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A few steps later, I sat on the porch swing as Everest sat beside me. He offered me a drag from his cigarette, and I took a long puff, feeling my lungs expand with the inhale.
“This isn’t your normal cigarette.” I stared at it, wondering what was under the wrapper.
Gently, he gave the swing a little push, and we moved back and forth. “Nope. Made it myself. Side business.”
My eyes nearly bugged out. “That’s illegal.”
“Only if I get caught. And who’s going to tell them?” He tossed his hands off to the side, and a look of pure smugness filled his face. Everest could talk himself out of any situation, so no doubt, it had already happened, and he’d weaseled his claim on innocence.
“Just be careful.” I shrugged but took another long inhale. It had been too long since I’d smoked a damn good cigarette.
“Always am.”
A sense of calm was blanketing me, and my heart wasn’t racing as quickly as it once had. It wasn’t the porch swing, and it wasn’t being around my big brother.
“What did you put in this?”
He leaned back and with his outstretched hand, rubbed the top of my back. “Don’t worry. The effects don’t last long. I’ve made stronger stuff for Dad, and even that didn’t work like I’d hoped.”
I took another drag, relaxing further. It was addictive. I rather enjoyed the feeling of all my cares floating away.
“Is he in a lot of pain?”
“Probably, but you know dad, he’d never say.” Everest put the toe of his boot onto the ground and swayed the swing.
“What happened? Why the sudden downward spiral?”
“Their best guess? A fast-spreading cancer.”
My eyes widened. “Their best guess? Didn’t they test him?”
“You and me, we live in the real world with access to medical things, if we want or need it, but he doesn’t. He hated anything and everything with any kind of a Western medical spin on it. Watching him on dialysis was awful, and a week ago, he refused to go anymore. Signed away his right, or whatever it’s called, to further dialysis. Didn’t want to be on the machines, despite all the negatives about walking away from it.” Everest stared out to a grove of trees. Surprisingly, his voice was calm and even.
“So he gave up?”
“Essentially. Said he’d lived his best life and he was proud of everything. The only regret he had was Cedar, and he wished he knew her better, but he was ready to go.”
A jealous pang twanged in my heart.
“Couldn’t they force him?”
Everest gave me a look like I should’ve known better than to have asked.
Sighing, I shifted. “Did they, could they, give him anything?”
“You’re kidding, right? He flat-out refused, and quite angrily I may add, any more Western medicine into his body. Says that’s why things deteriorated so quickly to begin with. Had he not gone at my behest, he would’ve died in the woods peacefully where he preferred instead of some institution where he’s miserable.”
My hand clasped my chest, unable to believe what I was hearing. I never knew him to be a man who refused help when it was offered. There was no way he was that pig-headed.
“Is he in pain?”
Everest’s swallow caught my attention, and he nodded somberly. “He asked me to whip up some herbal products, but I got nothing left Aspen. Everything I’ve made for him doesn’t even touch his pain.”
I rolled my shoulders inward, as his heartbreaking sadness wrapped around me. “What are they saying? The nurses? It is nurses here, right?”
He tipped his hand from side to side. “Sure, if you want to believe that. This isn’t the big city, hell, it’s a hole in the earth, but it’s where he wanted to be when the time came.” He took the cigarette away from me and took a five-second inhale. “By the way, did you find her?”
“Cedar? Yes.”
