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When Kai walks on stage this morning, it’s the first time I’ve seen him since the party. I try to catch his eye, but he doesn’t meet mine at all. If Leah is right, and he is interested in me, he certainly doesn’t know how to show it well.
“Hey, Sophie.” Nick is next to me before I can even take a sip of my morning coffee. “I think we should work on your accent a little more. Your r’s are a bit off.”
I nod as I turn my cup around in my hands.
“Maybe we can meet on Wednesday after we wrap for the day?” He pauses. “Maybe back at my hotel?”
I look up at him. “Ok, yeah, we can meet in the lounge.”
It’s not the answer he wanted, but he nods. “Alright…that works.”
“Kai, Sophie, can we chat?” Sarah climbs the steps of the stage. We both follow her to the wings where she stops us. “As you know, tomorrow we will be blocking Elaine and William’s love scene for the first time. I’d like to meet with the two of you in the morning about twenty minutes early to discuss the logistics before we get on stage. Will that work for you both?”
My stomach twists and turns with new nerves. I know this scene has been coming. We’ve already practiced the lines, but George wanted to wait to be on stage to block it.
It’s the first time William and Elaine sleep together. It’s raw…emotional…exposed. It’s too soon after I’ve been so vulnerable with Kai. I feel stripped already. He knows too much about my innocent past. He knows too much about what I desire. The emotions and the actions and the expressions of the scene are so much more than I’m ready to face with him.
“Sure,” Kai replies. “I’ll be there.”
“Yep,” I gulp.
“Perfect! I’ll see you in the morning,” Sarah turns on her heel and is quickly out of sight.
I can feel Kai’s eyes on me, but I turn away, not sure there is much to say. I’m afraid for tomorrow. But I’m also uncomfortably eager. The love scene will be so much more intimate than the kiss we’ve rehearsed already. This time, the scene will require us to portray something we’ve never done. Something I pushed him away from.
I don’t want to do it.
But I also desperately want to do it, and I hate myself for that.
I’m out of sorts for the rest of the day, and we have to rehearse multiple scenes too many times because I forget my lines, or George doesn’t like the way I deliver one. It’s embarrassing, and I feel bad that I’m holding things up, but I’m only thinking about tomorrow, and those anxious thoughts don’t leave room for much else.
When we finally wrap for the day, almost two hours behind schedule, we all take the subway back home. Kai, Maureen, Brent, and Nick are all at the same hotel, just a block from my apartment, so we get off at the same station. Everyone is tired and quiet, but when most are out of sight, Kai appears next to me.
“Do you want to take a walk?” he asks.
I glance up at him and swallow nervously. “Sure, what’s up?” I pretend like I have no idea.
He points us toward a sidewalk that heads in the direction of my apartment, and we begin to walk.
Kai is silent for a long moment. So, I gaze ahead, waiting for him to speak, wondering if I should say something first. But just before it becomes uncomfortable, he finally does. “I want to make sure you know that tomorrow is going to be less horrible than you expect it to be.” I start to shake my head, but he continues. “I’ve done this before…love scenes… They’re really all very technical and rehearsed. And especially with Sarah there…”
I clear my throat and try to hide the pesky blush that wants to creep into my cheeks. “Oh, I’m not worried.”
“Yes, you are,” he says simply. He still hasn’t looked at me.
I stare at the side of his face for a few seconds. Who is he to tell me if I’m worried or not? He’s making assumptions.
But he isn’t wrong.
“No, I’m not,” I lie.
Kai scratches his cheek and takes a deep breath. He almost smiles. “Ok, fine, if you say so.”
We’re both mute for a moment. I stare at the sidewalk in front of us. Why does he care that I’m nervous, anyway? His job isn’t to care. His job is to do the scene and be done with it.
I clear my throat. “So, um, is that all?”
“I guess so, since you’re not worried.”
