AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I also knew I’d never change his mind. He’d come from tremendous privilege. He didn’t know any better. He’d gone against the grain, denied his parents' wishes to join their world of aristocracy and politics, and had chosen to become a warrior. He had joined the war efforts to protect his people. And he had worked just as hard as I did to get here. I loved and admired him for that.
I highly doubted that I would have chosen this path if I hadn’t been through what I had... If I’d had, literally,anyother resources or opportunities, I couldn't fathom I'd have joined Zurie’s Army.
Such was the origin of most of those at her command.
Sweet, sweet irony.
And regardless of his views on society, I knew better than anyone that he didn’t enjoy murdering anyone. I knew that executing and putting the heads of those in The Uprising on pikes would plague him. He seemed to manage his conscience successfully by justifying his actions with the reasoning that he was doing it to protect Atratus. That he was doing little evil for the greater good.
I was no longer holding that delusion.
“You didn’t sell your soul, Mareina… You chose to rise above the shitty circumstances that you were born into, and sometimes that means standing on the shoulders of others.”
I disagreed, and his words did absolutely nothing to alleviate my guilt.
“And if you did sell your soul, then mine is right there with it, and there’s nowhere in all the realms I’d rather it be.”
I huffed a mirthless laugh. “I’m pretty certain it’s in the lowest of all the hell realms.”
Malekai gave me a challenging look. “Whether it’s in the hell realms or the divine realms, I don’t actually give a fuck so long as it’s with you. ”
I held his gaze, seeing the truth in his words, before I resigned myself to resting my head on his chest.
The weathered lump of coal that remained of my heart gave a fluttering thump. Like it was trying to sprout wings.
His arms came around me, firm and unyielding.
“If you want me to burn the world down for you, Mareina, all you have to do is ask.”
“And what does that mean exactly, Malekai?”
Malekai’s brows lifted as though surprised I’d asked. As though I were actually considering it.
“Whatever you want it to. You wanna leave all this behind and hide somewhere in the Yatól orBein Sith MórMountains? Let’s go. You want me to kill Zurie, so you don’t have to worry about her chasing us? I’m not entirely sure I’d survive, but I’d certainly fucking try for you. If you asked me to cut off my right nut just because you were feeling peckish, I fucking would... I mean… I’d try to convince you to maybe snack on something else first, but if it meant that I got to be with you, I’d do it at the drop of a fucking coin.”
I longed for a future with him. And as soon as I got back, I would give him everything I had left within me and fucking pray to the gods that it was enough.
What I didn't want, however, was for him to risk his life in the process by trying to kill Zurie.
You don't deserve him, that insidious voice whispered in my mind.
That familiar fear returned.
Would I just be throwing away everything for fleeting satisfaction?
A second tendril of fear returned. The one that swore as soon as I gifted myself this happiness that it would be stolen from me.
Malekai nudged me with his head to draw me out of my thoughts.
“Please, let’s not part on a sour note. You know the rule, Kalini.”
Never leave on bad terms.
A corner of my mouth quirked. Something about the way he used my surname always made me soften towards him. It brought back all thegoodmemories of us in the army together. All of the history we had. All the times we’d saved one other’s lives.
“Fine… I’m not sour,” I relented dourly.
He chuckled, imitating me in a whiney voice.“Fine, I’m not sour.”
