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Aviss chuckled. “No surprise there. But don’t resign yet. I think we can make it work if you want to.”
Trevor frowned at her. “How? You need security I won’t have as a home business.” He put the plate down.
“There’s an FBI office in Missoula, remember?” Aviss rinsed the dish and put it in the rack. “Special Agents are relatively easy to come by, but forensic accountants are hard to find, and I can’t see a case where I won’t need one. In the end, it always comes down to money.”
Trevor laughed. “Well, that’s certainly true. Okay. We can make it work.” Maybe, just maybe, he could have it all; love, life, and a career that meant something.
Aviss knocked her shoulder into his. “I got this. Go talk to Sam. Get it all out there if you haven’t, because you never know.”
“Yeah. Thanks.” He grabbed his backpack and trotted up the stairs. Aviss was absolutely right. Tomorrow could be too late. He had to risk it all—mind, body, and heart—tonight.
Chapter twenty-one
Sam patted her face dry, then smoothed lotion on. It wasn’t the expensive brand she used at home, but it was better than nothing. Montana’s lack of humidity was aging. She snorted softly. Erin’s mom must be haunting her, pontificating on the wonders of the latest wrinkle-preventing serum. To be fair, Sharlene looked more like an older sister than a mom. But she also had the emotional bandwidth of a cat, along with the killer instincts and the need to play with her prey.
After pulling a t-shirt on, she returned to the bedroom, selecting the bed farthest from the door. She pulled back the covers and put her pistol on the table between the two full-size beds. Carrying a weapon had quickly become a habit. Which seemed crazy. Living and working alone, she’d always been cautious, but never paranoid—she lived in small-town Montana, not a big city.
Sliding under the covers, she leaned against the headboard. Exhaustion rode her, but she was restless, too. Probably worrying too much about tonight, tomorrow, and the future. A future that, with luck, would be back in her office, working on routine documents.
But that was also a life without Trevor Mills.
No matter how horrible he’d been and how hard she fought it, her heart wanted him and only him. Every other man left her cold, regardless of how amazing they might be. She was a baby duck, imprinted on one man.
Even worse, he’d changed and grown into someone she admired and liked. But his life was with the FBI, back east, not in Marcus. Was she willing to put her heart, life, and living on the line for him again?
Earlier, she’d been ready to do just that. But the more she considered the idea, the less she liked it. Closing her practice, starting from nothing, living in an apartment in a crowded city? The mere thought made her shudder. And adding the risk that Trevor might change his mind about her again, leaving her emotionally and physically bankrupt, made it a difficult leap.
Her feelings weren’t fair to Trevor because he’d demonstrated she was a priority. But after all she’d endured from men who should have put her first, could she believe him?
She fluffed her pillow and slid down in the bed. Aviss was right—she needed sleep. She’d rest and be ready for action. They’d talk after the meeting. She should probably talk to her therapist first, but that wouldn’t happen soon.
A quiet tap on the door sent her bolting upright, pulling the covers over her chest. “Yes?”
Trevor opened the door. “You’re still awake. Good.”
She shook her head. “I was just about to sleep.”
He crossed the room and sat on the other bed. “Can we talk for a minute, first?”
Sam sighed and shook her head. “This will be a difficult conversation. We should wait until after the meeting.”
“No, tomorrow might be too late. You don’t have to say anything. Just listen.”
She couldn’t do that, because he deserved her honesty. “I’m sorry. I’m really struggling, because I don’t want to leave my friends, my living, or Marcus. Uprooting my life is terrifying.” No matter how much she wanted to be with him, she wasn’t sure she could take that step.
The corners of his mouth lifted. “I’m not asking you to.”
Confirmation that she wasn’t enough for him, or anyone, speared her heart. Her eyes slammed shut, hiding her agony. She’d been right to put herself first, but that was cold comfort. A thud opened her eyes.
Trevor kneeled next to her bed, reaching for her hand. She pulled both away, unable to bear his touch.
“No, no, no.” He shook his head violently. “I’m moving. It’s well past time for me to change for you.” He gripped the edge of the bed, his face pinched. “You are my home. I don’t care about my job, my life, my house—nothing matters without you. Nothing.” He smiled tremulously. “I love you, and I’ll give up everything for you. You have my heart and soul. The rest is just stuff, and I don’t care about it. But only if you can truly forgive me.” He swallowed hard and gazed into her eyes. “Because if you can’t, this won’t work. I was immature, stressed, and stupid, but that’s no excuse for hurting you so badly. I didn’t need to be cruel. I was, because I was a coward. I knew that if I talked to you, I’d give up my plan, and I was convinced it was the only way. I had so much stupid pride and not nearly enough trust. I couldn’t see any alternatives or even bear to consider them. I was such a sniveling coward.” He looked down. “I really don’t see how you can possibly forgive me.”
Sam put a finger under his chin, raising his head. “I do. You’re right, you were horrible. But we were both young and stupid. Maybe we could have found a solution together, or we might have fallen apart. It’s too late to know, and it doesn’t matter.” She smiled and cupped her hands around his face. “It’s funny. I’d just been thinking about how much I still loved you, but putting your needs ahead of mine seemed so risky. I know that wasn’t fair to you, but after reliving my past so recently, I was in a terrible headspace. With everything you’ve done for me, I shouldn’t need a grand gesture from you.” She snorted. “You probably deserve one from me. But I’m grateful because that was the one thing holding me back.” She smiled, blinking to clear the joy welling in her eyes and her heart. “Really, when I found out you’d bought the house behind mine, it got me started down the path. But your honesty just sealed the deal. I love you too.” She twisted and lowered her mouth to his, trying to show her love with her kiss.
Trevor surged up, keeping his lips on hers, and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her back on the bed. Sam opened her mouth, welcoming him deeper, getting lost in the heat of his love. The rattle of her phone on the nightstand drew his mouth from hers. She tried to hold him, but he pulled away.
“Blast and rad.” He loosened his arms but didn’t let her go. “Movement near the end of the driveway.” Grimacing, he drew back and stood, picking up both of their bags.
