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“I was just reminding Ave about prom and how you knocked the fuck out of Evan Michaels. And how she might not want to bring boyfriends back to the old shag pad. Gonna be kind of hard to get it on when Murph is beating the hell out of your men.”
“That’s not true. I don’t mind if Avery wants to date. As long as the boy is respectful and understands how to treat her right.”
“Yeah right. Whatever you got to tell yourself, buddy.”
He turns to go back down for another box leaving me and Avery standing alone. “I really don’t mind, you know. If you want to bring someone over.”
The words taste repulsive in my mouth, but I have to eventually make peace with Avery being with someone else. I want her to have every happiness. I just…want her to never find anyone so she will always have to stay with me. I know after all that I can take care of her like she needs to be cared for. I can make sure she’s got everything she needs and wants in life. The only thing I can’t do is the one thing I desperately want to do.
“I should go help Dillion.” I turn to leave before she can tell me she has someone in mind.
Things have been…tense between us since she turned eighteen. Old enough to take but still too damned young for me. Avery has her whole life ahead of her. She should be out in the world exploring who and what she can become and instead I’ve trapped her in another pretty cage. I just can’t let her go. I’ve never been able to.
I know there will be a day I have to release her, to let her go free. Probably somewhere far from me. The only reason she thinks I am the person I am is because she is so sweet and innocent. It would never occur to her that I orchestrated the hiring of her mom, the move they both made so she would be close to me, all because I needed her. All because I looked up one day and saw this sweet little thing looking lost and scared and all alone. And I wanted her. I’ve always wanted Avery.
But Avery isn’t mine and can’t ever be mine. The thought just makes me sad and so damned angry I vibrate with it.
My phone rings and I answer without checking who it is. “Is she there yet?”
Mom. “Yeah, she’s here. We’re moving all her stuff in now.”
“Are you ready to tell her finally?”
Mom is the only person who knows how I feel about Avery. Dillion might suspect but he doesn’t know for certain. But mom lasered in on my fascination and there was no hiding it…or Avery. Over the last three years, she’s taken Avery under her wing and helped me take care of her from afar.
“Mom, you know I can’t. She’s…”
“Too young? She’s eighteen, son. She’s not too young anymore. She’s the perfect age to throw down on the living room floor and show her how important she is to you by making love to her for days.”
“Mom!” It whips out of my mouth, and I have to stop and breathe through the mental image my mom put in my head. “I have to grab more boxes, Mom. I’ll call you later.”
“You better. I want details about what it’s like to live with the woman you love.”
I hang up and start walking again. But the image of Avery lying on the floor of my living room with me between her thighs stays with me. Son of a bitch, this whole idea was a mistake but one I couldn’t keep myself from making. I had to have her close even if the thought of her sleeping in the room right next to mine, seeing her running around in her tiny ass nightclothes and smelling her in every room drives me one step closer to being fully committed because I have lost my fucking mind. I had to have her with me.
Even as I walk her stuff up to my place over and over again, I can’t escape the image of her lying under me until I finally get somewhere private and take my dick out and release the pent-up need I have every time I think about my Avery. The smell of her, the look she gives me when she’s laughing at something funny or when she’s miffed about something, the smooth glide of her skin during one of the rare times I brush against her all make it that much easier -and that much harder- for me to find my pleasure.
Chapter Three
Avery
Things fall into a comfortable ebb and flow during the next week. I had thought being in the same house would mean I saw more of Murphy but that’s not really how things have turned out. He’s gone almost all the time. Sometimes I wonder what he’s doing - especially late at night when he still hasn’t come back.
I can’t help but wonder if he might have found someone and that is what -or who- is keeping him out all the time. The one time we were actually together we tried to watch a movie but got into a fight over what to watch. It ended with him tickling me into submission while I lay under him trying to catch my breath. I thought it might have been promising but afterwards, he’s been acting…different.
A thud on the wall alerts me to the fact he’s home and in his room. I don’t have a lot of furniture yet -Murphy has ordered a bed for me but it’s not here yet. So, I’ve been sleeping on my old mattress on the floor despite Murphy not wanting me to. Another thud has me slowly moving off the beanbag chair I’ve been curled in and slowly putting my book down on the floor beside me.
I hear voices and make my way to the door on my hands and knees. If Dillion and Murphy want some guy time I am completely okay with that. I won’t bother them. I just want to make sure it’s them and not some robber or something. I slowly creep to the door and twist the knob. The door swings open just a crack but it’s enough for me to see a shirtless Murphy sitting on his own beanbag chair. I slide the door open even further so I can acknowledge that I know he’s back, but before I can say anything a female falls into his lap and goes in for a kiss.
I shut the door as fast as I can without it making a noise. My heart stopped when I saw the two of them together and I’m terrified it will never start beating again. I wait soundlessly for what feels like hours. Waiting for the sound of them moving on the other side. Making love. But what I hear is…Murphy’s mother calling for him. She must have opened the front door at the same time I was shutting my bedroom door and that is why I didn’t hear her come in.
“Mom!”
“What the hell are you doing, Murphy? And who is that?”
I run to the bathroom and turn the shower on. I don’t want to know the woman’s name. I don’t want to hear him introduce her to his mother. I don’t want to have to come out and meet her myself. I choke down the bile that’s risen up in my throat and slide down the door. I must still be in shock and that is why I am still walking and talking and not just dying.
I knew this would happen one day. I knew Murphy would eventually start dating someone. I just…thought I had more time. Or maybe this has been happening since he moved out at eighteen. Maybe he’s always brought women here and I’m the only new factor in the situation. I absently rub my chest where the most pain sits, bubbling up like hot lava oozing out of the ground.
