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“We could always make flatbread,” I remind her.
“No, your mom asked for a loaf, and she’s going to get it. I’ll be back,” she shouts, grabbing her bag. “Don’t let them turn black,” is the last thing I hear as she’s out the door.
“Is that Isa?” Mama hollers from her room. “Where’s she off to?”
“Never mind,” I reply, grabbing the remote to the Holo-Vision and turning down the volume.
“Come sit with me,” she says, pulling the blankets around her chin. “Tell me how it went last night.” I can feel blood flushing against my cheeks at her words. “I see that smile.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” she scoffs. I want to hold it in, afraid to believe that it's real at all, but I just can’t. I may not be able to talk to Isa yet, but I have to tell someone.
“Oh, Mama.” Rushing to her bedside with a furrowed brow, I feel I can trust her with my secret. “I think I’m in deep. I know I just met him, it's way too soon, but he's right for me. I just know it.”
“Well, of course he is, Sophia. It’s as plain as day on your face, he lights you up. I haven't seen you like this since before the war.” It’s true, I have been feeling the weight of the war for far too long. I can't even remember the last time I had something to smile about.
“But seriously, Mama, a Kaleidian warrior? How in the hell is that supposed to work?”
“You have to open your mind to it. Anything’s possible, dear.” Admittedly, the prospect of it has been buzzing in my brain for hours. It's addictive, I have to say. Like watching a Holo-Vision show of my life, I could waste away at it, dreaming of a better future. One without food lines, medicine shortages, and the constant fear that the Alliance will come.
“He could take us to Kalei.” The fantasies begin playing in my mind, verdant with the lush forests of his homeworld.
“Yes, he could.” She places her hand on my arm. She may have a point, that I just need to open myself up to the idea of it.
“Maybe he could get us on a ship, and we could go live there. You, me, Isa. It could work. Kalei is beautiful, at least, from what I’ve heard. Drex and I could buy a house big enough for all of us.” But is it possible, is it even worth considering? If Isa were here, listening to us now, she’d say it was too good to be true.
Suddenly, I hear my kitchen timer going off. I reach the dehydrator just as the shebangs are beginning to blacken and turn it off. Grabbing my mortar and pestle, I slip them one by one into the bowl and crush them into a fine powder. It’s back-breaking work.
In ten minutes, I'm in a full sweat with pain arching up my wrist and elbow. But the crunch of each shebang under the pestle brings me back to my mother’s advice.
I had never been one of those girls. The kind who hope to trap a soldier into marriage just to get a ride off this planet. I get why they do it, of course. I could just never be one of them.
My situation is different. I have dependents. My time with Drex has only made me dreamy with a hope I never dared hope before. For a comfortable life. A full life. Deep down, I know that Armstrong can never give us that. Not anymore. That Armstrong died a long time ago.
The time passes easily, as I fantasize about Drex somehow showing up in the night, asking me to marry him, and taking me from this place forever. Me, my mother, and Isa. Feeling more eager than I have in years, I tip the flour onto the counter just as Isa arrives with the yeast.
“Let’s do this.” She pours the water and yeast into a bowl, mixes them into a frothy concoction, and slowly adds the flour. Watching her hands mix the white substance into a shaggy dough, I remember my date with Drex.
The feeling has me breathing slowly and steadily, remembering his hands on my body and that connection with him. It’s so deep I feel it even now. It's more than love at first sight. And I'm not just some civilian impressed by a strong warrior or a fancy meal. Although being with him did that, too.
Watching the bread rise in the oven, my mind starts to see things as they are. When I'm with Drex, I feel a fullness that has been otherwise denied to me all my life. I don’t have much I can hold onto, not since the battleships first darkened our skies when Armstrong got dragged kicking and screaming into the Centuries War like everyone else. If I can hold onto anything, I want to keep that fullness most of all.
When I pull it from the oven an hour later, my mother can be heard calling from her room. “I smell it! Is that baked bread?” It takes some doing between Isa and myself to get her sitting up at the kitchen table like she used to, but it feels nice once she’s finally there.
The tablecloth, while worn and tattered, shines brilliantly white in front of us. Isa and I found candles and though tonight we eat a meager meal, I know it will feel better than many others we have had before.
“It's a shame that nice Kaleidian fellow can't be here to join us.” Mama gabs with a mouthful of warm bread, smiling like she used to.
“You never know, Mama. Maybe. Anything’s possible.”
10
DREX
“Drex, I want you to pull up details for all the soldiers that have been on detail here for the longest amount of time,” Kyltic says. “I need a list of everyone stationed here in order of when they arrived.” The crease between his big furry blue eyebrows seems deeper today, if that were possible.
“Sure Captain,” I reply. It’s a strange request, but maybe they’re going to send some guys back home on leave. I know better than to question the order. Kyltic is a stickler for keeping the chain of command in check.
