Page 48 of Bitter Retreat


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That dried her tears. “You are important to me. I don’t know if I can ever give you what you deserve, but you’ll always be my friend.” She put her hands over her aching heart.

His smile saddened. “I don’t deserve anything, not even friendship. If you want to give it to me, I’ll be honored to accept. But full trust will take time. Maybe talk to your doctor?” He shrugged. “I’m more than happy to talk to her too, if she thinks it would be helpful.”

Wiz placed her hands on top of his. Tom’s smile grew happier and sweeter, and he enclosed her fingers in his gently. “Now, can you tell me a little bit more about your feelings? Or should I go home?”

She wanted to go back to cuddling, and some kissing, and stay in their quiet little bubble. Because it might break tomorrow. But no matter what he said, she owed him some information. “Look, I want more. I treasure your friendship, and the hugs and kisses were wonderful.” She couldn’t help her smile or the heat rising from her chest to her head again. Good thing she had naturally darker skin or she’d be blazing like a brake light. But she had to warn him. She was dangerous in more ways than one. “I want more of that. But if we have a full relationship, I could still have a flashback or a stress reaction. I will talk to my doc, but a year from now, you might try something new, or wake me abruptly, and boom, I’m stuck in my head, and you’re knocked out cold.” She bit her lip, chills running down her spine. She’d never considered all the consequences of being a self-defense expert. “Or seriously injured or even dead. A physical relationship between us could be dangerous for you.”

She tried to pull away, but Tom gripped her hands a little tighter. “Oh, sorry.” He released her fingers, but she shook her head and left her hands in his, and he clasped them firmly. “That might be, but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I knew from day one that I had next to no chance with you, but I’d rather take the chance than live with the regret.” He chuckled. “Besides, I’m forty-two. I’ve had a great life. What I’m clumsily trying to say is, I don’t care. I love you, and I’m willing to take my chances. The potential loss is nothing next to the gain.”

Her forehead ached because she’d raised her eyebrows too high. “Tom, I’m not sure what to say.” Warmth lit her from within, but experience had taught her to watch for the fall; higher hopes meant a mightier crash.

He shrugged. “That’s okay. I don’t have any expectations.” He smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Even if it never happens again, that kiss is something I’ll remember the rest of my life.”

She smiled. “I can safely say I’d like to kiss you again.”

He grinned and tightened his grip. “That’s more than I hoped for.” His brows rose. “Now?”

“Okay.” She let go of his hands and cupped her hands around his face. His beard was a little rough on her palms, but his lips were soft against her thumbs. Ah! His tongue caressed the top of her thumb. Ooh. She leaned over, putting her lips against his, gentle and soft. He put his hands on the outsides of her knees and slowly moved them up the outside of her thighs to her waist, pulling her closer. Passion swept through her, rising with his hands. She deepened the kiss, but their position was awkward. He pulled back, and she let him go, not sure what he was thinking.

He ran his hand down her hair. “Someday, I’d love to see this down. It’s so pretty and soft.” She reached up to unbraid it, but he put out his hand. “Oh, no, love, not tonight. I’m having enough trouble with control. If I had this to stroke, well, we might not stop. You should probably talk to your doctor, first.”

She shook her head, more than a little embarrassed. “I’d be willing to bet that stopping is not something you’ve had to do a lot of, not since high school.” The man dated models—she wasn’t sure what he could possibly see in her.

He smirked. “Make that after college, and you’d be right. Took me a while to get my full growth.” A giggle jolted from her. He tugged her braid. “I love hearing that little giggle. It’s so out of character for you. And yet, it fits you perfectly.” He gave her a wicked little grin. “I’ll be trying to make you do it more.” She couldn’t help giggling again; he was adorable. He gave her a quick kiss, enough that she wanted more. Which surprised her enough that she rolled off the couch. He sprawled across the cushions like he didn’t have a care in the world. And down there, he didn’t seem scary or threatening or have a negative association. No, he looked sexy.

She took a step back and another. If they went too much further, things wouldn’t go so well. She cleared her throat. “You look so harmless there, but I know better. You’re dangerous.”

He smiled. “Oh, but not next to you. I told you I wouldn’t push, and here I am, having to use every bit of my vaunted self-control not to reach up and pull you back. You’re the dangerous one. Besides, you can kick my ass. You’re doubly dangerous.”

Wiz sat on the coffee table, and he put his hand over her knee, leaning toward her. She wanted to melt into his arms and stay there forever, but that wasn’t smart. “Maybe we should call it a night before we both regret it.”

His smile softened. “Oh, I could never regret anything I did with you, but let’s not test that theory. You said go, so I shall go.” He stood and reached down to her. Taking his hand was oddly difficult. It was a polite gesture he’d held back from making before. Could she accept even symbolic help?

She bit her lip and put her hand in his. His closed around hers, and his small smile grew into a grin. “You, Wiz.” He paused, his thumb running over her knuckles. “You’ve made me so happy tonight. I think this is the happiest I’ve been since I graduated from college. Maybe ever.” And he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. It was a trite gesture, but not from him, not with what they’d just shared. He chuckled. “And I think we should retake that picture. Yes, I think this one will be more effective.”

She frowned up at him. “Why?”

“Because right now, you look like a woman who’s been thoroughly kissed.” He ran his hand along her face. “If I had known we’d be doing this, I would have shaved before coming up.”

Heat blazed across her cheeks, but it wasn’t completely caused by his beard abrading her skin. It would probably sting when she washed her face, but she kind of enjoyed the feeling. “Sure, let’s do that. We’ll put a nail in his coffin.”

They stood together in front of the tree, and Tom put an arm around her waist, pulling her back into his body. “Okay?”

Wiz grinned. “More than okay.” She handed him her phone and kept gazing up at him. The click of the camera startled her.

“One more.”

She kept her eyes on him, and he scowled at the camera. He handed the phone back to her, wrapping both arms around her and resting his chin on the top of her head. She felt so safe in his arms. She pulled up the pictures and flipped between them. “Which do you think?”

“Oh, the one where we’re looking at each other. The one where I’m glaring is too obviously aimed at him. We don’t want him to think this is about him in any way.”

She recovered his last email from the garbage, hit reply, and attached the picture. She changed the subject line to read, “No.” In the body of the email, she typed, “I have a real man in my life now. Don’t contact me again.” Tom laughed, the sound rumbling through her body. She hit send and put the email back in the trash.

“Will you send those two of us looking at each other to me, please?”

She did. His hands slid across her waist, and he stepped back, retrieving his coat and gloves. They both walked out the front door, and after he took a step down, he turned back. He was still taller than she was, but not overwhelmingly so. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him; he returned it enthusiastically. She pulled back and took a deep breath. Her heart ached with joy. “Tom?”

“Yes, love?”

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