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Regardless, I felt a deeply rooted sense of determination to see this through. It was time for Zurie’s reign to end. And I had every intention of fulfilling my vow to help him rule this Kingdom. Even if it wasn’t in the way a King and Queen would typically rule…
I recognized that this whole thing was so much greater than us… Miroslav’s earlier mention of potential threats from Ishra, Hades, Maimyo mo Qì, and the realms beyond… Gave me a profoundly unsettling and ominous sensation that weighed heavily in the pit of my stomach… And somehow, I couldn’t help but feel it was tied to who orwhatwas connected to those dreams… and the pythos…
So that the world may be born anew…
Those words echoed in my mind from my dream…
What if killing Zurie was only the beginning and not the end?
Phaedra had already warned us that all of this extended far beyond Atratus…
The sound of a bath tap turning on snapped me out of my downward spiral. I looked up to find Nakoa striding towards the opposite side of the room, where a large copper tub sat. He willed his clothes away, baring the sight of his perfectly sculpted backside. The tether between us pulled painfully tight at the distance between us. Not physically but emotionally… It felt like a chasm that held only a single fraying rope to connect us.
How much longer could I endure this?
Something needed to change.
We might notloveeach other… We certainly had our differences… But that didn’t mean we needed to be enemies.
I heaved a deep, fortifying sigh as I steeled myself for what I was about to do. Eventually, I forced myself to sit up and make my way towards Nakoa. His handsome, scarred face set in an expression that someone who wasn’t tethered to him might assume was neutral or indifferent… but I could very clearlyfeelwhat laid behind that mask. Turmoil. Pain. Longing. Frustration.
It took several moments before his gaze finally lifted to mine.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
Surprise flickered in his eyes briefly. “By all means.”
I willed away my clothes, and I didn’t miss the way his eyes flared briefly before he forced his gaze away. The water was just on the cusp of being too hot, which meant it was utterly perfect as I sank beneath the water on the other end of the tub. A groan I hadn’t realized needed to be released was dragged out of me. Our legs puzzled together, and I couldn’t deny the rightness and relief the sensation gave me.
Just as I’d finally managed to piece together some words I thought might be a constructive way to begin, Nakoa broke the silence.
“I’m sorry, Mareina… I won’t lie and say thatpartof my actions aren’t driven by my need to overthrow Zurie. That everything I’ve done and said wasn’t,in part, an attempt influenced by that… But there ismore…And I have tried to fight against it. I don’t want to anymore. I just want you. I want what we could have.Between us.”
His words returned that aching sensation to my chest, tight and heavy. As reassuring as he might have intended them to be…
“But is it just the bond? If it weren’t for the bond, you would have killed me… Much less chosen me to be your fated mate.”
Nakoa held my gaze, jaw clenching.
“I wasn’t lying when I said that I was certain you would be the best Queen Atratus has ever known…”
I huffed a sad laugh, unable to look him in the face any longer as tears swelled in my eyes.Again.
Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to be in Malekai’s arms right now.
“That has nothing to do with it.”
“That has everything to do with it.”
I shook my head. “Let’s pretend for a moment that The Kahlohani Islands didn’t need liberating. That your people weren’t living in squalor and exile… That you didn’t need to become King. You didn’t need a Queen to rule beside you. You could live your life freely and as you pleased. And we weren’tsoulbound.Would you still wantme?”
He looked shocked by the question. With every passing moment, I sank deeper into the tub and into my despair. His silence had said enough.
“… I don’t know, Mareina…"
The fact his admission was not surprising did nothing to soften the blow of his indecision… Perhaps it was what I deserved. For all that I had done, all the suffering I had inflicted on others… Why would he have willingly chosen me?
"Would you have chosenmeif things had been different? If we hadn't been enemies. And..." His jaw flexed with anger. "If you weren't pining over the male I've seen you with in my visions."
