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Matthew
I head to bed early,eager to put an end to this shitty day and hopefully get some much needed rest. I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything at all after my run in with Piper. I know I shouldn’t have been turned on by the sight of her first thing in the morning… Her hair tangled and dirty, sleep still stuck in the corners of her eyes, but it didn’t matter, she was still beautiful and sexy in that loose t-shirt and baggy pants… She’s beautiful no matter what and that’s part of the problem.
It takes me a few minutes to get comfortable, but despite how tired I am my mind won’t stop turning. It’s a good thing that Piper isn’t home right now, the temptation to seek her out and put an end to the distance between us, a distance I created, is almost overpowering.
I can’t stop myself from imagining how good it would be to feel her laying next to me. Her warm body pressed against mine, her hand slipping into my pants and stroking my cock. I remember how good it felt to thrust inside her all those years ago. Maybe I just need a good fuck. It’s been too long, but the thing is, I don’t want anyone but her. All this time I’ve spent fantasizing about her, longing for her, that even though I’m free and capable of fucking anyone I please, nobody could ever add up to her.
I grit my teeth and growl in the back of my throat. Stop it! You can’t fucking have her. Just let her go!
I can’t spend the rest of my life pining after this woman. It won’t amount to anything but heartache for her and for me. This might be difficult now, but it would only be worse later. I know that I’m damaged. I know she deserves better. Hell, she deserves the best.
My mind drifts to that shit head who stopped me outside the gym. What was his name? Stew, that was it. A total loser, in my opinion, but I wonder if Piper would see something in him. Or maybe she has in the past? The thought of her belonging to another man, especially some weasel like Stew Bradford, makes me want to rip the bed spread into pieces. That little prick doesn’t deserve her either. I wonder if she ever…
I quickly change my train of thought. I can’t let that sort of thing enter my mind, not ever. My hands curl into fists and the only thing that saves me from getting up and breaking things is thinking about how nice it would have been to grab her this morning, throw her over my shoulder and carry her back upstairs. Once I had her in my bed I would have ripped off her clothes and fucked her until she was screaming my name. Neither one of us would have gotten back up. I’d have trapped her with me, never let her go, and fucked her until we were both too exhausted to go on.
Then we would lay in each others arms, naked and covered in sweat, recovering our energy so we could do it all over again. I drift asleep to the fantasy of Piper, nestled against my chest, whispering good night into my ear.
* * *
Trapped in a bleak,dark mental hell, I cry out for the only thing my heart truly wants as something startles me awake, saving me from the depths of my blackest nightmare. I sit up, gasping for air, my chest heaving and sweat drenching the sheets. I’m disoriented, and my head is pounding as though a dozen tiny men are inside my skull hammering away. Like many of my other dreams, I have no idea what it was that was happening to me. All I know is that it was terrifying and painful and it left me with a sense of agonizing loss.
“Piper…” I breath her name, vaguely recalling that she was taken from me. That small detail causes me to shudder, the idea of losing her tightening my stomach into a knot.
“It’s okay, I’m right here.”
The voice startles me and I whip my head around to see who it is standing next to me. I instantly regret the swift movement as the throbbing intensifies as a result. Grinding my teeth, I focus on the shadowy figure of Piper. Her hand is on my arm and despite only a faint light spilling in from the hallway, I can see her frown. Did I wake her up? I must have been yelling.
Pulling my arm away, I run my fingers through my hair, trying to shake off the fragments of the nightmare that still have my heart clenching with despair. Piper sits down on the edge of my bed, and I have to resist the urge to pull her to me. I want so badly to hold her, to feel the connection of a human body against my own. The weight of my self imposed solitude is almost too much.
She shouldn’t be in here. I thought I made it clear that she needed to leave me the fuck alone. Still… I can’t help but be grateful that she came to check on me. After everything that has happened, I can tell she still cares about me. I know that’s a problem, but it still makes me feel good.
The light spilling into the room from the hallway isn’t very strong, but as my eyes adjust and I finally allow myself to get a good look at Piper, I can see clearly that she’s still dressed in her work clothes. I glance over at the clock and it reads a little after 2am. She must have just gotten home from the bar. On one hand, I’m glad I didn’t disturb her rest, I know how hard she works. On the other, I’m embarrassed and frustrated that she knows about my nightmares. This was my secret, and my burden to bear. If I wanted other people to know about it, I would have gone crying to a shrink like my mother suggested. The only thing I can hope for at this point is that Piper will pretend this never happened.
Yeah, right.
“Are you okay, Matt?” She asks when I don’t say anything. Her hand moves to my arm again, her palm warm against my bare skin.
I swallow the lump that forms in my throat, my head swimming now as a result of her touch. I don’t look at her face, trying to remain resolute so that I don’t do something we’ll both regret later. My eyes fall to her lap instead, which I realize a second too late isn’t much better.
Her short work skirt always exposes a few inches of her thigh, but with the way she’s sitting even more of her creamy skin is bare. The impulse to reach out and run my hand from her knee to beneath the black fabric is almost overwhelming. I remember just how good her smooth flesh feels against me, and I long to make her squirm as my fingers roam closer to her wetness…
She’s trying to say something to me and I force myself to push away the inappropriate thoughts by raising my gaze to a part of her body that I pray won’t arouse me; her arm. The sleeveless tank top she’s wearing threatens to ruin that plan, but this time when I’m distracted from listening to her it’s not because I’m fantasizing. It’s difficult to tell in the weak light, but after a couple moments of staring I’m sure that what I’m looking at are finger shaped bruises.
Instantly infuriated at the mere thought of someone daring to hurt her, I reach for her elbow and draw her arm close so that I can inspect the injury. My sudden action takes her by surprise, but when she sees what I’m looking at she quickly snatches her arm away. Less than pleased, I finally look back up at her face and let her see the stern, angry expression on mine.
“Who did this to you, Piper?” I only wait for a second or two before deciding that she doesn’t respond to me fast enough. So I press in a booming voice, “Answer me!”
