffs with a dry laugh.
