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I stare at him for a long moment, wishing he hadn’t said anything at all. “Kai, you promised.” The words are strained as they leave my lips.
Guilt flashes across his eyes. “I know. And I want to keep it. But I can’t keep pretending.”
My chest feels tight. It’s as if I’ve run a marathon, yet I’m standing perfectly still. “What are you pretending?”
His expression softens, forcefulness melting away right in front of me. “It was easy at first. Pretending like I didn’t want you. It was easy because I was emotionally detached. You were just the pretty girl I met at the club. And when you said no to me, I thought I could move on.” He pauses with a deep breath, and he takes another step toward me. “But I can’t pretend anymore. You mean so much more to me now.”
He's doing it. Oh, God, he’s finally doing it and I’m not ready.
I watch him in shock, but I shake my head. “Kai, we can’t. I can’t…” I suck in a trembling breath. “What you want, it’s not possible with us. Not after everything…”
“I know,” he replies with another step. “That’s exactly it, though. I want more. I want the real thing.”
My heart stops beating. Right there in my chest; I don’t feel even one beat for what feels like an eternity. “But, I thought you don’t do relation—”
“I don’t,” he interrupts, and then grows quiet, pulling his brows together and casting his gaze down to his feet. “I didn’t. But you’ve made me rethink things.” His eyes, torn with conflict, meet mine again. “I hardly know how to open myself up to something like that again. But when I’m with you, everything feels different.”
I don’t move an inch as he takes another step. I can’t open my mouth to speak. I can’t even fathom forming the words. I’ve been so intent on changing my own mindset, I barely considered he might actually change his.
“You deserve to be with someone who sees the deepest, truest parts of you, even with your flaws, and still wants you anyway,” Kai says. “And he’ll be real with you too. He won’t have to put on a show.” He’s now barely a step away. “He won’t be able to take his eyes off you. He won’t be able to keep his hands off you. He’ll want to know every inch of you, inside and out.” He pauses. “I’ve felt that way about you ever since I made you that promise and then realized it meant I couldn’t have you.” He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “You need more than I thought I could give you. You deserve commitment, and security, and… love.” He blinks quickly and looks at me again, pressing his lips together. “Those things scare me, and I’m not sure I know how to be the man you need me to be.” He takes a breath. “But I’m willing to try.”
Emotions of all kinds are crashing down within me, shattering the hesitations I’ve had about him all along. “Kai, I don’t want you to change yourself for me…” I whisper.
“I haven’t always been so cynical. I believed in it all once upon a time. You’ve brought me back…” He looks like he’s been shattered and put back together all at once.
I break my gaze from his and focus on his shoes. They step closer to mine. Memories of the day of my audition flood my mind. He told me he wouldn’t do this. He promised. But back then, it simply meant he wouldn’t try to get me to go home with him again. I never expected our relationship would deepen enough that he’d be pouring out his heart to me like this.
When I lift my eyes to his again, they burn dark and aching with desire as he waits for me to speak. But I’m lost for words.
“Look,” he fills the silence. “If I would have known I would feel this way, I never would have been stupid enough to make you that promise. But now, I don’t want anyone else to have you. I want every part of you to myself. And not just for a few days. I want you every day.”
My heart, which has been hardened and bruised by the men who fed it lies and used it as their plaything, and also by the ones who never really touched it at all, knows Kai’s words are the real ones. They are as true as the way I feel for him too.
I study his eyes, which search mine in return. He regrets his promise, and it is the most genuine thing he’s ever admitted. For the first time, the trust I feel for those eyes and the person behind them becomes something I can anchor myself to. That’s all that matters now.
“Then break it,” I reply clearly.
He blinks at me, confused. “Break what?”
“Break your promise.”
For a breathless second, he doesn’t speak, his expression giving away his surprise. The silence of the secluded garden around us is deafening, closing in on our tiny little moment that means nothing to the world, but means the world to us.
His eyes dart back and forth between mine like he’s worried he might have misinterpreted my meaning. But I let a gentle smile play on my lips, giving him the resolve he needs. And at that small assurance, he lets out a quick, relieved exhale and closes the distance between us, taking my face in his hands and capturing my lips with his. Hot and urgent and real.
I grin into his kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck as he moves his hands to the small of my back, holding me firmly against him. It takes my breath away. So new, yet he feels like home in the warmest way. I’ve kissed William dozens of times. But until now, I’ve only kissed Kai once. And kissing Kai is something else entirely. When I kiss Kai now, I’m not Elaine. I’m Sophie. Finally.
“I’m sorry…” he whispers into my lips as he holds me tight.
I pull back an inch to look up into his eyes. “For what?”
“For making a promise I had to break.” His gaze pours into mine.
I can’t help but smile at his sorrow, for it is so unnecessary. “Some promises are meant to be broken.”
Pushing up to my toes, I press my grin into his, kissing him with a passion that has enough fuel to last an eternity. His tongue traces the seam of my lips, and I open my mouth to him, welcoming the invasion, and tasting him again at last. We kiss like we’re sharing souls, pouring out one to taste the other, and for once, there is no script, no direction. We’re finally allowed the freedom of being ourselves, acting on the urges we’ve both locked away for too long.
He holds me in his arms like a vice, and I’m deliriously happy. It’s a fantasy that’s played in my mind for months, teasing me over and over again. But here, in the flesh, it’s so much more.
