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She made her way back down the stairs and strode towards Rayne, who watched her with no small amount of admiration. He glanced up at me briefly, giving me a short but no less appreciative nod as if I’d just done him a favor.
My chest tightened with anxiety as I approached Nakoa, who was silently preparing Pumpkin. My mind warring with indecision about whether or not I should heed Nakoa’s Mother’s warning innottelling him the truth about Zurie being his birth mother.
“Hey…”
Nakoa’s gaze flicked to mine, sadness and resignation written all over his features even though his voice was hard and cold as stone.
“Yes?”
I reared back, my temper flaring swiftly and brightly, and lowered my voice to a whisper. “I’m not entirely sure whyyou’reangry withme.Did you not volunteer me for the task of killing Zurie alone as if I’m just some disposable sword for hire? Did you not use our bond and pretty lies to manipulate me? Did you not try to use my emotions and developing feelings to get me to fulfil the bond so you could heighten your power?”
Nakoa’s jaw flexed as the corners of his mouth turned down. “Ourpower. And nothing I said was a lie, Mareina. I know I should have done things differently, and when I told you I wanted to do better, you essentially dismissed me. You want to give up already after only having met days ago.”
“Well, you’ve made quite an impression.”
Nakoa stiffened briefly at my words as he finished saddling Pumpkin. Straightening to his full height, he stared down at me. The tether between us felt like it was on fucking fire, but I forced my chin to lift even if I did want nothing more than to run away.
Silent moments passed before Nakoa gradually nodded in acceptance. “I would have hoped mysoulboundand future Queen would understand that sometimes we have to set aside our selfish needs and desires to do what’s best for the Kingdom.”
Would ‘selflessness’ extend to murdering your own mother, however wicked?
Intuitively, I felt his answer would be yes, but it didn’t change the fact that it wasn’t my decision. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to make the confession just yet.
“Yes, well… I would have hoped mysoulboundwouldn’t use me as a pawn in his quest for power... But don’t worry, Vesper’s riding with Rayne, so I won't have to trouble you with my selfishness on our journey to Bastrina.”
I turned on my heel and left, practically sagging against Chihiro when I reached him on the other end of where the horses were lined up.
* * *
As if we were all holding our breath in anticipation of confronting Zurie, the journey to Bastrina over the next two days was all but silent. I’d ridden mostly beside Pomona, and my peripheral mind had remained dually focused on both Malekai and Nakoa.
As much as I’d craved Malekai’s presence throughout the journey, I hadn’t wanted to cause any unnecessary animosity between him and Nakoa by doing so. Malekai, thankfully, seemed to become fast friends with Val, Lokus, and Roderick. Each evening, the three of them sat together like a tiny den of thieves.
Now that Vesper had been sharing Rayne’s tent, that left me with the spare tent, and Malekai had his own.
On the last night before we’d reached Zurie’s palace, we’d stopped early for the evening in a small town just outside Bastrina, having all agreed that if this was to be our last night alive in this realm, we would treat ourselves to an actual bed at an inn. And despite the sheer joy I felt at the promise of a hot bath, the fact that there weren’t enough rooms for me to have my own was… a significant blow. I had to share one with Nakoa.
Everyone had chosen to eat in their rooms, including Nakoa, who hesitated silently as we stood at the tavern's bar paying.
“You can bathe first… I’ll eat down here,” I offered.
He gave a neutral grunt before turning and heading up the stairs towards the room.
“I’ll eat down here with ya, lass,” a warm, rumbly voice behind me said. I turned to face Val, who gave me a look of compassion. Roderick sidled up next to me. “Same.”
My eyes wandered for Malekai. “He went up to the room he’s sharing with Lokus,” Roderick clarified.
The innkeeper reappeared with several clean beer steins he began filling from a keg tap. “You can have a seat. I’ll have the barmaid bring it all to your table.”
The tavern was only crowded by half. We were close enough to the city that unease clenched my gut when a few patrons did a double-take when they saw me, to then quickly avert their eyes.
Perhaps I should have eaten in the room.
We sat at a table in one of the rear corners, and I left my hood up lest I draw any more unwanted gazes.
Val and Roderick sat across from me. The former scratched his beard while the latter scrubbed at the stubble of his normally clean-shaven face, making a rhythmic, coarse scratching noise.
“How do you feel about tomorrow?” Val asked.
