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“Only a matter of time,” he mocks. “Should I pass your assurances onto the rest of the alumni? I’m sure everyone will appreciate just how precise of a timeline you’ve been working with. Perhaps the next time you ask when your bank account will be replenished, I’ll respond that it is only a matter of time.”
In the very beginning, I almost had myself convinced that my father gave me money and bought me things out of love. Maybe he couldn’t say the words, but he could still express the emotion with his credit card.
I’d been so embarrassed the first time he took me to a restaurant as a kid. After showing us to our table, the host had insisted on taking my tattered coat and hanging it up, no matter how much I tried to stop him. Seeing the moth-eaten and patched fabric hanging next to my father’s elegant overcoat made me feel like something lesser.
Someone worthless.
My father promised that, as his son, I would never have to feel that way again.
Now I understand that the money was only ever meant to be a way for him to control me. Fancy clothes, expensive motorcycle, exotic trips all over the world: he got me used to the lifestyle from the very beginning.
All so he would have something to take away if I stepped out of line.
My father is basically a drug dealer who offers that first hit for free, knowing how quickly most people will get hooked.
I think about hanging up, but he’ll just keep calling until I pick up again. “The money has never been the most important thing to me.”
“Felicia’s next tuition payment is due in a month. I’ll keep that in mind when it’s time for me to wire the money.”
I clench my fingers around the phone, any harder and I’ll crack the screen. If I’d known how willing he would be to use my sister as a pawn, I never would have insisted on bringing her to St. Bart’s. I should have guessed his intentions when my father decided to only pay her tuition quarterly, instead of in a lump sum. He wants the option to send her away at any time without risking a financial loss.
“If you don’t hold up your end of the deal, then I won’t hold up mine.”
“So you’ve said so many times before.” The censure in his voice is obvious. As much as I want to pretend his disappointment doesn’t matter to me, it does. It always has.
In a flashing second, I’m that quaking boy with the pants of my itchy suit pulled down as he whips me with a belt and he tells me that I must try harder if I want to be a Van Koch.
According to him, the name has to be earned. And as difficult as it might be for me to earn it, that is how easily it could be taken away.
But it’s getting harder to remember why I wanted it so badly in the first place.
“I’m sure you’ll do whatever you think is appropriate,” I say tightly. “You always do, Father.”
“I don’t believe I have ever been this disappointed in you.”
The words are meant to hurt, but I suppress the reflexive twinge of pain. Even when I hate him, I still want my father proud of me. It’s sick.
But he can only control me if I let him.
“I understand,” I reply, keeping my voice very carefully neutral.
“Luckily for you, at least one situation is already being managed. I had hoped to showcase my son’s ability to fulfill the leadership role in Havoc House that the Van Koch’s have maintained for almost two centuries. But there isn’t anything that can be done about it now. It’s no thanks to you, obviously, but some things can’t be helped. As of tonight, Olivia Pratt will no longer be a problem for anyone.”
A chill moves down my spine. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like.” For a moment, he almost sounds tired. “I told you that you were running out of time. It isn’t my fault that you chose not to listen. Time has officially run out.”
“You told me we had until an alumni representative arrived.”
“I did,” he acknowledges. “I also said that your time is up.”
The alumni are already here.
My fingers grip the phone so hard that it hurts. “I’m president. Why don’t I know about this?”
“You’ll be told what you need to know when you need to know it,” he snaps. “Just do what you’re told, so the Initiation occurs without a problem.”
I’m not worried about the damn Initiation. I want to know what is going to happen tonight. “What’s going to happen to Olivia?”
