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“At some point, you knew that somebody was going to find you again. There was nowhere that you could run. No corner of the earth secluded enough. No hole deep enough for you to crawl into. Nowhere you can truly be safe. But I will admit that you were able to hide the truth about your family for years, and that’s pretty impressive. The truth will come out, I always say. One way or another.”
“I don’t… I don’t understand what you’re—”
“No more lies, pet.” Daniel’s eyes dart to me in warning. My jaw snaps shut audibly as a cold dagger of fear lances through me.
“It doesn’t matter who I am. Y-you’ve already caught me,” I stammer, fumbling over the words.
“Oh, but it does,” he bites. “If I had known that you were Alek’s sister, I would have killed you with your own cello strings the moment I found you.”
My blood runs cold. My eyes widen in shock and disbelief. How does he know that name? Alek’s name isn’t tied to anything. All records of him were sealed a long time ago. Abram made sure of that. He made sure that we didn’t use any names or documents that made mention of my birth name. He couldn’t have traced Alek back to me. It’s impossible.
Isn’t it?
“I don’t know who you—”
The back of Daniel’s hand collides with my face before I even see him move. Pain explodes across my cheek and spiderwebs outward as I am hurled sideways on the bed. I scramble to put distance between Daniel and myself, but he grabs hold of my good ankle, and pulls me right back where I was. He balances on one knee on the bed, and I am not stupid enough to speak again.
“No. More. Lies,” Daniel grinds out between his teeth.
I want to cry. I feel tiny and trapped. My heart is a hummingbird in my chest, and I can’t pull my hand from the side of my face.
“Okay!” I say too softly. “I don’t know how you know Alek… but I haven’t spoken to him since I was fifteen! I swear it! I don’t know where he is… he won’t care where I am or what you do to me. I’m no good to you if you have history with him!”
I'm speaking too quickly. My tongue is lagging behind my mind, and I'm stumbling over my words. I hate trembling, but I can't stop myself. I want to wipe Daniel's hateful expression away. I want him to soften once more. I want him to appear challenged and aroused—thatI can handle. I want him to look at me like he did when he was fixingmy ankle.
My hand trembles violently as I reach toward Daniel. I don’t know why I did it… I guess I thought that if I touched him, maybe I could make him believe me. I would be able to get through to him or something, but he doesn’t give me the chance.
“So, you’re saying that if I sent word out right now that I had you captive, he wouldn’t even bother trying to come and get you? You really expect me to believe that?!”
“I don’t know! He didn’t care the last time the world thought I was dead! Not a word. Not a letter. Nothing since I was fifteen Daniel, I swear…. Iswear.” My fingers curl into a soft fist as I pull my hands back toward my chest. Daniel puts his other knee on the bed and moves forward, pinning my thighs between his legs as he stares down at my face. I feel completely vulnerable.
“Keep talking,” he commands, but he doesn’t seem half as angry as he did before.
“My f-father never wanted us to be close. Alek was the favorite. He was the one who was indispensable. I wanted to prove myself to our dad—I wantedsomebodyto be proud of me. When father finally gave me a mission, I was determined to prove myself. Ihadto see it through to the end. He said that it only made sense for me to kill Nikolai’s father since nobody knew that I existed. He never publicly claimed me so that I could be kept safe… or so he said. Then Alek left, and I was all that he had. I wanted to be a good daughter. I thought that I was ready… But I failed… I failed…”
Now the words have started pouring out of me, I can’t stop them. I can feel the tears running down the sides of my face, but I can’t wipe them. I’m rooted to the spot.
“I ran home… and he followed me. At least, I think he followed me. I don’t know how else he would have found the way to our estate—and he murdered my father with his own two hands. I don’t see how else he could have broken in. My father liked to work late nights. I usually brought cocoa into his study when it was getting late to encourage him to go to bed. But that night something was wrong. I heard shouting and noises from all the way down the hall. I ran to see what was happening, and I saw everything through the crack in the door.”
I’m sobbing as I speak. I’ve never told anybody this. Not even Abram knows all of the details because it’s always been too hard for me to talk about. I don’t have a good reason to tell Daniel, but I guess if I’m going to die, then somebody might as well know the whole truth.
“I saw everything.” I hiccup and power through it. “My father was choking on his own blood. The bastard had tortured him. My father was black and blue… the sounds he made…” I want to cover my ears like that’s going to block them out. I can’t drown out the sound, not even now. It still gives me nightmares. “My father tried his best to keep me hidden… he loved me. He’s the only person who’s ever loved me… and then he was gone.”
I bring my arms up to cover my face and block out as much of my surroundings as I can.
“I promised that I would get revenge. It was the only thing I could do. I wanted him to suffer like I did, like my father did. His father, he’s… he’s the only person I’ve ever killed. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was seventeen. My mother had just died from cancer… and I was all alone.”
That was the day that I started to become the woman that I am now. A woman who hurts and uses people. A woman who puts herself first. Perhaps it would have been better to stay that way… but then Nikolai happened, and I started to regret what I did.
Not that Daniel will believe anything that I say.
People only believe what they want to believe.
CHAPTERTWENTY
Helena
This is it. I’ve confessed. I’ve admitted my crimes and now I’m going to pay for them.
