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The inverted torch was supposed to represent the extinguishing of life and the wings being liberated from the body that shackles us to this realm and carries us into the next.
I glanced back down the alley to find an even larger depiction of the symbol.
“So creepy.”
Malekai chuckled, piquing a brow at me as he blew out a lungful of dream leaf smoke.
“Toyou? The fearless and feared Royal Irae?”
I gave him a challenging look. “They literally pray for the world to end.”
"Have you been sleeping much lately?"
Malekai's question caught me off guard, the concern in his voice blatant. I took a deep breath, eyes locked on the triple moons' glittering reflection on the Atratus.
"No less than usual."
A corner of Malekai's mouth tilted low.
"So not at all then."
I shrugged. "Not always."
Malekai remained silent for a moment, taking another puff from the dream leaf cigar he'd rolled before passing it to me. The dream leaf helped ease the tension in my neck, alleviating my headache. Unfortunately, its effects wouldn't last long enough for it to help me sleep, as its name would suggest.
Dream leaf was often smoked or brewed as tea; the effect could last several hours for humans. It would last an hour or so for the fae, like Malekai and other immortals. But thanks to being sanguinati, it only lasted me 15-20 minutes. It also made me awfully hungry, and my canines had begun to ache, longing to bite and drink.
My heart stalled in my chest at the sight of the palatial building that came into view from where we stood on a bridge that held a rather impressive view of the city. The Erosyan Temple, for the last eighty years, had been a glittering, white and garnet domed, stone cathedral… Objectively speaking, it was indeed an impressive sight. However, when I had lived there, it had been an enormous but claustrophobic wooden and carpeted maze of rooms and secret hallways…
A few short years after I'd left, much to my satisfaction, the whole place had been reduced to ashes… It was no surprise, considering patrons smoked all manner of mind and mood-altering substances, not to mention all of the bowls of cloying incense that someone could easily have accidentally nudged too close to one of the heavy drapes.
I'd only wished that I'd thought to burn it down myself.
Gods. How did we even end up here?
Fucking dream leaf.
Malekai followed my gaze, expression tensing when he found my focal point and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. The muscles in my body seemed to relax all at once, and I hadn't even noticed how tense they were. He wordlessly guided me in the opposite direction, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
I'd never told Malekai what had happened in the Erosyan Temples, but I imagine he assumedsomethinghad occurred. On the few occasions he'd asked about my time there, I'd always deviated from the more traumatic of events. The horrors that'd occurred there had caused me to curl in on myself and hide. I'd spent the last 120 years carefully crafting my disguise- the hardened, cold warrior that had risen to the top of Queen Zurie's ranks.
Speaking aloud the things that had, at one time, broken me was unthinkable. Not to mention, confessing to Malekai what had happened would cause him pain. And there was nothing that could be done about it. The ones who had stolen what they'd wanted from me were lost to the realm, and I had no way nor desire to find them, with only one exception. Whom I had found and killed.
A year after joining Zurie's Army, I discovered that wreaking vengeance did nothing to heal hidden wounds. In fact, it only served to make them more raw.
The male's death had come to me easily. He hadn't even remembered me. He’d not only been the first male to have entered my body, despite that I'd nearly clawed his eyes out trying to stop him, but he was also the first person I'd ever killed. I'd followed him home after happening upon him in a pub to see him for the sad, sick male he was. When my sword had removed his head, it felt more like a mercy kill than anything.
Malekai passed me his cigar before bringing his hands to the tense muscles of my neck, squeezing and kneading and making me groan in relief as I exhaled the dream leaf in a billowing cloud. A wave of gentle euphoria washed over me, easing the tightening in my chest and carrying the painful memories away. A blessed giggle bubbled up within me.
Malekai chuckled behind me, further fueling my laughter.
"What's so funny,tessari mú?"
My treasure.
I chuckled all the more. "I have no idea."
Malekai's chuckle grew into something warm and hearty before he turned and pulled me into his arms. The perennially effusive warmth radiating from his chest instantly eased the tension in my muscles. I peeked up at his smiling face, grinning from ear to ear. The sight quite literally stole my breath away.
