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“What would you like to drink?” Landon repositioned Henry onto his shoulders.
“I’m good for now, but can we talk for just a second?”
“Sure.” We walked a bit away from the fire. “What’s up?”
I inhaled and watched Henry yank on Landon’s hair. “Girlfriend?”
“Yeah. I figured, after all the…” He paused and rolled his eyes toward his nephew. “And this afternoon’s conversation, it just seemed natural.” His gaze scanned my face and searched my eyes. “It’s not that big a deal. Is it?”
“To you, maybe not. To me…” It was huge. Bigger than huge. I’d never belonged to anyone, so it was all new. It just felt like it came with more expectations and responsibility than I knew what to do with. “You said if anything made me uncomfortable.”
“Too quick?”
I nodded. “Maybe, yeah. I’m sorry.”
“Well, how’s this? Seeing as how it bugs you, I won’t use the word anymore tonight, but moving forward, we should discuss it, because it’s not a bad thing. I enjoy your company and I really enjoy you.”
Thank goodness the sun was setting. Any change of colour to my cheeks shouldn’t be noticeable to outsiders although I felt the heat blaze across them. “And I enjoy being with you.”
“Music to my ears.” His warm and tender gaze wrapped around me.
What was I thinking? Just slightly overreacting to a word. In the grand scheme of things, it was harmless, wasn’t it?
However, I had to keep reminding myself that Landon and I were a short-term thing, that had been the plan. Find my in, which I did, and deliver the news, which I will. Cedar was here, I was going to meet her in a non-work related way, and maybe, just maybe, discuss our biological father. Then my part was done, Everest could get off my back, and life would go on.
“You okay?”
I inhaled sharply and nodded. Tonight was about meeting her, sharing the news with her, and asking a lot of her. The pressure of it all was pushing on me, stubbing out my breath, and giving me some crazy ass things to get upset over.
“Shall we head back to the fire? I don’t want this little guy…” He bounced up and down, and Henry’s giggles punctuated the air. “To get cold.”
Scanning the area, I spotted her again. Cedar was only a few feet away. “That’s umm, what’s her name again?”
“Cedar. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”
“There’s lots of time yet. We just got here.” Why was I suddenly putting the brakes on?
The table by the houses was devoid of guests. “Let me grab us a couple of beers first since your hands are rather full.”
With a quick kiss to my forehead, Landon walked back to the fire, and I headed to the tables by the deck, drawing out two ice-cold beers from the cooler. Rather than rejoin the group, I hung back to take it all in, surprised by the closeness of everyone. So many of them, and they were interconnected in each other’s lives. A giant pang of sadness wrapped around my heart.
As much as I looked back on my time at the commune with disdain, we’d had that closeness too. Shared spaces, shared laughter, and a feeling of family amongst friends. The ache deepened as I realised how much I missed it, and how lucky I was for Landon to have invited me to be a part of his family and friends.
“Something else, isn’t it, jellybean?”
I faced the voice on the deck.Iris.
Her dark hair fell on either side of her face as she leaned on the railings. “I didn’t know you and Landon were a couple?”
The bonfire billowed as someone dropped in a log, and a crackle popped sparks in the air like a mini firework.
“It’s new.” I bobbed my head.
“A little overwhelming? Meeting the whole family for the first time?” In a quick fluid motion, she descended the stairs to stand beside me.
“Are they all related?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “If it’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s family doesn’t mean blood. It’s those who stood by you when you needed them most and make life worth living when you think it’s lost all meaning.” She pointed to the crowd of people. “Those people out there, they’re my family too. The best, most kindest people I’ve ever known. They’ll always have your back, even if you don’t always have theirs.” She grabbed a hot dog and pierced it onto a stick. “Once you’re a part of it, you’re stuck. Welcome to it, sister.”
