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He nips my lip before he pulls back to meet my blurry stare. I want to tell him that I don’t need sweet or anything sentimental right now. I just want to feel something other than this unending loneliness. But my words are all balled up in my chest being jumbled by my manic heart, even as he cups my face and smiles.
It’s not his usual bobby-dazzler, I’m God’s gift smile, but one that promises things I’m not sure I’m ready for. One that silently says, ‘I see you,’ and I get a little bit lost in him. I become a little less lonely while he continues holding my face, stroking his thumb beneath the rim of my glasses.
“Fuck, Cassidy.” He lets out a long breath, “I’m trying not to be a creepy-ass motherfucker, but damn, I really like you.”
CHAPTER 8
LEIF
“You promised not to be mad at me,” I remind Cassidy as she stares down at the coat and few essentials I had Kami help me shop for while Cassidy was in the bath earlier. Luckily, the city is still operating despite the heavy snow, and even luckier that the hotel is on Fashion Street itself.
“You know how you said you’re trying not to be a creep?”
I cock my brow, tilting my head to the side.
“This is, like, creepy as fuck. You snooped in my laundry pile.”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t sniff your dirty panties.”
“No, you just noted my size. It’s kind of invasive, don’t you think?” Cassidy rolls her eyes, but a teeny, tiny smile quirks up the corner of her mouth when she picks up the Incredible Hulk bobble hat I picked up.
“Tell me you don’t love it.”
“Ugh, you’re really annoying.” She levels me with a glare as she puts the hat on.
Christ alive, she’s every nerd’s wet dream standing there in her skin-tight jeans, my checked shirt, her Hulk bobble hat, and those clear-rimmed glasses that give her a cool librarian look. Topped off with her attitude, I’m really struggling not to throw her on the bed and fuck her through lunch.
Grabbing Cassidy’s hand, I tug her into me and loop my arms around her waist, savouring her sweet scent. My lips are still burning from our kiss, just as my cock is still painfully aware of her.
I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I’m not this guy who easily opens himself up to a woman he’s only just met. Hell, I still have scars from a woman I thought I was in love with. Cassidy is different, though. Her defensiveness tells me she’s been hurt far beyond her father’s passing.
“Didn’t you say we were going to be late two seconds ago?” she asks with a smoky rasp to her voice.
“More like ten minutes ago.” I tighten my hold on her so that our bodies are pressed together, and my face is buried into her hair.
“Then, why are we still swaying to silence in the middle of the bedroom?”
“Because I like dancing with you.”
Cassidy tips her head back, giving me her beautiful face and hypnotising dark eyes. “To silence?”
“No.” I guide one of her hands to my chest and hold it there while I continue swaying with her. “My heart has taken up percussion since I met you. Although, I seem to be wildly out of time with it because the rhythm is a bit more like this…”
Picking up the speed, I turn us about the room so fast that I’m becoming dizzy, and she’s laughing so hard that she’s snorting. This is how I adore her the most. It’s so easy to forget that we’re still getting to know each other, and that in spite of her laughter, she still harbours a lot of pain.
“Leif, stop,” she laughs while I spin her out, then back into me, continuing to sway her faster and faster as my heartbeat picks up. “If I laugh anymore, I’m going to pee myself.”
And I might have a heart attack with the way my heart is leaping out of my chest. Not that this would be a terrible way to go. I haven’t felt this happy for longer than I can remember. My lungs are actually burning with excitement rather than anxiety.
Ever since I retired from rugby, I’ve felt lost, as if the passion had been zapped out of me for good. Since Cassidy has come into my life, she’s brought that ardour back. I feel this urgency to do more with my life than chase a temporary rush or a high that will fade at a second glance. Maybe I’m being optimistic here, but I make Cassidy feel more than her sadness, too, which really goes to highlight that me seeing her at that bar was kismet.
Every once in a while my family surprises me. Today is one of those times. Everyone is quietly watching Cassidy and me, probably waiting for the first question to be fired before they all pounce on her. The biggest surprise is Laiken. By now, he normally would’ve asked enough questions to write a short biography. Not today. Today, he is sitting across from me with his kid strapped to his chest, and a glazed expression on his face as he rubs the baby’s back.
If I’m honest, it’s beginning to irk me. Last night, when I told him I’d brought a guest, he was eager to meet her. After my rugby career blew up overnight, I stopped trusting people. As a result, I haven’t dated since or brought anyone new into our family circle.
That shitshow didn’t just impact me—it hurt my family, too. Mom got so sick that she ended up in hospital for a nervous breakdown that almost led to a heart attack.
My throat grows thick at the memory. The nagging sensation of letting her down and disappointing Dad is as overwhelming as it was then.
