Page 15 of Ice

JADE

It’s a difficult task to try to get into the mind of a sniper, and it’s by far more strenuous to live as one. I’ve trained for this, studied usage in weapons, how to handle stressful situations and the ability to accept any challenge set in front of me, and I'm proud to say I've always succeeded in my missions.

Your mind has to be in the right place. Our emotions are demanding. Summing it up, you have to literally require your mind to not only do the work it needs to do on the inside to keep you alive, you also have to let it take over every aspect and every grueling detail on the outside.

It’s JJ and I up here. Each of us trained to do this with the privilege to see through our night vision gear as if it’s daylight. Our eyes have to be everywhere. My sights are zeroed in, and I’m ready to pull the trigger at any moment.

That’s why I stayed as far away from Kaleb as I could today. He’s a distraction out here I can’t afford. Not only for myself, but for every single one of my teammates, including him. One slipup, one miss, and we could jeopardize this entire mission. Or worse yet, lose a member of the team. As hard as it is to snub out another life and watch them die unexpectedly from your hand, there is no way in hell I will lose my focus and take a chance on losing one of the guys. To have to live the rest of my life knowing it was my fault would be worse than death to me.

I felt Kaleb’s eyes on me all day. The urge to run to him ran through my veins as fast as the blood coursing through them. I may be an American soldier, but I’m a woman. I have a need to be held every once in a while, and I'd love to have someone tell me they care.

I know he’s not that man. God, how I wish he were. He’s crawled under my skin during the past few days. Every waking moment, all I can think about is him. I’m a fool for believing him when he told me we would continue this once we arrive back home. I'm sure he’s a liar, a manipulator, and I let him take me without knowing a damn thing about him. It's easy to say one thing in the sweltering heat of the desert, then change it completely once you hit safe land. The desert makes you fucking crazy.

Now, as I lie on top of this roof with my rifle in position and my finger on the trigger, ready to fire the instant I need to, I’ve made one decision. I hope I never see him again after this is over. My heart clenches at the thought of not having his hands on me again. He’s possessed me in a way I can’t describe. Deep down I know he only used me every time he fucked me. I have to be done. I have to go back to the States with a clear head and try to return to some sense of normalcy. After tonight, he no longer has control of anything I do or say. During training, there was a hole drilled so deep into our heads that once a mission is over it is never spoken of again. Everything that happens is left here. And that has to include him.

I’m thankfully pulled away from the last thoughts I will allow myself to have of Kaleb the second several men barge out of a building, screaming. JJ and I are undetected up here, and that gives us a great advantage. The moment those fuckers start shooting their guns in the air, we take them out. One right after the other, they drop to the ground. My intellect is not giving a shit that I’ve just snuffed out several human beings’ lives. These fuckers deserve to die. Every damn one of them.

JJ nudges me, his fingers coding that he’s spotted two men climbing up the roof of a building across from us. I aim my rifle, find my target, and take them both out, their shit bodies falling to the ground.

I have no idea how many more we kill. I do know the instant I see three women coming out of a darkened building, I hold off and watch them. Fuck. Sweat starts to drip down my back and forehead. “Goddamn it,” I say while covering my microphone with two of my fingers.

One of them places her hand inside her dark-colored clothing. Threat or not, they have to go. JJ takes out two of them, and I hit the other. I sigh in relief. Minutes go by quickly. All we hear is the firing of guns from inside the building where we know our main target is. The beautiful moment we hear Kaleb announce it’s done is the second JJ pulls out his bomb. He does his thing to set it and we're gone.

Crawling across the hard pebbles of this soon-to-be destroyed building is one of the hardest things. We have to get our asses out of here now. Our shit will blow up if we stall too long. JJ hits the steps alongside the roof first, and I follow close on his ass. Feet planted on the rusty steps, rifle slung over my back, I haul ass. We hit the ground and run for the empty field we've been instructed to meet in.

I hear his voice once again. Deep, dark, and dangerous as he asks each one of us to give our code word. I’m the last one to rattle mine off. Each of us was given a word we were to check in once the mission was complete. "Hunger,” I say loudly, my breathing rapidly picking up speed the faster I run.

The helicopter approaches; one by one, everyone jumps in. Except me.

I can’t explain the sudden urge of panic that catastrophically hits me in the gut. It’s as if my sensors are telling me something is wrong. I turn my body sharply in the direction of the small village. Kaleb, Harris, and Roberts are still running toward us.

“Did you see that?” I yell over the top of the blaring engines of the helicopter.

“See what?” one of the guys yells back from inside the chopper.

“There’s someone running behind them. Fuck!” I scream as I snatch my weapon, aim my scope, and crouch down low.

It’s a damn young boy. My hands begin to shake and my eyes start to water. Everything happens so fast. I watch the young kid, who can't be over the age of twelve or thirteen, stop running. He aims two guns in our direction. Then quickly, his arms shift and he’s pointing them at Kaleb, who's the last one of the three.

“Shoot him, Elliott! Now! Damn it!” JJ roars. My mind is racing as I watch his every move.

“Please put the guns down, boy,” I whisper. He doesn’t. Of course he won’t. These children are brainwashed to believe we are the enemy. Some are stolen from their families, only to become trained killers. Not in the way we train. No, they train to hate and even kill their own flesh and blood if told to.

With perfect hands, I shoot. The young boy flies backwards, but not before he fires off two shots. I can’t think. I can barely see. My vision blurs, and I drop my weapon. My entire being is trembling as the reality of what I've done slams into my chest.

The last thing I allow my brain to remember as I stare into the hard eyes of Kaleb Maverick is the sound of the bomb. The echo of the aircraft as it lifts and shoots round after round from the attached machine guns and the fact that not only have I killed a child, but I’ve been shot.

CHAPTER SEVEN

JADE

“Sir, you can't be back here.” My restless mind is desperately trying to decipher the female voice. I’m groggy, light-headed, and confused. I blink rapidly, fighting the blinding light as I try to open my eyes and focus.

“Elliott.” I try to sit up at the mention of my name, only to have soft but firm hands hold me still. “Captain, please stay still.” I turn in the direction of the female voice.

“Where am I?” I question, my mouth dry. Jesus, my head hurts. Pain shoots through my forearm when I try to lift it to my aching head. White gauze is wrapped around my arm, the tightness constricting me from moving it up or down to inspect what the hell is happening.

“To answer your question, Captain, you're at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany.” I look down to her name tag that reads Dr. Vivian Brooks.

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