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I shake my head. “What? No! I haven’t… I don’t even…” I feel like a crazy person. He’s accusing me with such conviction that it’s making me doubt my own mind. Did I? Did I somehow know his sister? When was the last time that I had friends? When was the last time that I introduced somebody like that? It’s been so long… did I do it and just never thought anything of it? Was it an accident?
Daniel reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper and thrusts it at me. I open it carefully and look down at the picture. Sure enough, I’m sitting there. Realization dawns on me slowly, creeping up as the memory is pulled out of a sleepy, rarely visited part of my mind.
“Lillian is your sister?” I mutter incredulously. It is such an impossible thing. How could we have randomly been tied together like this? I rush to explain myself. In my haste, I fumble horribly over my words. The paranoid part of my brain is telling me that it’s only making me sound even more guilty… it’s telling me to slow down, but I can’t. “Before I started things with Nikolai and moved out on my own, I had been making connections… one of those was Lilian. We met for coffee a couple times and started to hang out from time to time… not just us. There was a whole group of us. Given the nature of our backgrounds, we never talked about anything serious. Never families or business talk… that was the whole rule of our friend group…”
It was so that none of us could turn on the other or attempt to use one another for personal gain, because we didn’t know anything real. Hell, I had figured that at least half of the girls in the group had likely given me false first and last names as well.
“One night... We'd been to a club, and Lillian had introduced me to her boyfriend. He looked familiar, but I couldn't place him... As the night progressed, I couldn't get over how much he reminded me of Alek, but he pretended he didn't know who I was. He didn't say anything to me all night...that's this picture was taken. We were all drunk and having a good time... When the club lights came on, I tried to approach him. I wanted to know if he was Alek or not, but he told me to get away from him... to never speak to him again. So I returned home and never saw him again.”
I had spentmonthsafter that encounter justprayingthat the man I met at the club wasn’t my brother. The notion that he could be my brother and just not even want to greet me and get coffee was too much for me to stomach. It hurt too bad. I tucked the memory away somewhere deep in my mind where I wouldn’t ever have to look at it again, because having Alek abandon me a second time as an adult where we could have started from scratch was more than I could handle.
“I didn’t introduce them. Lilian said that they had been dating for a good while before I even went out with them. The picture was a fluke… I don’t know how you got it or what was said to you but Daniel… I didn’t lie!” I’ve never been so desperate for somebody to believe me before in my whole life. Not just because he could kill me any second that he chooses, but it’s important for me thatDanielbelieves me.
“I didn’t see Lillian much after that. I had begun my mission to kill Nikolai’s father and get my revenge… and that took over everything. It became my whole life… the only reason that I was alive. I cut off all of my friendships and ghosted just about everybody, Daniel… including Lilian. When it was all said and done, I was too ashamed of myself to pick things back up withanyof my old friends. Her included.”
Silence envelops us like the winds that have begun to blow. My heart is pounding in my chest. I'm certain that whatever Daniel says next will shape the course of my future. He'll either believe me...or not. I'm not lying. I'm telling him the whole truth and everything I remember about it. Someone is clearly working hard to make sure he doesn't believe me, and I'm certain it's Nikolai.
But if I bring up Nikolai, he’s going to think that I’m manipulating him for sure.
Finally, Daniel turns to face me but there’s nothing on his face. It’s a blank slate.
I swallow hard and my throat bobs anxiously.
His eyes narrow only slightly as he minutely shakes his head.
“I don’t believe you.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
Daniel
“Idon’t believe you,” I whisper, already doubting my choices.
I’ve never been this conflicted in my life.
I tighten my grip on Helena’s arm and slowly start to walk her toward the cliff’s edge.
Her panic breaks and something feral in her unleashes itself. She digs her heels and attempts to pry my fingers loose with her free hand.
“No… no Daniel… please… please… not like this,pleasenot like this! I didn’t lie!Daniel!”Helena screams. Her voice is frantic, and it breaks. It rasps out of her throat in broken, jagged sobs of terror. Each step we take closer to the edge, the louder she cries, the more terrified that she seems.
I’ve been in this business my whole life.
I’ve learned a thing or two about terror and what it can do to a person.
According to my observations so far, there are usually those who will accept their deaths. They will make peace with their god, accept the inevitable, and close their eyes before proceeding to whatever they believe will come next. I assumed Helena was one of them beforeshe accepted her crimes and confessed them to me.
She isn't ready to go quietly now that she isn't burdened by them. Bargaining can happen at any point during a torture session, but it usually happens when they know they're going to die—when they know it's unavoidable and I'm not going to change my mind, they confess.
Only Helena has nothing left to confess to me.
I don’t know if her version of the truth is in fact, the whole truth, but it is what she believes to be true. I can’t fully trust it, and I can’t trust Nikolai either. I can’t pitch her over the cliff, either. Which leaves me at a strange impasse.
The moment I stop walking her toward the edge, Helena collapses. Her tears break free as she sobs and clings to my leg for stability. Her feet are all dirty and cut up. She’s going to need further medical attention. Damn it. Even now, debating whether she’s a lying viper or not… I’m concerned for her wellbeing.
My mouth pulls into a thin, unhappy line. There’s not going to be any winning here. There’s not an outcome that will work here. Somebody is going to lose, and I’m fairly certain it’s going to be me.
I squat next to her, and her hands drop from my leg. She is trembling violently in fear. I place one finger under her chin and motion for her to look up at me. She snifflesheavily and trembles uncontrollably. She extends her hands as if she's going to grab me and pull herself into my arms, only to stop herself at the last possible moment. It kills me that she is seeking comfort from me.
