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“Then I really blew it. I was drunk at a dive bar, and I got in a fight with one of my team members over some random girl.” He couldn’t even remember what she looked like. “We both ended up in the hospital. I was on the verge of getting kicked off the team, and the other guy was a star. I got kicked off, my scholarship disappeared, and the hospital bills rolled in. Obviously, we couldn’t pay them. My father took it upon himself to talk to military recruiters. The Navy offered the biggest bonuses up front.” Trevor shook out his clenched hands and rolled his shoulders.
“Even though I was furious, it was the only way to save the farm from foreclosure. At that point, I didn’t care about my father, but I wanted to take care of my mom. Still, I should have talked to you about all of it, but I was totally ashamed of myself and my dad. Plus, he convinced me that asking you to come along wouldn’t be fair. I’d be on a ship for six months of the year. And he showed me pictures of you at school with other guys he got from proud dads showing off. Including your father, even though by that time, they were clashing over religion.” He’d been such a fool. “I know those were innocent. Just friends and classmates. But at the time, I was so messed up. I talked myself into believing you were unfaithful, and I acted even worse.” He forced himself to look into her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Samantha. You deserved so much better from me, and I failed you.”
Sam nodded. “I figured it was something like that. At the time, I was heartbroken, though. I thought my entire world had ended.” She sucked in a big breath. “Which should have been a big clue that our relationship was all wrong. My happiness shouldn’t have depended entirely on you. That’s too much pressure on you, and that didn’t help, I’m sure.” She snorted. “I was a stage ten clinger.” She shook her head.
Trevor couldn’t hold back his grimace. “Honestly, it wasn’t your fault, but your needs on top of all the others? I couldn’t please anyone. I couldn’t help anyone, not even myself. I spiraled. I looked at the numbers Dad had gotten from the Navy recruiter and signed up the next day. With the signup bonus, I paid off my debts and the late payments on the farm. By the time I got through basic training, I realized I’d been even stupider than I originally thought, but it was too late. I was committed. At least I ended up in accounting and finance, not in a combat job. At the time, I was angry. I wanted to go blow things up.” He snorted. He’d been a fool.
“But that didn’t last long, not after I saw the results of war. But Dad kept messing up. He got behind, and they were going to lose the farm. Again. I volunteered for a tour in Afghanistan because I’d get combat pay. I was accounting and finance and thought I’d be safe on a base. But what I didn’t know was the US was paying off a lot of warlords to keep our troops safe. And that was my job. I took cash to bad guys. When I was lucky, we flew, but most of the time, I was embedded in a convoy with a big bag of US bills. Half the time, we got ambushed because that warlord knew we were coming, or someone on the other side was watching for us. Eventually, the odds caught up with me, and I lost the leg. But others lost far more, including way too many lives.”
He hated remembering that time. He’d still been so immature, so sure his life was over, despite how much worse it could have been. “Fortunately, counseling was mandatory. I started getting my head on straight about the injury, and I understood how abusive my family situation was. Meanwhile, good old Dad kept up with your father, just to send me updates on how well you were doing. Lots of pictures of you in fancy clothes, at events. He made sure I knew how successful you were and what a disappointment I was. While trying to get more money out of me.” His father was a bully and a user.
“You know I don’t talk to my father, right?” Sam’s nose wrinkled, like she smelled something bad. “I haven’t spoken with him since my second year of college. After those first two years, he insisted I ‘know more than any woman should’ and that I had to quit school and marry one of his church buddies.” She shuddered. “A guy his age whose wife had died in questionable circumstances. After I told him no, and he kept yelling about how I belonged to him and owed him, I cut off all contact. I send my mom birthday cards, but that’s it. Anything he sent you must have been from a school newspaper or a press release. Or one of his friend’s kids is on the ‘evil’ social media.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve told Mom that if she wants to leave him, she can live with me, but I’ll never talk to him again. Never.”
Trevor dropped his head back against the rock behind him. “I’m so sorry, Sam. No wonder you hated me. Your family betrayed you, then I did too. I didn’t know it had gotten that bad.”
“No one did.” She shook her head. “Like you, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want anyone to know how I’d been raised. Erin and Deb knew to some extent, but I never told them how bad it got. After that ultimatum, like you, I rebelled against everything. I studied really hard, to keep my scholarships, but I dated a lot of guys. And some of them were older and rich, men I’d met while I was dating Andreas. After we broke up, one of them tracked me down. He wasn’t that much older than me, so I didn’t think much of it. I only went out with him twice, but that led to other introductions.” She looked down at the water. “I didn’t hesitate to take their gifts because I couldn’t afford the designer clothes expected at the events the wealthy attended. Besides, for those guys, an evening gown was the equivalent of a latte for a student. Dating those men, I learned how to move in those circles, how to fit in.” Sam grimaced.
“Or I thought I did, but I was wrong. During a law internship, I fell for a fellow intern. His family was wealthy, and he took me to expensive places, on vacations, bought me stuff.” She snorted. “I thought it was true love. But in reality, he was slumming with me. After he brought me to a fancy benefit ball, his fiancée tracked me down.” She stared at the water, shaking her head.
