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“Yes, well… Thankfully, most battles take place firmly planted on the ground.”
Nakoa hummed thoughtfully. “I’d bet good money that once you learn how to fly properly, I won’t be able to keep you out of the sky.”
I shook my head, not even able to consider that at this moment… And drifted back to the previous day’s events, all at once stealing away the comfort and joy in this moment.
“… There’s something I need to tell you… About yesterday.”
Nakoa’s fingers dug into me as if trying to tamp down his reaction to the memory.
“The males you rescued me from… They were a part of your Uprising.”
Nakoa’s voice dropped to a growl. “I know…Forgive me.”
I reared back, still forcing my gaze away from the ground far too many hundreds of feet below us.
“It’s not your fault that they?—
“Itismy fault. It is my fault that I have not been a more shrewd judge of character towards those I allowed to join its ranks.”
I shook my head. That was too much responsibility for any one person to bear.
“Nakoa…How?How would you be able to determine such a thing?”
“My Knowingness. If I had only thought to ask. I’d only had them swear their loyalty - no matter their character - for the sake of numbers. And I selfishly ignored the implications of that.”
“You can’t help the fact that someone who might be loyal and valiant on the battlefield might be absolute scum the second they step off it.”
I had witnessed this firsthand. Males and females who had won awards of valour during the war, I’d also witnessed committing unspeakable acts. My thoughts drifted briefly back to Galvor, the burly fae warrior and guard who had protected me, in a genuinely selfless act, on the battlefield on a singular occasion but had decided to hang it over my head for the last 70 years in an attempt to lure me into his bed.
If the war had taught me anything, it was that no one was ever completely good or completely evil.
And based on Nakoa’s silence, he knew it too.
“It’s not your fault, Nakoa… You know just as well as I do that those same males would have done exactly the same thing even if they weren’t part of The Uprising.”
Nakoa remained silent as the truth of my words sunk in. Having fought in the war himself, I had no doubt that he had witnessed his fellow warriors committing abominable acts. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had known the males that had raped and killed Malekai’s mother.
My thoughts began to drift back towards my own violent pastbeforejoining Zurie’s army… None of the males that had forced themselves on me had been in Zurie’s army…
I felt Nakoa’s body tense further, likely sensing where my thoughts had drifted, being this close to him. I cleared my throat, trying to redirect our thoughts and emotions.
“Where is everyone anyway? They stayed at that horde’s camp?”
Nakoa grunted in affirmation.
“I feel like maybe… I should glamor my wings… I don’t think I have the energy to explain. Not that I would know where to begin anyway.”
Nakoa frowned. “I don’t like the idea of you having to mask yourself…I’ve been doing it my entire life… Myolana kah’heiare theonlyones who I trust with my true form… If there was anyone you could trust, it would be them… Not to mention… Your wings are far too beautiful to hide away when it's not absolutely necessary…”
I dared a peak up from his chest to find a soft grin curling a corner of his mouth, gaze fixed on the horizon until it dipped to meet mine.
“It would bring me tremendous joy for you to be comfortable enough not to glamor yourself around them… I can explain as best I can to them for you… But the decision is yours.”
I nodded gradually, deciding to take this small leap of faith. I’d avoided attention whenever and wherever possible, confining myself to the shadows since I’d left the Erosyan Temple. And it had left me feeling alone and isolated. Malekai had been my only reprieve from that, and even so… I hadn’t confided in him about most of my aspirations, longings, or past.
“Ok… I’ll trust you in this.”
Nakoa’s lips parted for a moment as he took in my open expression before a grin overtook his face, and he pressed his lips to my forehead.
