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“Did you hear about the New Year’s Eve party?” I ask.
He nods.
Why does he seem angry?
“Will you go?” I chance a glance at him.
He keeps his eyes trained on his meal. “Yeah, I’ll probably go.”
We’re quiet again as we eat. I alternate between focusing on my food and peering up at him. Something is on his mind. I want to know what it is.
“Maureen is bummed she can’t be here today.” I push a piece of chicken around with my fork.
“Maureen is rarely content,” he replies simply.
I take a slow bite. He doesn’t respond quite like I expected. He’s clearly into her. I figured he’d be eager to chat about her. Maybe she wants more from him just like I do.
“Why don’t you do relationships?” The question falls from my lips before I have a chance to stop it. I quickly gulp and close my mouth in embarrassment.
Kai turns toward me slightly. He hasn’t anticipated such a blatant question either. With extreme reluctance, I meet his curious gaze. I’m just short of mortified, but I don’t back down. I wait for his answer.
He returns to his meal. “They never end well.”
I cock my head to the side, still watching him. “Well, do any relationships ever end well? I mean, it’s an end. It kind of speaks for itself.”
He looks up at me again. His eyes have turned sad. “Have you ever been in a relationship?”
I blink at him, slightly offended that he thinks I’m that innocent. “Of course I have.”
“And how did it end?”
I shrug. “We weren’t compatible. We went our separate ways.”
He takes another bite. “Well, consider yourself lucky.”
His jaw clenches as he swallows, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. So, even though I want to ask him for more details, I decide not to. I choose a different question instead. “If you could have a relationship that didn’t end, would you want it then?”
He smiles without humor. “And who could ever ensure that?”
“You’d never know unless you tried, right?”
He closes up his salad box and inhales. “I don’t trust people well. So, I just don’t think it’s my thing.”
I purse my lips, hardly believing someone could be so averse to the rewards that come with a relationship just because they’re afraid of the risks. Even I know a chance at true love is worth the hazard of a heartbreak—if the circumstances are right.
I start to open my mouth, but I close it again when he stands up and heads toward the door.
“I’ve gotta go find my script and work on my lines before we start again.” He pauses and looks at me for a moment. “I’ll see you in a bit?”
I nod slowly as he turns and leaves without another word. Then I return my gaze to the racks of clothes and chew on the inside of my cheek, replaying his responses in my head. He closed himself off too quickly. It’s bewildering. He rushed to leave too, like he didn’t want to be near me. I pull my brows together. He didn’t seem like he wanted to be near me after our kiss either. Have I done something wrong?
I run my hand through my hair and sigh. I’m not sure why I care so much. Why should I care so much? I snap my salad box shut and stand up quickly, returning to work and leaving my senseless thoughts behind.
FOURTEEN
Kai
I ride the elevator up to the 38th floor at the Ritz-Carlton with a six-pack of Guinness hanging from my grip. The floor levels tick up in sequence until the chime rings and the doors open. I step out into the empty hallway and check my watch. It’s 9:30. The party started at 9, but I’m not keen on arriving early and being stuck alone with Nick for any amount of time.