“I had no idea he was engaged. They published the formal announcement while we were together at his family’s estate in the Hamptons, so it was old news by the time we got back. It wasn’t until his fiancée shoved the invite for the engagement party into my hand that I knew. I stormed out of the bathroom, slapped his face, and called him a cheat in front of the entire room. His father caught me on my way out and told me they’d pay me but to not bother returning for the rest of my internship. They didn’t need a charity case distracting the heir. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.”
She shuddered. “It was like a regency romance novel come to life. I took their guilt money because I needed it, but I never spoke with any of them again. I changed my emphasis area so I wouldn’t have to team up with William or any of his rich business law friends. I kept to myself, studied, and graduated with honors. I had a few offers from big law firms but wanted nothing to do with them. They’re all liars and cheats, protecting each other while crushing the poor under their designer shoes. Using others is expected.” She sighed. “I didn’t intend to return to Marcus, but one of my friends from another law school was opening a firm and wanted a partner. I missed my real friends and Montana. But I learned my lesson, that’s for sure. I stay in my place.” She stared into the distance.
Trevor’s heart ached. He’d bet that last year in law school was miserable and lonely. She’d probably faced lots of accusations and bullying for trying to rise above her childhood. He wanted to pull her into his arms, holding her tight, but he’d given up that right a long time ago. “And I’d abandoned you. Betrayed you. Then when I come back, I act like one of those privileged asses. I’m so sorry, Sam. So sorry. And I’m in awe. You not only survived a terrible experience, but you didn’t become bitter.”
She finally looked at him. “Apology accepted. I’ve done a lot of counseling since then, and I know those people were sociopaths. They have so much money, they never have to deal with the consequences of their actions.” Her mouth twisted for a moment. “It was a hard lesson to learn, but in the end, I’m stronger for it. I know how many of the ultra-wealthy feel and act and I’m able to deal with them easier. I can’t cross them recklessly, or I’ll never make a living, but my pro bono work is usually for a woman on the wrong side of a rich man. I know exactly where to stick the needles and blow holes in their egos. It’s usually enough to make them pay. Having people like Tom Borde on my side helps too. His family is well respected, and he’s rich enough to make them pay attention while staying out of their ridiculous games. I’m glad he found Wiz. He needed someone like her.”
He hadn’t asked about her relationship with Tom, but she’d been kind enough to allay his unwarranted jealousy, anyway. “And what do you need?” Trevor asked, even though he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.
“Nothing.” A half-smile graced her lips. “Well, that’s not true. I need to stay alive. I need my business to survive. I appreciate having friends. If I find the right guy someday, I’ll be thrilled, but I don’t need a man to be happy. I make myself happy. I try to do some good in the world to balance out the evils in our legal system and make others happy. It’s a simple life, but one I love.”
“I’m glad you’ve found a balance, Sam.” He reached out, offering his hand, palm up. “I won’t lie. I’d like to be the man who makes you happier. I’d love to have a family with you someday, with kids we’d support and love like we support and love each other. But I know that despite the chemistry we still have, I need to earn your forgiveness. I was awful.” He shuddered, despising the decisions he’d made.
She looked at his hand but didn’t take it. “You were terrible. I truly hated you for a long time. I appreciate the explanations, although I would have forgiven you without them because clearing my soul is for me, not you.” She gazed into his eyes. “We’ll keep talking and see where we go from here, okay?” She raised her hands out of the water, wriggling her fingers. “But for now, we should return to the car and get going. I’m turning into a prune.”
He had a job to do, and it wasn’t getting his girlfriend back, no matter how much he wanted that. Nor was it kissing her into a relationship. She said talk, not act. “You’re right. Survival first.” Putting his hands on the rock wall, he surged out of the pool.
“Hey!” Sam scowled at him. “Thanks for the shower.”
“Sorry.” He hadn’t meant to drench her, but he had to avoid temptation. He reached down, offering his hands to help her out. She put her hands in his, and he half-pulled, half-steadied her until she was firmly on her feet.
“Thanks.” She slid the hoodie on, hiding her gorgeous body, and drank deeply from a water bottle.
Trevor put his outerwear back on and copied her with the water bottle. Hydration was key to clear thoughts. Back on the road, they’d need to figure out their next steps. He shouldered his bag, and they walked the trail back to the parking lot. They both dressed, then they settled back into the Jeep.
On their way back to the highway, Trevor rolled his shoulders. His body was loose and relaxed. “Thanks for the suggestion. Soaking was a good idea.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “It certainly made a difficult conversation easier.”
It would have been even better if they weren’t running for their lives. “That it did. Too bad we couldn’t have stayed and watched the stars. Had a drink, too.”
“That’s a nice dream.” She huffed. “Maybe someday.”
Someday was better than never. He’d take it and work on making someday into soon.
Assuming they survived, of course.
Chapter fifteen
