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“But it connected me with you. Yes, I did say I didn’t do relationships but that’s because I don’t know how.” My shoulders rose and fell. “I’ve never had anyone like me like me, like the way you do. Or did. Because you probably hate me now. And I deserve that.”
So much for sticking to my properly worded and thought-out apology. I was so far off track it wasn’t even funny.
“Like everyone keeps telling me, I’m young and foolish, and I have so much to learn, but the kicker is, I’m willing to learn. I’m willing to try hard with you. Every moment I’ve spent with you, I’ve enjoyed. I love how you overreact to the littlest thing, and I adore your constant corrections, but I know it’s because you wear your heart on your sleeve. I love who you are when you’re flirting with people, not because you’re attracted to them, but because you are making them feel valuable and comfortable in your presence. Oh my god, I love how you are with your family. You’re warm and genuine and fun-loving, you know when to be a part of a group, and when to pull back for something a little more private.” I leaned closer to the camera and whispered, “And good lord, I love how you are in the sack. You’re wild and free, and you bring out the woman in me.”
Several times over.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you.” I blinked a few times and rolled the side of my bottom lip between my teeth. “I do, I said it. I really like you a lot, and I miss you when you’re not around. I miss not reading your completely random text messages, and when I’m out and about, I’m always searching for you, wondering if I’ll see you walking your ex-girlfriend’s dog in the park, or if you’ll pop into the bakery. I guess I just hadn’t really understood what those feelings were until now. And for that, I’m sorry.” I slouched and tugged on the collar of my shirt.
My phone vibrated deep in my pocket.
“I’d like the opportunity to say all of this to you in person, so when you get home, can you please call me so we can talk in the real?”
My phone kept buzzing, and I pulled it out.Everest.I turned my back to the doorbell camera, and whispered, “Hey, I’ll call you right back.”
“Don’t hang up, please.” There was an alarming pitch in his voice.
“What’s going on?” I righted myself and stared out to the road. Between the houses, I glimpsed the ocean.
“It’s Dad. It’s time. It’s happening. We’re losing him.”
“Like what? Now? For real?” My heart stuttered and slammed the brakes on.
“It’s happening.” His voice broke. “Can you meet me? I need you.”
An unexpected lump built impressively fast in the back of my throat and shake after shake rippled through my body. There was supposed to be more time. Months even. “I don’t know where he’s staying.”
Everest spewed out the address.
Fighting back tears, I shook my head. “Everest, I need more than that. Breckinridge Lane doesn’t sound familiar. And where the hell is Grand Fir Creek? You know what, never mind. Text me the address. Google will find it for me. I’m on my way. I’ll be as fast as I can.”
I wasn’t normally a speeder, but I was sure there’d be a few speeding tickets coming in the mail within a couple of weeks. I made good time to the address Everest had provided, and thankfully the lone highway was desolate.
Arriving in Grand Fir Creek, I half-expected to see a town at least as big as Cheshire Bay, but the single street with a lack of lane markers made my town look like a metropolis. No way there was a hospital here.
I drove down the main street, with a total of seven buildings, and turned onto a dirt road. Inching my way past the houses, I kept scanning the horizon for a hospital or at least a larger than a two-story building. Instead, Google had me park in front of a long bungalow with a porch stretching across the front and a weathered, unreadable sign hanging above the stairs. Huge, overflowing flowerpots in all colours of the rainbow lined the base of the porch. From the outside, it looked bright and cheery.
The longer I stared at it, the more it did look like my father’s type of place. Tucked into the woods, it would be quiet and peaceful, and less institutional than a hospital.
I put my car into park in one of the four available stalls and killed the engine. This was it. If I choose to say goodbye and make peace with the last few years, my chance was now or never. Except I wasn’t sure what I wanted. There was supposed to have been more time to work through it all.
Everest opened the front door and stalked over to the end of the balcony, his long, wavy brown hair billowing in the breeze. From his jean jacket pocket, he pulled out a pack of smokes and shook one free, lighting it, and taking a long drag.
Bracing myself for what the next few hours could possibly hold, I exited my car, connecting with my big brother as he leaned on the railing.
“Aspen.” Despite the reasoning for my presence, he descended the stairs and greeted me with a smile and then a warm, welcoming hug, enveloping me in a familiar smoked barley and vanilla scent.
“Hey.”
“Dad’s inside. Far room on the left.”
Standing on the wide asphalt sidewalk lined with white rock, I was halfway between my car and the house; I could drive away or face the future.
“That’s okay. I’m not sure I’m ready yet. I came here for you.”
After messing my hair, he led me toward the house. “We can sit on the porch until you are.”
“Thanks.”
